The New Revised Standard Version Bible with Apocrypha: Pocket Edition by Sue Johnson Summary

1. Love is not a luxury but a fundamental human survival need.
2. Demon Dialogues trap couples in blame cycles that destroy connection.
3. Emotional responsiveness matters more than conflict resolution skills in relationships.
4. Sue Johnson's A.R.E. framework builds secure attachment through accessibility and engagement.
5. The Protest Polka occurs when one partner pursues while another withdraws.
6. Created for Connection shows how divine love mirrors human attachment bonds.
7. Emotionally Focused Therapy helps seventy percent of couples reconnect successfully.
8. Recognizing your raw spots prevents destructive patterns from repeating in marriage.
9. Three crucial questions reveal if your partner provides secure emotional attachment.
10. Sue Johnson teaches that love is an emotional bond not bargaining.
11. The seven Hold Me Tight conversations transform fear into vulnerability and trust.
12. Connection with God strengthens our capacity for human emotional intimacy.

About the Author

Dr. Susan Johnson (1947–2024) was the pioneering author of Created for Connection and a world-renowned clinical psychologist. She transformed the field of couples and family therapy through her development of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

Born in Britain and working throughout Canada, Johnson earned her doctorate in counselling psychology from the University of British Columbia. She dedicated over three decades to studying human bonding, attachment theory, and romantic relationships.

As founding director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, she trained mental health professionals worldwide in EFT, a therapeutic approach validated by over 35 years of peer-reviewed research and recognized as the gold standard for relationship repair. Her bestselling book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love has sold over one million copies and been translated into 30 languages.

Johnson received prestigious honors including Family Psychologist of the Year from the American Psychological Association and the Order of Canada, solidifying her legacy as one of the most influential voices in attachment science and relationship psychology.

FAQs About This Book

What is Created for Connection by Sue Johnson about?

Created for Connection by Sue Johnson is a Christian-focused relationship guide based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The book teaches couples how to build secure emotional bonds through understanding attachment needs, breaking destructive communication patterns called "Demon Dialogues," and engaging in seven transformative conversations. Johnson integrates Biblical principles with proven therapeutic techniques to help partners create lasting intimacy grounded in faith and emotional responsiveness.

Who was Sue Johnson, the author of Created for Connection?

Sue Johnson was a world-renowned clinical psychologist and the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), recognized as the gold standard for couples therapy. She earned her doctorate from the University of British Columbia in 1984 and founded the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Johnson received prestigious honors including the American Psychological Association's "Family Psychologist of the Year" and the Order of Canada for her global contributions to relationship science. She passed away in April 2024.

Who should read Created for Connection?

Created for Connection is ideal for Christian couples seeking to strengthen their marriage through faith-based relationship guidance. The book serves couples wanting to enrich healthy relationships, revitalize disconnected ones, or rescue struggling marriages while integrating God and Biblical teachings into their bond. Marriage counselors, pastors, and faith-based therapists will also find valuable tools for helping couples understand attachment needs and emotional responsiveness from a Christian perspective.

Is Created for Connection worth reading?

Created for Connection is worth reading because it combines scientifically-proven Emotionally Focused Therapy with Christian principles, offering the only program validated to improve both relationship satisfaction and foster secure bonds. With EFT demonstrating 70-75% effectiveness for couples, the book provides actionable frameworks rather than superficial advice. The integration of Biblical verses, real-life stories, and practical exercises makes complex therapeutic concepts accessible while honoring faith traditions.

What are the Demon Dialogues in Created for Connection?

Demon Dialogues are destructive communication patterns that couples fall into during conflicts, including "Find the Bad Guy," "Protest Polka," and "Freeze and Flee."

• Find the Bad Guy involves mutual blame and accusations that create hostility.
• Protest Polka occurs when one partner pursues connection through demands while the other withdraws, creating a frustrating cycle.
• Freeze and Flee happens when both partners emotionally shut down to avoid hurt.

Recognizing these patterns is crucial for breaking free and rebuilding emotional safety.

What are the Seven Transformative Conversations in Created for Connection?

The Seven Transformative Conversations in Created for Connection guide couples through articulating their deepest fears and desires to foster secure attachment. These structured dialogues help partners recognize negative patterns, understand underlying attachment needs, and rebuild emotional connection. The conversations move couples from blame and defensiveness toward vulnerability and responsiveness, creating a safe emotional bond similar to a child's secure attachment to a parent and believers' relationship with God.

How does Created for Connection differ from Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson?

Created for Connection is essentially the same book as Hold Me Tight but approaches the material from an explicitly Christian perspective. Johnson welcomes Kenneth Sanderfer as a contributor who adds Biblical verses, scripture references, and faith-based components that align EFT principles with Christian teachings. While Hold Me Tight focuses purely on attachment science and therapy, Created for Connection shows how the framework reflects what Christians read in the Bible, from Genesis's garden marriage to Revelation's wedding feast.

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in Created for Connection?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a structured, attachment-based approach to couples therapy that Sue Johnson developed over 30 years ago, now recognized as the gold standard for helping couples reconnect. EFT focuses on the emotional bond between partners, helping them understand and reshape emotional responses based on attachment needs. Research demonstrates that 70-75% of couples who undergo EFT experience significant improvement in relationship satisfaction, with effectiveness validated in over 35 years of peer-reviewed clinical research.

How does Created for Connection use attachment theory?

Created for Connection applies attachment theory to explain that adults depend on partners for nurturing, soothing, and protection much like children depend on parents, and believers depend on God. The book teaches that humans are hardwired to need close emotional bonds for survival and well-being. When couples understand their attachment needs and fears, they can move from insecurity and anxiety toward secure bonding characterized by emotional accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement.

What are the main takeaways from Created for Connection?

Created for Connection emphasizes that love is a basic human need requiring emotional responsiveness, not just a luxury. Key takeaways include recognizing and breaking free from Demon Dialogues, understanding that emotional accessibility creates lasting intimacy, and using the seven conversations to express vulnerability safely. The book teaches that secure emotional bonds provide the foundation for handling life's challenges, that healthy attachment mirrors divine connection, and that attunement and responsive communication are essential for relationship fulfillment.

How can Created for Connection help struggling marriages?

Created for Connection helps struggling marriages by teaching couples to identify destructive patterns, access underlying emotions, and rebuild emotional safety through structured conversations. The book provides a "relationship repair kit" with practical tools like feelings charts, conversation starters, and techniques for constructive communication during conflicts. Rather than focusing on arguing better or analyzing childhood issues, the approach targets emotional underpinnings to reestablish safe connection, with proven effectiveness rates of 70-75% for distressed couples.

What makes Created for Connection different from other Christian marriage books?

Created for Connection stands apart because it isn't "fluffy Christian self-help" but a scientifically-validated therapeutic framework integrated with Biblical teachings. The book combines Sue Johnson's 35 years of peer-reviewed EFT research with Kenneth Sanderfer's Christian perspective, offering the only relationship program proven to improve both satisfaction and secure bonding. Unlike advice-based books, it provides a structured therapeutic model with demonstrated effectiveness while showing how attachment science aligns with scripture and faith practices.