Secrets of Power Negotiating: Inside Secrets from a Master Negotiator

Secrets of Power Negotiating 요약

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   The Secret Language of Getting What You Want

   

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   A car salesman once told me his biggest fear wasn't losing a deal - it was closing one too easily. "When someone accepts my first offer without pushback," he confessed, "I know I've left thousands on the table." This paradox sits at the heart of negotiation: the easier something feels, the worse you've probably done. Roger Dawson's "Secrets of Power Negotiating" has become the definitive guide for millions precisely because it reveals what most of us get backward about negotiation. We think it's about being tough, when it's actually about being strategic. We believe it's confrontational, when the best negotiations feel like collaboration. And we assume natural-born dealmakers possess some mysterious talent, when in reality they're simply following patterns anyone can learn. Whether you're asking your boss for a raise, buying a house, or convincing your teenager to clean their room, you're negotiating constantly - and doing it poorly costs you far more than you realize.

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   Opening Moves: Start High and React Dramatically

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   Ever heard an immediate yes to your offer? That sinking feeling signals money left on the table. Power Negotiators always open with their Maximum Plausible Position-the highest credible amount they can request. If you want $5,000 and the buyer opens at $3,000, counter at $7,000. This positions your desired price in the middle, making it the natural landing spot when you "split the difference." One software company started at "reasonable" prices while competitors opened 40% higher and still closed deals. By adjusting upward, they added millions without losing customers. Starting high creates negotiating room, prevents leaving money on the table, and increases perceived value. You can always come down but never go up-giving you space to make concessions that cost nothing while making the other side feel victorious. Picture a wine steward presenting a bottle. The customer recoils-eyebrows raised, backward movement, sharp breath. Without words, the steward drops the price by $5. This flinch can save thousands. A speaker offered $1,500 flinched and said he couldn't possibly accept that. The director immediately raised it to $2,500-an extra $1,000 in fifteen seconds. Practice until natural: raised eyebrows, sharp breath, slight backward movement. It works across cultures, earning concessions before real negotiation begins.

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   The Psychology of Acceptance and Resistance

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   Quick acceptance triggers two thoughts: "I could have done better" and "Something's wrong." After buying land below market value, I obsessed over whether I could have paid less. When a magazine salesman dropped from $2,000 to $800, I countered at $500 using "higher authority." His immediate acceptance left me feeling cheated despite a 75% discount. We form mental pictures of how negotiations should unfold. When they're too easy, suspicion follows. A car seller accepting your lowball offer triggers worry about the vehicle's condition, not celebration. The solution feels unnatural but works: even when receiving an excellent offer, express reluctance. Take time to consider it. Ask for small additional concessions. This satisfies the other party's psychological need for the negotiation "dance" and prevents buyer's remorse. Approximately 70% of people are visual negotiators-they believe what they see more than what they hear. Your physical reaction sends messages words cannot convey.

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   Building Collaboration Through Language and Multiple Issues

   Your opening words set the negotiation climate. Most negotiations fail by starting with confrontation. Attorneys often open with threats: "If you don't settle, we'll tie you up in court for years." This triggers resistance - people naturally push back when pushed. Instead, use the Feel, Felt, Found formula: "I understand exactly how you feel about that. Many others have felt the same way. But what we've found is..." This diffuses competition by agreeing rather than arguing. If a buyer says your price is too high, respond: "I understand how you feel. Others felt the same way, but they found we offer the best value in the marketplace." Win-win solutions require multiple negotiable issues. Single-issue negotiations create winners and losers. Multiple elements enable trade-offs satisfying both parties. Reagan's administration broke a Cold War deadlock over exchanging a Soviet spy for an American journalist by adding the release of Russian dissidents - allowing both sides to claim victory. Ask not "what can I get from them?" but "what can I give them that won't diminish my position?" When you give people what they want, they'll give you what you want.

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   Strategic Authority and the Art of Concessions

   When someone claims they lack decision-making authority, recognize this as their tactical disadvantage. Complete authority means they only need to convince you; needing approval means you must make your offer compelling enough for them to champion upward. Counter with: "Can you make this decision today if our proposal meets your needs?" If approval is still required, appeal to their ego ("You seem influential there"), secure commitment ("If I meet your needs, will you recommend this?"), and use the qualified close ("Let's agree on terms subject to final approval"). Master the Trade-Off Gambit: whenever they request a concession, automatically ask for something in return-"If we can do that for you, what can you do for us?" This prevents them from grinding you down. Even when eager to grant a request, still ask for something; they might offer increased deposits, early payment, or future business. When making concessions, avoid equal-sized reductions that encourage continued pushing. Start with a reasonable concession that might close the deal, then make progressively smaller ones to signal you're reaching your limit.

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   Mastering Time, Information, and Walk-Away Power

   Time creates tremendous negotiation pressure. Vilfredo Pareto's 80/20 principle reveals that 80% of concessions occur in the last 20% of available time. Vietnamese negotiators exploited this during the 1968 Paris peace talks, deliberately wasting weeks discussing table shapes while Americans faced election deadlines. Never reveal your deadlines - the other side will delay substantive negotiations until your time runs short. Power Negotiators disregard sunk costs and evaluate deals based on current terms, not past investment. Information power is equally critical. Gather intelligence by admitting what you don't know, asking direct questions, using open-ended questions, and talking to people who've done business with them before. Walk-Away power is most potent. The moment you think "I must have this," you surrender leverage. Develop Walk-Away power by creating alternatives. Before making an offer on your dream home, find two others you'd like equally well. The side with the most options has the most power - not because you'll actually leave, but because having alternatives makes walking away viable.

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   The Win-Win Philosophy: Everyone Leaves Happy

   Successful negotiation isn't about domination - it's about achieving wins for both sides. People give you what you want when you give them what they want. The key is avoiding single-issue negotiations. When only price remains, someone must lose. By keeping multiple issues on the table - quality, delivery timing, payment terms, financial strength - you create trade-offs that satisfy everyone. Don't be too greedy. One acquisition collapsed when the buyer, after hard negotiation, requested new tires on a pickup truck. This small demand pushed the frustrated seller over the edge. Instead, put something back after negotiation concludes. Give extra service or care beyond requirements. These little extras they didn't negotiate for often mean more than everything they did. Five benchmarks indicate success: everyone feels like a winner, both sides care about the other's objectives, the process was fair and enjoyable, and both eagerly follow the agreement. Remember the Power Negotiators' Creed: "The most important thought is not 'what can I get them to give me?' but 'what can I give them that wouldn't take away from my position but may be of value to them?'"

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