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    Categories>The Hidden Scorekeeper: How CPTSD Sabotages Love

    The Hidden Scorekeeper: How CPTSD Sabotages Love

    25 min
    |
    |
    Feb 16, 2026

    Explore how complex trauma rewires the brain to obsessively track relationship disappointments while filtering out love and care, creating a devastating cycle that convinces trauma survivors they're unloved despite evidence to the contrary.

    The Hidden Scorekeeper: How CPTSD Sabotages Love

    Best quote from The Hidden Scorekeeper: How CPTSD Sabotages Love

    “

    When someone's keeping score due to CPTSD, they're not sitting there thinking, 'How can I hurt my partner today?' They're genuinely experiencing terror about being abandoned or rejected, and their brain is desperately trying to gather evidence to either confirm or deny that fear.

    ”

    This audio lesson was created by a BeFreed community member

    Input question

    CPTSD and how they see partners mistakes and keep score of the bad things their partner has done and forget the good thereby convincing themselves that their partner doesn't love them

    Host voices
    Lenaplay
    Eliplay
    Knowledge sources
    CPTSD and Relationships: Why Conflict Happens and What To Do
    link
    https://psychcentral.com/ptsd/c-ptsd-and-interpersonal-relationships
    Stop Walking on Eggshells
    Complex PTSD and Romantic Relationships: How Trauma Impacts
    link
    https://goodhealthpsych.com/blog/complex-ptsd-and-romantic-relationships-how-trauma-impacts/
    The Overthinking In Relationships Fix
    Complex PTSD and relationships: Effects, triggers, and more
    link
    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/complex-ptsd-triggers-in-relationships
    Mother Hunger

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    "Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

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    "Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

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    Key Takeaways

    1

    Opening and Introduction: The Hidden Scorekeeper in Love

    0:00
    0:14
    0:32
    2

    Setting the Stage: Understanding the Trauma-Tinted Lens

    0:48
    1:06
    1:28
    1:37
    1:55
    2:05
    3

    The Neurobiology of Negative Bias

    2:19
    2:35
    2:50
    1:37
    3:11
    1:06
    3:39
    3:53
    4

    The Memory Distortion Effect

    4:09
    4:23
    4:46
    4:55
    5:14
    1:37
    5:37
    1:06
    5

    The Emotional Dysregulation Spiral

    6:09
    6:22
    6:40
    1:37
    7:14
    1:06
    7:38
    7:47
    6

    The Trust and Intimacy Paradox

    8:03
    8:20
    8:38
    1:37
    9:07
    9:20
    9:31
    1:06
    7

    The Abandonment Terror Connection

    9:55
    10:09
    10:28
    1:37
    10:53
    10:59
    11:09
    1:06
    11:37
    1:37
    8

    The Splitting Phenomenon

    8:03
    2:35
    12:30
    1:37
    12:55
    1:06
    13:20
    1:37
    9

    The Hypervigilance Trap

    13:45
    13:58
    14:19
    1:06
    14:42
    1:37
    15:06
    1:06
    15:26
    7:47
    10

    Breaking the Cycle: Awareness and Healing

    15:54
    16:08
    16:26
    1:06
    16:45
    16:51
    17:08
    17:13
    17:29
    17:45
    11

    Practical Strategies for Daily Life

    17:58
    18:09
    18:26
    1:06
    18:48
    18:54
    19:11
    19:22
    19:34
    19:40
    12

    The Ripple Effects: How Healing Transforms Relationships

    19:55
    20:09
    20:23
    20:25
    20:40
    1:06
    20:58
    21:05
    21:17
    1:06
    21:34
    21:42
    13

    Closing Reflections: The Path Forward

    21:59
    22:09
    22:23
    1:37
    22:44
    22:49
    23:05
    1:06
    23:31
    23:44
    23:54
    1:06
    24:22
    24:40
    24:52
    25:07

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