Building Confidence is a Skill You Can Learn

Lena: Hey everyone, welcome back to the Real English channel! We are so glad you’re here with us today. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode. You know, Eli, I was thinking about how many people feel like their words just get stuck when they try to speak English.

Eli: It’s so common, Lena. People often think they’re just "not a confident person," but it’s actually a learnable skill. It’s interesting how we sometimes tone ourselves down for people who weren't even meant to understand us, and that really takes a toll on our self-esteem.

Lena: Exactly! And I love the idea that confidence is like a tree you have to water every single day with small habits. It’s not about a "fake" version of yourself you see online; it's about building real security.

Eli: Right, and today we’re going to look at how to stop letting insecurities rule your life and start playing a bigger game. Let’s dive into the specific habits that can help you speak clearly and feel powerful in any situation.

Lena: It is so true, Eli—that idea of watering the tree of confidence every day. But I think for a lot of our listeners, the struggle is that they feel like they are starting with a tiny sapling while everyone else has these massive, ancient oaks. They see someone speaking English fluently or leading a meeting with total ease and think, "I just wasn't born with that engine."

Eli: That is the biggest myth out there, Lena! I was reading some fascinating material from *The Self Rise* editor, and they call confidence the "invisible engine" behind every success story. But here is the kicker: it is a skill, not a birthright. It is like a muscle. If you do not put it under resistance, it does not grow. You cannot just wish for bigger biceps—you have to lift the weights. And in 2026, with everything being so digital and fast-paced, that "resistance" usually looks like social interaction.

Lena: I love that analogy. So, if we are looking at this like a "confidence gym," what is the first piece of equipment we need to understand? Because sometimes the "weights" feel way too heavy to even lift.

Eli: Well, before you even touch the weights, you have to understand the "plumbing" of how you feel. There is this really influential idea called sociometer theory. It suggests that your self-esteem isn't some objective verdict on your worth as a human being. Instead, it is more like a social instrument panel. It evolved to give us a constant readout of where we stand with our "tribe." Back in the day, being excluded from the group was an existential threat, so our brains developed this ultra-sensitive sensor to track acceptance and rejection.

Lena: So, when we feel that pit in our stomach before a presentation or a conversation in English, it is just our "instrument panel" flashing a warning light? It is not actually saying we are incompetent?

Eli: Exactly! It is feedback, not a diagnosis. And as Dr. T. Alexander Puutio points out, feedback is something we can actually work with. The problem is that in 2026, our "instrument panels" are getting totally haywire readings because of social media. We are benchmarking ourselves against the top one percent of the entire planet instead of our actual peers. It is like trying to calibrate a thermometer in a room that is literally on fire—you are going to get a distorted reading every time.

Lena: That makes so much sense. We see the "highlight reels" of influencers or CEOs and our brain goes, "Oh no, I am at the bottom of the tribe, I am in danger!" No wonder we feel anxious.

Eli: Right. And that anxiety isn't just in your head—it is a full-body experience. When we anticipate negative judgment, our bodies respond with physical symptoms—increased heart rate, sweating, muscle tension. This is what *Feeling Good Psychotherapy* highlights: we notice these sensations, and then we use them as "evidence" that something is wrong. We think, "My heart is racing, so I must be failing," which then creates a loop that reinforces the fear.

Lena: So the "engine" stalls because we are misinterpreting the gauges. How do we start fixing the wiring?

Eli: It starts with redefining what confidence actually is. Most people think it is the absence of fear. They wait until they "feel ready" to speak up or take a risk. But high achievers know that readiness is actually a byproduct of doing. Real confidence is taking action in the face of uncertainty. It is being courageous rather than being perfect. If you wait until the fear is gone, you will be waiting forever. You have to start before you are ready.

Lena: That is a huge shift. It is almost like saying the "engine" does not need to be silent to work—it can roar and rattle a bit, as long as it keeps moving the car forward.

Eli: Precisely! And once you realize that everyone else's engine is probably rattling too, it takes so much of the pressure off. We are all just navigating the same digital-first landscape, trying to keep our "instrument panels" calibrated to reality rather than the fantasy we see on our screens.

Lena: You mentioned the "wiring" earlier, Eli, and it makes me think about that inner voice—the one that starts talking the second things get difficult. I know I have one. It is that narrator in my head that says, "Lena, you are going to stumble over your words and everyone will think you do not know what you are talking about."

Eli: Oh, we all have that narrator, Lena! And the neuroscience behind it is actually pretty wild. Think of your brain like a forest. Every time you have a thought, you are walking a path through that forest. If you repeat that thought over and over—like "I am not good enough" or "My English is terrible"—you are basically paving a high-speed highway. Your brain loves efficiency, so it is always going to take the most practiced route. That is why negative self-talk feels so automatic.

Lena: So it is not that I *am* those things, it is just that my brain has built a really efficient highway for those specific thoughts?

Eli: Exactly! Dr. Sydney Ceruto talks about this in terms of "learned circuits." These are not permanent fixtures in your brain; they are just patterns that have been reinforced. There is a principle called Hebb's Law—"neurons that fire together, wire together." If your "critic" neurons fire every time you speak English, they become a tightly knit team. But the amazing thing about neuroplasticity—which is the brain's ability to reorganize itself—is that those circuits can be relearned.

Lena: That is so encouraging. But it feels like that critic has a lot of power. Why is it so loud?

Eli: It is often a hijacked neural pathway. Sometimes that voice is actually an internalized version of someone else—a critical parent, a tough teacher, or even a cultural expectation. In many cultures, like the one Savina Anastasaki works with in Greece, there is a huge emphasis on family opinion and community standing. If you grow up feeling like love is conditional on your achievement, your brain builds a "perfectionist" highway to try and keep you safe from rejection.

Lena: So the critic thinks it is helping? It is trying to prevent us from being "kicked out of the tribe" by making sure we never make a mistake?

Eli: Spot on. It is an overprotective security guard. But here is where it gets interesting: research shows that this "guard" actually impairs the very parts of the brain we need to succeed. When the amygdala—the threat-detection center—gets hyperactive because of that inner critic, it actually shuts down the prefrontal cortex. That is the part of your brain responsible for rational thinking, problem-solving, and even language processing.

Lena: Wait, so the more I criticize myself for my English, the harder it actually becomes for my brain to *process* English?

Eli: Literally! You are starving your "thinking brain" of resources because your "fear brain" is hogging all the energy. Neuroimaging studies show that people with high emotional dysregulation have about 60% greater amygdala activation when looking at neutral stimuli. Their brain is literally seeing "threats" where there are none. This triggers cortisol and norepinephrine, which makes your thinking feel "muddy."

Lena: So, if we want to be more confident, we have to find a way to quiet that security guard so the "thinking brain" can actually do its job. How do we even start to "pave a new highway" when the old one is so well-used?

Eli: It starts with awareness. You cannot change a path you do not know you are walking. One technique from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is identifying "cognitive distortions." These are like "glitches" in your software. Things like "mind reading"—assuming you know what people are thinking—or "catastrophizing"—imagining the worst possible outcome. When you catch yourself doing this, you are engaging the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex. That is the part of the brain that handles deliberate reasoning.

Lena: So just by *noticing* the thought, I am already starting to switch the power from the "fear brain" to the "thinking brain"?

Eli: Precisely. You are putting a "speed bump" on that negative highway. And if you do that consistently, something called "synaptic pruning" starts to happen. Your brain is efficient—if it realizes a pathway isn't being used as much, it starts to break it down to save energy. It is like letting a trail in the woods grow over because you have started walking a new, better path. It takes time, but the physical structure of your brain actually changes.

Lena: I love the idea of "synaptic pruning"—letting those old, negative paths just grow over. But Eli, when I am in the middle of a conversation and I feel that "highway" of self-doubt opening up, it is hard to just "notice" it. It feels so real! How do we actually argue with a thought that feels like a fact?

Eli: That is the big challenge, right? The brain is a "prediction machine," and it treats these repeated thoughts like objective reality. But you have to remember: your brain isn't always your friend. It is often just repeating old programming. One of the best ways to break that spell is what they call "Cognitive Reframing." Think of it like being a lawyer for your own defense. You have to look for actual evidence.

Lena: Okay, so if my thought is "Everyone thinks my English is terrible and they are judging me," how do I "lawyer" that?

Eli: You use the "Friend Test" from *The Self Rise* guide. Ask yourself: "Would I ever say this to a best friend?" If your friend was struggling with a word, would you tell them they are incompetent and should just stop talking?

Lena: Of course not! I would tell them they are doing great and that learning a language is hard work.

Eli: Exactly. So why is it okay to say it to yourself? Another powerful "brain hack" is using third-person self-talk. Instead of saying "I am failing," say "Lena is feeling challenged right now, but she has the skills to recover." Research from the University of Michigan shows that referring to yourself by name creates "psychological distance." It moves you from that "reactive brain" into a "coaching brain." It literally activates areas of the prefrontal cortex involved in emotional regulation.

Lena: That is wild. So just by changing the "I" to "Lena," I can actually calm my nervous system down?

Eli: It sounds simple, but it is backed by neuroscience. You are essentially stepping out of the "storm" of your emotions and looking at it from the outside. And once you have that distance, you can start the "ABCDE method" of restructuring. You identify the Adversity—the situation. You notice your Beliefs—the automatic thoughts. You look at the Consequences—how those thoughts make you feel. Then comes the most important part: Disputation. You challenge those beliefs. You ask, "Is this 100% true? Is it helpful? What is a more balanced version?"

Lena: So a "balanced version" might be, "I am still learning, and even if I make a mistake, I can still get my point across."

Eli: Exactly! And the final step is Energization—noticing how that new, more accurate thought actually changes your energy. You might feel a little less tense, a little more capable. And here is a pro tip: pair that new self-talk with movement. If you are an athlete or even just walking to a meeting, repeating a grounded phrase like "I am capable" or "I can handle this" while your body is in motion helps the brain form those new connections faster. Movement plus repetition is like "super-glue" for your neural pathways.

Lena: I have heard people talk about "positive affirmations" before, but this sounds different. It sounds more... grounded in reality?

Eli: That is a crucial distinction, Lena. "Positive thinking" often asks you to believe something optimistic regardless of the facts—like "I am the best English speaker in the world." Your brain has a "lie detector," and it will reject that if it knows it isn't true. But "Cognitive Restructuring" is about accuracy. It is about what the evidence actually supports. Your brain sustains changes built on accuracy, not just wishful thinking.

Lena: So it is not about "faking it until you make it." It is about "training it until you gain it."

Eli: I love that! And it really is training. Every time you catch a "cognitive distortion"—like "all-or-nothing thinking" or "fortune telling"—and you replace it with a balanced thought, you are doing a "rep" for your prefrontal cortex. You are strengthening that "cognitive highway." And over 8 to 12 weeks of consistent practice, neuroimaging studies show that the gray matter density in your prefrontal cortex can actually increase by about 8%. You are literally building a bigger, stronger "thinking brain."

Lena: That is amazing. It makes me feel like I am in control of my own "software updates."

Eli: You totally are! And as you get better at these "updates," you start to notice that the "fear brain" doesn't get to run the show as much. You are building "emotional granularity"—the ability to distinguish between a "threat" and just a "challenging situation." That is the foundation of real, lasting confidence.

Lena: We have talked about the "inner work"—the reframing and the highways in our brain. But I think for a lot of people, they want to *see* the results. They want to feel that "engine" actually moving them forward. How do we take these mental shifts and turn them into real-world momentum?

Eli: This is where the concept of "Micro-Wins" comes in. Think of it like building a "proof portfolio" for your brain. Your brain is a "learning machine," and it updates its self-concept based on evidence. If you tell yourself "I am a confident speaker," but you never actually speak, your brain isn't going to believe you. But if you have a list of small things you *actually* did, that is hard for the inner critic to argue with.

Lena: So, instead of trying to give a huge speech on day one, I should look for tiny victories?

Eli: Exactly. In the tech world, they talk about "failing fast" to find bugs. You can do the same thing with confidence. Set three tiny goals every morning. It could be as simple as drinking two liters of water, or asking one clarifying question in a meeting, or even just making eye contact with the cashier and saying "Have a great day." Every time you check one of those boxes, your brain releases a hit of dopamine.

Lena: And dopamine is the reward chemical, right? It makes us want to do it again?

Eli: Right! It reinforces the belief that "I am someone who gets things done." It creates momentum. And you can take this even further with something called "Systematic Desensitization"—or what I like to call the "Comfort Zone Trap." Growth and comfort cannot coexist. To build that "confidence muscle," you have to voluntarily expose yourself to "micro-discomforts."

Lena: Okay, give me an example. What does a "micro-discomfort" look like?

Eli: It is like a hierarchy. Level 1 might be ordering a coffee you have never tried, or using a new English phrase in a low-stakes conversation. Level 2 could be asking a question during a webinar. Level 3 might be leading a small project. By the time you get to Level 3, the things that used to terrify you—like Level 1—will feel like routine tasks. You are "desensitizing" your amygdala to the fear.

Lena: It is like training for a marathon, starting with just a walk around the block.

Eli: Precisely. And while you are doing this, you have to stop the "Comparison Trap." In 2026, social media makes it so easy to compare our "behind-the-scenes" with everyone else's "highlight reel." That is a recipe for low self-esteem. You have to switch your focus from being "competitive"—how do I rank against them?—to being "creative"—how do I rank against yesterday's version of me?

Lena: I love that. "Creative vs. Competitive." It makes it about my own journey rather than a race I can never win.

Eli: And to keep that journey going, you have to audit your social circle. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If your "inner circle" is full of people who criticize or complain, your confidence is going to wither. You need to find "balcony people"—the ones who cheer you on—rather than "basement people" who pull you down. Especially when you are learning a new language or skill, you need a support system that sees your worth.

Lena: That can be tough, especially if those "basement people" are family or long-term friends.

Eli: It is a real challenge, Lena. In some cultures, family obligations are huge. But as Savina Anastasaki points out, setting boundaries is actually a way of teaching people how to respect you. It is also how you teach *yourself* that your needs and your growth matter. Saying "no" to something that drains you is a "micro-win" for your self-respect.

Lena: So, every time I set a boundary, or complete a tiny goal, or choose a "balcony person" over a "basement person," I am adding a page to my "proof portfolio."

Eli: Exactly. And over time, that portfolio becomes so thick that the inner critic just can't keep up. You are building "competence," and as the saying goes, "competence breeds confidence." You are giving your brain the evidence it needs to finally believe that you *are* capable, you *are* worthy, and you *can* handle whatever comes next.

Lena: We have covered the mind and the actions, but what about the *body*? I know when I am nervous, my voice gets shaky, my hands sweat—it is like my body is betraying me before I even open my mouth! Is there a way to get the body on our side?

Eli: Your physiology actually dictates your psychology, Lena! It is called "embodied cognition." Your brain is constantly "reading" your body to see how it should feel. If you are hunched over, breathing shallowly, and avoiding eye contact, your brain thinks, "Oh, we must be in danger! Let's release some cortisol." But you can actually reverse-engineer that.

Lena: Like a "Power Move"? I have heard of those!

Eli: Yes! Before a big meeting or a challenging conversation, try standing with your feet shoulder-width apart and your hands on your hips for just two minutes. Research shows this can actually lower your cortisol levels and increase your "confidence hormones." It signals to your brain—and everyone else—that you are present and secure. Even something as small as holding eye contact for just one second longer than usual during a conversation can shift your internal state.

Lena: It is like "faking" the body signals to trick the brain into feeling confident?

Eli: It is more like giving your brain a better set of data to work with. Another huge one is your breathing. When we are anxious, our breathing becomes shallow and rapid. This "danger signal" keeps the amygdala in a state of high alert. But if you practice "diaphragmatic breathing"—where your belly expands more than your chest—you actually activate your parasympathetic nervous system. That is your "rest and digest" mode. It is the literal "off switch" for the fight-or-flight response.

Lena: I have tried that, and it really does help. But what about the voice itself? When I am nervous, my English just feels... clumsy.

Eli: That is often because we are speaking too quickly. Speaking fast is a classic sign of nervousness—it is like your brain is trying to "escape" the conversation as fast as possible. If you can consciously slow down and vary your tone, you not only sound more confident, but you actually *feel* more in control. It is about matching the energy of the room rather than letting your anxiety drive the pace.

Lena: And what about those "shaky hands" or the "butterflies"? Do we just try to ignore them?

Eli: Actually, the best thing you can do is acknowledge them without judgment. It is called "present-moment awareness." If your heart is racing, you can just say to yourself, "I notice my heart is beating quickly right now." This simple act of labeling the sensation reduces the "secondary anxiety"—the fear *of* the fear. It prevents the physical symptoms from spiraling into a full-blown panic.

Lena: So, instead of fighting the butterflies, I am just... watching them fly?

Eli: Exactly! And you can anchor yourself in the present using the "5-4-3-2-1 technique." Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This rapidly shifts your focus from your "internal worry" to the "external reality." It "grounds" you in the here and now, where the actual conversation is happening.

Lena: That is so practical. I can do that anywhere, and no one even has to know I am doing it.

Eli: That is the beauty of it. And while you are grounded, you can practice "mindful listening." Instead of focusing on your own performance—"Am I using the right grammar? Do I sound okay?"—you focus completely on the other person. Listen to understand, not just to respond. When you are genuinely curious about someone else, your own self-consciousness naturally fades away. You are moving from "self-focus" to "connection-focus."

Lena: That feels like such a relief. If I am focused on *them*, I don't have time to worry about *me*.

Eli: Right! And that is where real social confidence lives. It is not about being the loudest person in the room; it is about being the most present. When you combine those physical grounding techniques with a genuine interest in others, your "confidence engine" starts to run much more smoothly. You are no longer fighting your own body—you are using it as a tool for connection.

Lena: Okay, Eli, we have our "power moves," our "micro-wins," and our "thinking brain" is in the driver's seat. But let's be real: at some point, we *are* going to mess up. I am going to forget a word in English, or I am going to say something that feels totally awkward. What then? Does the "engine" just break down?

Eli: This is where the "socially confident" people really separate themselves from the "socially anxious" ones. It is not that confident people never have awkward moments—it is that they know how to recover gracefully. They don't let one "glitch" define the whole interaction. They treat awkwardness like a normal part of being human, because it is!

Lena: So, what do we do when that "lul" in the conversation happens and it feels like everyone is staring at us?

Eli: First, resist the urge to fill the silence with nervous chatter. A brief pause is actually normal! It gives everyone time to think. You can even acknowledge it with a bit of humor—like, "Well, this is one of those 'comfortable silences' I have heard about." Humor is a fantastic "circuit breaker" for social tension. It signals that you are not taking the situation—or yourself—too seriously.

Lena: And what if I actually make a mistake? Like, I use the wrong tense or I totally draw a blank on someone's name?

Eli: Handle it directly. If you pretend it didn't happen, it creates this "elephant in the room" that just builds more tension. Instead, just say, "I am drawing a blank on your name—could you remind me?" or "I just realized that might have sounded different than I intended." Most people actually appreciate that kind of honesty. It makes you feel more "human" and relatable.

Lena: That is a huge relief. I always thought I had to be perfect to be confident, but you are saying that being "imperfectly honest" is actually a sign of confidence?

Eli: Absolutely! Arrogance is trying to appear better than everyone else. True self-esteem is walking into a room and not needing to compare yourself to anyone at all. It is the ability to make a mistake without spiraling into "self-hatred." It is realizing that a rejected proposal or a clumsy sentence isn't a sign that you are incompetent—it is just data. Feedback that helps you improve the next one.

Lena: So, "Failure is Feedback." I love that mindset shift. It makes everything feel like an experiment rather than a final exam.

Eli: Exactly! In the tech world, they "fail fast" to find the bugs. You can "socially fail fast" to find your voice. Every awkward moment is just an opportunity to practice your "recovery skills." And the more you do it, the less you fear it. You start to realize that the "worst-case scenario" in your head—everyone laughing at you and you losing your job—almost never actually happens.

Lena: It is like that "Fortune Telling" distortion we talked about earlier. We are predicting a disaster that hasn't happened.

Eli: Right. And when you stop fearing the "disaster," you become unstoppable. You can take bigger risks, have deeper conversations, and show up as your authentic self. You are no longer "performing" for others' approval; you are just being yourself. And ironically, that is exactly what people find most attractive and confident.

Lena: So, the goal isn't to *never* be awkward—it is to be *okay* with being awkward.

Eli: You hit the nail on the head, Lena. Social confidence grows when you realize that everyone is just as worried about being perceived as you are. Most people are so focused on their own "instrument panel" that they aren't even scrutinizing yours. Once you internalize that, the "engine" really starts to hum. You are no longer driving with the handbrake on.

Lena: We have covered so much ground today, Eli! From the "neuro-forest" in our brains to "power moves" and "micro-wins." It is a lot to take in. For our listeners who are ready to start their own "confidence gym" today, how do they put this all into a practical playbook?

Eli: It is all about "Small, Consistent Action." You do not need to overhaul your entire life tomorrow. In fact, trying to do too much at once is a classic way to trigger that "fear brain" and stall out. Instead, choose just one or two strategies to focus on this week.

Lena: Okay, let's break it down. What would a "Week One" playbook look like?

Eli: Start with "Awareness." For one day, just notice your self-talk. Don't even try to change it—just notice. When do you use words like "always" or "never"? When do you "mind read"? Write down the harshest things you say to yourself and ask, "Would I say this to a friend?" That is your "Baseline Update."

Lena: And what about a "Body Move" for Week One?

Eli: Practice "Diaphragmatic Breathing" for five minutes every morning. Get your body used to that "calm signal" before the day even starts. And if you have a meeting or a call, try the "Power Move" in private before you start. Two minutes of standing tall can change your whole neurochemistry.

Lena: I like that. Awareness and Breathing. What about a "Micro-Win"?

Eli: Set a "Social Goal." It could be as simple as saying "hello" to three people you usually walk past, or asking one "open-ended question" in a meeting—something like "How has your week been treating you?" rather than just "How are you?" Remember, every time you hit the ball back in "conversation tennis," you are building that skill.

Lena: And if things get awkward?

Eli: Have your "Recovery Phrase" ready. Something like, "I am still working on my English, thanks for being patient," or "Well, that was a fun awkward silence!" Having a "pre-planned response" takes the pressure off your "thinking brain" when things get tense.

Lena: That feels so manageable. It is like we are building our own "confidence toolkit" piece by piece.

Eli: Exactly. And as you move into Week Two and Three, you can start your "Exposure Hierarchy." Rank your social fears from 1 to 10 and start tackling the "2s" and "3s." Success with those lower-level fears builds the "evidence" your brain needs to handle the "7s" and "8s" later on.

Lena: And we should probably keep track of this, right? Like a "Confidence Log"?

Eli: Yes! Monitoring your progress is huge for motivation. Note your anxiety level before and after an interaction, what technique you used, and what you learned. You will start to see patterns—certain strategies will work better for you than others. And celebrate those "Small Victories"! If you spoke up in a meeting, even if your voice was a little shaky, that is a win. Acknowledge it.

Lena: This is so different from the "fake it 'til you make it" advice. It feels like we are actually *building* something real.

Eli: Because we are, Lena. We are rewriting the "story" we tell ourselves. We are pruning the old, negative neural pathways and paving new, supportive ones. It is a continuous journey of self-discovery. And remember, setbacks are normal! If you have a "bad confidence day," don't beat yourself up. Just use your "self-compassion" tools—treat yourself like a friend—and get back to your "micro-wins" tomorrow.

Lena: "Progress, not Perfection." That is the ultimate goal.

Eli: Precisely. Your "confidence engine" is a work in progress, and that is okay. As long as you keep watering that tree with small habits, it *will* grow. You have all the tools you need—now you just have to start using them.

Lena: Eli, I feel like I have a completely different perspective on confidence now. It is not this "magic spark" that some people are born with—it is more like a set of tools and habits that anyone can learn.

Eli: That is the most important takeaway, Lena. Whether you are navigating an AI-driven workplace in 2026 or just trying to feel more comfortable in your own skin, your ability to project confidence is a learnable skill. It is about removing those layers of shame and fear that are covering up who you already are.

Lena: I love that idea—that we are already "enough," and we are just learning how to let that show. It reminds me of what Savina Anastasaki said: "You deserve to look in the mirror and genuinely like the person looking back."

Eli: It is a powerful thought. And as we wrap things up today, I want to leave our listeners with one question to reflect on: What is one "micro-win" you can achieve today to start building your own "proof portfolio"? Maybe it is just being a little kinder to yourself when you make a mistake, or taking that one small social risk you have been avoiding.

Lena: I am going to try the "third-person self-talk" next time I feel nervous! I think "Lena" could use a good coach.

Eli: Haha, I think "Lena" is going to do great! And to everyone listening, thank you so much for joining us on the Real English channel today. We hope these strategies give you the "fuel" you need for your own "confidence engine."

Lena: Remember, change doesn't start with perfection—it starts with awareness and a gentler conversation with yourself. Take one tiny step today, and your future self will thank you for it.

Eli: Absolutely. We really appreciate you spending your time with us. It is a journey, and we are so glad to be a part of yours.

Lena: Take care of yourselves, keep practicing those "micro-wins," and we will see you... well, we won't see you, but you know what I mean! Keep building that confidence!

Eli: You've got this. Thanks for listening, everyone!