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    Created for Connection book cover

    Created for Connection by Kenneth Sanderfer & Sue Johnson Summary

    Created for Connection
    Kenneth Sanderfer & Sue Johnson
    4.22 (570 Reviews)
    RelationshipPsychologyCommunication skillSelf-growth
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    Overview of Created for Connection

    Discover the science-backed guide merging Christian faith with attachment therapy, hailed by relationship expert Dr. John Gottman as the work of "the best couple therapist in the world." What if emotional safety - not communication skills - is what your marriage truly needs?

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    Best quote from Created for Connection

    “

    Love isn't just the icing on the cake of life but a basic primary need, like oxygen-exactly as Genesis 2:18 declares: "It is not good for man to be alone."

    ”
    Explore Your Way of Learning
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    Key Takeaways

    1

    Why Some Marriages Thrive While Others Barely Survive

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    A wife stands at her kitchen counter, tears streaming down her face as her husband scrolls through his phone, oblivious. She's not crying about the dishes or the bills or even his late nights at work. She's crying because she feels invisible. Across town, a husband lies awake, his wife's back turned toward him, the space between them on the bed feeling like an ocean. He wants to reach out but doesn't know how. These scenes play out in millions of homes every night - even among couples who once couldn't keep their hands off each other, even in marriages rooted in faith and commitment. Here's the startling truth: nearly half of all marriages fail, and Christian couples divorce at virtually the same rate as everyone else. Despite countless marriage seminars, relationship books, and well-meaning advice, something fundamental is being missed. The answer isn't about better communication techniques or learning to fight fair. It's about something far more primal: our desperate, hardwired need for secure emotional connection. When that connection breaks, everything else crumbles. When it's strong, couples don't just survive - they flourish. We've all heard love described as a beautiful mystery, an inexplicable force that brings two souls together. But attachment science reveals something more profound: love isn't just an emotion or a choice - it's our most powerful survival mechanism, coded into our biology as deeply as hunger or thirst. British psychiatrist John Bowlby revolutionized our understanding by observing children separated from their parents, discovering that their distress wasn't weakness but a survival response. His work eventually transformed child-rearing worldwide, but here's what changes everything for adult relationships: this attachment need doesn't disappear when we grow up. Throughout our entire lives, we're wired to seek close connection with someone who becomes our safe haven - a person whose presence calms our nervous system and whose absence triggers primal panic.

    2

    The Science Behind Our Deepest Needs and Destructive Patterns

    3

    Breaking Free by Recognizing Your Patterns and Raw Spots

    4

    The Three Questions and the Moment That Changes Everything

    5

    Healing Wounds, Reclaiming Passion, and Maintaining Connection

    6

    The Divine Design: Connection as Our Deepest Purpose

    7

    The Promise: Becoming Fully Human Through Love