Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori A. Brotto Summary

Better Sex Through Mindfulness explores how mindfulness practices can enhance women’s sexual well-being by addressing low desire, arousal difficulties, and genital pain. Drawing on 15+ years of clinical research, Dr. Lori Brotto combines scientific evidence with practical exercises to help readers cultivate present-moment awareness, reduce stress-related sexual barriers, and improve intimacy. The book debunks myths about “normal” sexuality while offering strategies grounded in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy.

This book is ideal for women experiencing sexual concerns like low desire, distraction during intimacy, or pain, as well as therapists and healthcare providers seeking evidence-based approaches. It also benefits partners aiming to support sexual well-being or individuals interested in mindfulness applications beyond traditional stress reduction.

Yes, for its actionable blend of clinical science and accessible mindfulness exercises. Critics praise its research-backed approach but note repetitive sections and heteronormative language. It’s particularly valuable for readers seeking alternatives to pharmaceutical interventions or those navigating stress-related sexual challenges.

Brotto suggests practices like body scans, mindful breathing, and sensory-focused activities (e.g., the “raisin exercise” to heighten awareness). These techniques aim to reduce anxiety, improve bodily connection, and reframe sexual experiences without judgment. Structured mindfulness meditation sessions of 10-15 minutes daily form the core intervention.

The book frames genital pain (e.g., vulvodynia) as both a physical and psychological experience. Mindfulness helps patients disentangle pain from emotional distress through non-reactive observation of sensations. Brotto emphasizes gradual exposure paired with mindfulness to rebuild positive associations with touch.

Brotto identifies the brain as the “master sexual organ,” highlighting how stress, distraction, and negative self-talk inhibit arousal. Mindfulness trains the brain to focus on erotic cues while reducing anxiety’s interference, creating neural pathways that support sexual responsiveness.

The book challenges notions like “spontaneous desire is essential” and “sexual frequency declines irreversibly with age.” Brotto presents evidence that responsive desire (arising from stimulation) is equally valid and that mindfulness can rejuvenate sexual interest at any life stage.

Reviewers note the binary gendered language excludes non-cisgender/queer experiences and that anecdotal repetitions weaken pacing. However, these are outweighed by its clinical rigor and practical framework for sexual well-being.

While both address women’s sexuality, Brotto focuses specifically on mindfulness as a therapeutic tool, whereas Nagoski explores broader sociocultural and biological factors. The books are complementary—Brotto offers targeted exercises, while Nagoski provides foundational theory.

Yes, through exercises designed for partners, like synchronized breathing and mindful touch. The book teaches couples to approach sexual discrepancies without blame, fostering empathy and collaborative problem-solving around mismatched desires.

Judging sexual experiences (e.g., “I should want sex more”) amplifies distress. Mindfulness encourages observing thoughts/feelings without evaluation, reducing shame cycles and creating space for authentic sexual responses to emerge.

Its focus on stress reduction remains critical amid rising anxiety rates. Updated research continues to validate mindfulness for sexual health, with recent studies cited in Brotto’s 2022 workbook edition strengthening the original arguments.