Created for Connection by Sue Johnson Summary

Created for Connection by Sue Johnson is a Christian-focused relationship guide based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The book teaches couples how to build secure emotional bonds through understanding attachment needs, breaking destructive communication patterns called "Demon Dialogues," and engaging in seven transformative conversations. Johnson integrates Biblical principles with proven therapeutic techniques to help partners create lasting intimacy grounded in faith and emotional responsiveness.

Sue Johnson was a world-renowned clinical psychologist and the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), recognized as the gold standard for couples therapy. She earned her doctorate from the University of British Columbia in 1984 and founded the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Johnson received prestigious honors including the American Psychological Association's "Family Psychologist of the Year" and the Order of Canada for her global contributions to relationship science. She passed away in April 2024.

Created for Connection is ideal for Christian couples seeking to strengthen their marriage through faith-based relationship guidance. The book serves couples wanting to enrich healthy relationships, revitalize disconnected ones, or rescue struggling marriages while integrating God and Biblical teachings into their bond. Marriage counselors, pastors, and faith-based therapists will also find valuable tools for helping couples understand attachment needs and emotional responsiveness from a Christian perspective.

Created for Connection is worth reading because it combines scientifically-proven Emotionally Focused Therapy with Christian principles, offering the only program validated to improve both relationship satisfaction and foster secure bonds. With EFT demonstrating 70-75% effectiveness for couples, the book provides actionable frameworks rather than superficial advice. The integration of Biblical verses, real-life stories, and practical exercises makes complex therapeutic concepts accessible while honoring faith traditions.

Demon Dialogues are destructive communication patterns that couples fall into during conflicts, including "Find the Bad Guy," "Protest Polka," and "Freeze and Flee."

• Find the Bad Guy involves mutual blame and accusations that create hostility.
• Protest Polka occurs when one partner pursues connection through demands while the other withdraws, creating a frustrating cycle.
• Freeze and Flee happens when both partners emotionally shut down to avoid hurt.

Recognizing these patterns is crucial for breaking free and rebuilding emotional safety.

The Seven Transformative Conversations in Created for Connection guide couples through articulating their deepest fears and desires to foster secure attachment. These structured dialogues help partners recognize negative patterns, understand underlying attachment needs, and rebuild emotional connection. The conversations move couples from blame and defensiveness toward vulnerability and responsiveness, creating a safe emotional bond similar to a child's secure attachment to a parent and believers' relationship with God.

Created for Connection is essentially the same book as Hold Me Tight but approaches the material from an explicitly Christian perspective. Johnson welcomes Kenneth Sanderfer as a contributor who adds Biblical verses, scripture references, and faith-based components that align EFT principles with Christian teachings. While Hold Me Tight focuses purely on attachment science and therapy, Created for Connection shows how the framework reflects what Christians read in the Bible, from Genesis's garden marriage to Revelation's wedding feast.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a structured, attachment-based approach to couples therapy that Sue Johnson developed over 30 years ago, now recognized as the gold standard for helping couples reconnect. EFT focuses on the emotional bond between partners, helping them understand and reshape emotional responses based on attachment needs. Research demonstrates that 70-75% of couples who undergo EFT experience significant improvement in relationship satisfaction, with effectiveness validated in over 35 years of peer-reviewed clinical research.

Created for Connection applies attachment theory to explain that adults depend on partners for nurturing, soothing, and protection much like children depend on parents, and believers depend on God. The book teaches that humans are hardwired to need close emotional bonds for survival and well-being. When couples understand their attachment needs and fears, they can move from insecurity and anxiety toward secure bonding characterized by emotional accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement.

Created for Connection emphasizes that love is a basic human need requiring emotional responsiveness, not just a luxury. Key takeaways include recognizing and breaking free from Demon Dialogues, understanding that emotional accessibility creates lasting intimacy, and using the seven conversations to express vulnerability safely. The book teaches that secure emotional bonds provide the foundation for handling life's challenges, that healthy attachment mirrors divine connection, and that attunement and responsive communication are essential for relationship fulfillment.

Created for Connection helps struggling marriages by teaching couples to identify destructive patterns, access underlying emotions, and rebuild emotional safety through structured conversations. The book provides a "relationship repair kit" with practical tools like feelings charts, conversation starters, and techniques for constructive communication during conflicts. Rather than focusing on arguing better or analyzing childhood issues, the approach targets emotional underpinnings to reestablish safe connection, with proven effectiveness rates of 70-75% for distressed couples.

Created for Connection stands apart because it isn't "fluffy Christian self-help" but a scientifically-validated therapeutic framework integrated with Biblical teachings. The book combines Sue Johnson's 35 years of peer-reviewed EFT research with Kenneth Sanderfer's Christian perspective, offering the only relationship program proven to improve both satisfaction and secure bonding. Unlike advice-based books, it provides a structured therapeutic model with demonstrated effectiveness while showing how attachment science aligns with scripture and faith practices.