Slow Sex by Diana Richardson Summary

Slow Sex by Diana Richardson redefines intimacy through mindful, meditative practices that prioritize emotional connection over physical performance. The book guides couples to transform sex into a sustainable, loving union by emphasizing eye contact, deep breathing, and slow penetration. It contrasts fast, goal-driven encounters with a philosophy of slowness that enhances sensitivity and spiritual awareness, offering techniques to sustain fulfilling sexuality into old age.

This book is ideal for couples seeking deeper emotional bonds, individuals frustrated by routine or performance anxiety, and those interested in integrating mindfulness into their sex lives. It’s especially relevant for partners aiming to sustain intimacy long-term or explore spirituality through sexuality. Diana Richardson’s approach appeals to readers open to non-traditional, holistic methods.

Yes, for those seeking to revitalize their sex life with mindfulness. Richardson combines practical exercises (like synchronized breathing and sustained eye contact) with insights on sustainable pleasure. While its emphasis on slowness may challenge conventional expectations, the book offers a fresh perspective for couples willing to prioritize emotional connection over physical urgency.

Key ideas include:

• Conscious intimacy: Treating sex as a deliberate, meditative act rather than spontaneous.
• Coolness over heat: Reducing intensity to heighten sensitivity and longevity.
• Sustainable pleasure: Techniques to maintain vitality and enjoyment into older age.
• Energy union: Using slow penetration and breathwork to harmonize partners’ energies.

Unlike goal-oriented methods focused on orgasm, Slow Sex prioritizes presence and emotional attunement. Richardson critiques “fast sex” as mechanically satisfying but emotionally hollow, advocating instead for practices that build intimacy through patience, eye contact, and sensory awareness. This approach aligns more with tantric traditions than mainstream sexual advice.

Yes. Richardson argues that slowing down makes sexuality sustainable and enjoyable well into later life. The book includes positions and practices tailored for older bodies, emphasizing gentle penetration and energy exchange over physical exertion. It frames aging as an opportunity for deeper connection rather than a limitation.

• Eye contact: Maintaining visual connection to deepen emotional resonance.
• Breath synchronization: Aligning partners’ breathing to unify energy.
• Soft penetration: Minimizing movement to focus on subtle sensations.
• Meditative awareness: Treating sex as a shared mindfulness practice.

Yes. By reducing performance pressure and fostering open communication, the practices encourage vulnerability and trust. Partners learn to prioritize presence over outcomes, which can translate to better conflict resolution and emotional support in daily life.

Diana Richardson transitioned from law to holistic therapy, studying under Osho and Barry Long. Since 1993, she’s led “Making Love Retreats” in Switzerland, blending tantric principles with modern relationship dynamics. Her work focuses on sustainable intimacy rather than fleeting pleasure.

Some may find the approach overly idealistic for busy lifestyles or too reliant on partner synchronization. Critics might argue it undervalues spontaneous passion, though Richardson positions slowness as a conscious choice rather than a rigid rule.

Start with non-sexual mindfulness exercises like shared breathing or prolonged eye contact. Gradually incorporate “soft penetration” sessions without movement, focusing on breath and sensation. Richardson advises dedicating 20–30 minutes initially, prioritizing quality over duration.

The book frames sex as a pathway to higher consciousness, where partners achieve a meditative state through synchronized energy. Richardson draws from tantra, viewing sexual union as a way to transcend ego and access collective awareness. This spiritual dimension distinguishes it from purely physical guides.

The book combines theory (exploring the “why” of slow sexuality) with step-by-step practices. Chapters include exercises like “The 15-Minute Gaze” and diagrams for meditative positions. Case studies from Richardson’s retreats illustrate real-world applications.

It counters issues like boredom, performance anxiety, and disconnect by recentering sex around emotional presence. For couples struggling with mismatched libidos, Richardson’s methods offer a way to reconnect without pressure. The book also provides alternatives to pornography-influenced intimacy norms.

While not heavily cited, the book aligns with research on mindfulness reducing stress and improving relational satisfaction. The emphasis on slow touch mirrors studies on oxytocin release through prolonged physical contact. However, some claims about energy exchange lean more toward experiential evidence.

Its fusion of tantric philosophy with practical, heteronormative advice fills a niche between esoteric spirituality and mainstream sex manuals. The focus on sustainability and aging also distinguishes it from youth-centric resources.

Richardson suggests framing it as an experiment in connection rather than criticism. Partners might begin with non-sexual exercises like shared meditation or sensate focus, gradually building comfort. Emphasizing the stress-reducing benefits can make the approach more accessible.

While designed for committed couples, solo practitioners can adapt techniques like mindful masturbation or breathwork. However, the full benefits of energy exchange and eye contact require a partner.

She hosts “Making Love Retreats” in Switzerland and has authored eight books on tantric intimacy. Her website and YouTube interviews expand on Slow Sex principles, while her retreats offer hands-on coaching.