Feedback
Why We Hate It, How to Fix It
Overview of Feedback
Transform your dreaded feedback moments into powerful growth catalysts. "Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)" revolutionizes workplace culture by redefining how we give and receive input. Business leaders praise its practical strategies for making feedback focused, fair, and frequent - the three Fs that turn criticism into opportunity.
Key Themes in Feedback
- psychological safety
- performance management reform
- growth mindset culture
- amygdala hijack
- workplace engagement
Quotes from Feedback
Feedback has developed a terrible reputation.
We want more feedback, yet few actively seek or extend it.
Feedback should be a good thing that promotes growth.
Our brains haven't evolved as quickly as society has.
Bad is stronger than good.
Characters in Feedback
- M. Tamra ChandlerAuthor and founder of PeopleFirm
- Laura Dowling GrealishCo-author and feedback expert
- Zenger and FolkmanResearchers who studied leadership and feedback
About the Author
About the Author of Feedback
M. Tamra Chandler and Laura Dowling Grealish, authors of Feedback (and Other Dirty Words): Why We Fear It, How to Fix It, are renowned organizational performance experts specializing in workplace culture and communication. Chandler, CEO and founder of Forbes-recognized consultancy PeopleFirm, brings decades of experience advising Fortune 500 companies such as Nike and T-Mobile.
Grealish, a senior consultant at PeopleFirm, combines 20+ years of leadership development expertise with practical strategies for fostering human-centric workplaces. Their book redefines feedback as a growth tool within the business/self-help genre, introducing frameworks like the "three Fs" (focused, fair, frequent) to transform team dynamics.
Both hold MBAs (University of Washington and Pacific Lutheran University, respectively) and have contributed to performance systems used by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and Nordstrom. Published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers—a leader in impactful business literature—their work has become essential reading for managers seeking to build psychologically safe, high-performing teams. The book’s actionable scenarios and research-backed approach reflect their consultancy’s proven methods for aligning talent strategies with organizational success.
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FAQs About This Book
Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) by M. Tamra Chandler and Laura Grealish redefines feedback as a tool for growth, not criticism. The book explains why feedback triggers negative emotions, offers strategies to shift mindsets, and introduces frameworks like the "three Fs" (focused, fair, frequent) to improve workplace communication. It emphasizes creating a culture where feedback drives performance and trust.
Managers, HR professionals, and team leaders seeking to improve workplace communication will benefit most. It’s also ideal for employees wanting to reframe feedback as constructive. The book’s actionable advice on giving/receiving feedback applies to anyone in organizations prioritizing growth and collaboration.
Yes, the book provides practical tools to transform feedback from a stressor to a growth lever. It combines psychological insights with real-world examples, making it valuable for fostering agile, feedback-friendly cultures. Readers praise its actionable frameworks and relatable tone.
The authors advocate making feedback focused (specific to behaviors), fair (balanced and equitable), and frequent (ongoing, not annual). This approach reduces defensiveness and aligns feedback with continuous improvement, replacing outdated, anxiety-inducing review systems.
The book advises adopting a "receiver mindset," focusing on curiosity over defensiveness. Techniques include asking clarifying questions, separating intent from impact, and reflecting on feedback before reacting. Exercises help readers practice emotional regulation and extract actionable insights.
Chandler and Grealish define three roles: Seeker (initiates feedback), Extender (offers unsolicited insights), and Receiver (interprets and acts on feedback). Understanding these roles helps individuals navigate exchanges with empathy and purpose.
It emphasizes daily positive interactions as a foundation, ensuring feedback isn’t solely problem-focused. Leaders are urged to model vulnerability, normalize feedback as routine, and tie it to team goals. Case studies show how these practices boost engagement and performance.
Some note the strategies require organizational buy-in to implement fully, which may challenge rigid hierarchies. Others highlight its corporate focus, though the principles apply broadly. Despite this, its actionable frameworks are widely praised.
While both address feedback, Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) focuses more on overcoming psychological barriers and systemic culture shifts. Radical Candor emphasizes direct communication but offers less on emotional resilience. The two complement each other for holistic approaches.
- “Feedback needn’t be a bad thing… it’s the most effective means of improving communication.”
- “Shift from judging to understanding.”
These quotes underscore the book’s mission to reframe feedback as empowering, not punitive.
With remote work and AI-driven changes, clear communication remains critical. The book’s emphasis on agile, human-centric feedback aligns with modern needs for adaptability and psychological safety in diverse workplaces.
Chandler’s 30+ years in organizational transformation inform the book’s blend of academic rigor and real-world application. Her experience founding PeopleFirm and advising Fortune 500 companies grounds the strategies in proven results.
