What is
Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone about?
Thanks for the Feedback explores the challenges of receiving feedback and provides strategies to process evaluations, coaching, and criticism constructively. It combines neuroscience, psychology, and practical frameworks to help readers navigate feedback in professional and personal contexts, emphasizing the receiver’s role in interpreting and acting on input.
Who should read
Thanks for the Feedback?
Professionals, managers, and individuals seeking to improve communication, leadership, or personal relationships will benefit. It’s particularly valuable for those in roles requiring frequent feedback exchanges (e.g., HR, coaching) or anyone struggling with defensiveness or misinterpretation of critiques.
Is
Thanks for the Feedback worth reading?
Yes—it’s a New York Times bestseller praised for reshaping how feedback is received. The science-backed strategies and relatable examples make it essential for workplace dynamics, conflict resolution, and personal growth. Its focus on receiver education fills a gap missed by most feedback literature.
What are the three types of feedback described in the book?
The authors categorize feedback into:
- Appreciation (motivational recognition)
- Coaching (skill development)
- Evaluation (performance assessment)
Misalignment between the giver’s intent and receiver’s perception often causes conflict.
How does
Thanks for the Feedback address emotional reactions to criticism?
It identifies three “feedback triggers”:
- Truth triggers (disputing feedback’s accuracy)
- Relationship triggers (distrusting the giver)
- Identity triggers (threats to self-image)
The book offers tools to separate emotions from insights.
What framework does the book recommend for receiving feedback effectively?
Key steps include:
- Clarifying the feedback’s purpose (appreciation, coaching, or evaluation)
- Distinguishing between “what happened” and “feelings”
- Separating the feedback’s value from its delivery flaws
What is a key quote from
Thanks for the Feedback?
“Feedback is not just what happens to you—it’s how you make sense of it.” This underscores the book’s thesis that receivers control how they interpret and act on input, even when poorly delivered.
How can
Thanks for the Feedback help in workplace settings?
It provides tactics for managers to reduce defensiveness during reviews, helps teams normalize constructive criticism, and teaches employees to extract actionable insights from ambiguous feedback (e.g., “You need to be more proactive”).
What are common criticisms of
Thanks for the Feedback?
Some reviewers note the concepts require significant self-awareness to implement and argue the book occasionally overcomplicates feedback dynamics with jargon. However, most praise its actionable strategies.
How does
Thanks for the Feedback compare to the authors’ previous book,
Difficult Conversations?
While Difficult Conversations focuses on navigating tough talks, this book zeroes in on the receiver’s role. Both emphasize mutual understanding, but Thanks for the Feedback offers more tools for internal reflection and emotional regulation.
Why is
Thanks for the Feedback relevant in 2025?
As remote work and AI-driven performance tools expand, receiving asynchronous or algorithm-generated feedback demands new skills. The book’s principles help filter signal from noise in modern communication channels.
What credentials do Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen bring to this topic?
Stone (Harvard Law lecturer, Triad Consulting founder) and Heen (negotiation expert) draw on 30+ years of organizational consulting. Their work with companies like Microsoft and the WHO informs the book’s real-world applicability.