18:12 Lena: Alright, I think we need to get really concrete here. Because all of this theory is great, but when you're in the moment—when someone just took credit for your idea or when you're feeling that spike of jealousy—you need actual words and actions.
18:27 Blythe: Yes! Let's run through some real scenarios. First one—you're in a meeting and a female colleague presents an idea that's very similar to something you've been working on, and she gets all the praise. What do you do?
18:40 Lena: Okay, my gut reaction would probably be to feel angry and want to point out that I had that idea first.
18:47 Blythe: Totally normal reaction. But here's your reframe opportunity. Instead of "she stole my idea," try "great minds think alike" or "I'm excited someone else sees the potential in this approach." Then, instead of competing for credit, you can build on the idea publicly.
19:04 Lena: So you might say something like "I love that Sarah brought this up—I've been exploring something similar, and I think there's real potential here. What if we combined our approaches?"
19:15 Blythe: Perfect! Now you're collaborating instead of competing, and you've established your own involvement without diminishing hers. Plus, you might end up with a better solution than either of you would have developed alone.
19:27 Lena: Okay, what about this scenario—you're at a networking event and another woman in your field seems to be monopolizing the conversation with the person you wanted to connect with.
19:38 Blythe: This is where abundance thinking really pays off. Instead of seeing her as blocking your access, see her as potentially expanding your network. You could approach them both and say something like "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation about X—I'd love to hear more about your perspective on that."
19:54 Lena: So you're inserting yourself into the conversation rather than competing for exclusive access.
1:10 Blythe: Exactly. And often, you'll find that the other woman is actually happy to include you. Women who are secure and collaborative love bringing other women into valuable conversations.
20:11 Lena: What if she's clearly not interested in sharing the spotlight?
20:15 Blythe: Then you have information about her, and you can choose how to respond. You might decide to gracefully exit and connect with that person later. Or you might stay and genuinely listen, learning something valuable even if you don't get to showcase yourself in that moment.
20:30 Blythe: The key is not taking it personally. Her behavior is about her insecurities or competitive programming—it's not actually about you.
20:40 Lena: Here's a tough one—what if you're genuinely in competition with another woman for a promotion or opportunity, and you can feel the tension affecting your relationship?
20:51 Blythe: This is where you can actually address it directly. You might say something like "I know we're both being considered for this role, and I don't want that to affect our working relationship. How do we want to handle this?"
21:03 Lena: That seems so vulnerable and mature.
21:06 Blythe: It is, but it often defuses so much tension. You might agree to share information about the process, or commit to supporting whoever gets the role, or just acknowledge that you're both going to do your best without any weirdness between you.
21:20 Lena: And what if the other person isn't interested in that kind of mature conversation?
21:24 Blythe: Then you focus on your own behavior. You can decide to be the person who competes with integrity, who doesn't engage in gossip or undermining tactics, who celebrates the winner regardless of who it is.
21:37 Blythe: Here's the thing—when you consistently behave this way, you build a reputation as someone who's secure and collaborative. That reputation often opens more doors than any individual competitive win would.
21:49 Lena: What about dealing with women who seem committed to competitive dynamics? Like, what if someone is consistently trying to one-up you or undermine you?
21:58 Blythe: First, don't take the bait. If someone is trying to engage you in competition, you can simply refuse to play. Stay focused on your own goals and performance rather than getting drawn into their game.
22:11 Lena: How do you refuse to play without seeming weak or disengaged?
22:15 Blythe: You can be confident and kind at the same time. If someone makes a competitive comment, you might respond with genuine curiosity—"That's an interesting perspective" or "I'd love to hear more about your approach." You're not competing, but you're not backing down either.
22:30 Blythe: And sometimes, the most powerful response is to actively support them. If someone is clearly insecure and trying to compete, responding with genuine praise or encouragement can completely shift the dynamic.
22:44 Lena: That takes a lot of emotional maturity.
22:47 Blythe: It does, but it's also incredibly powerful. When you respond to competition with collaboration, you often inspire the other person to rise to your level rather than trying to drag you down to theirs.