Stop Checking Your Likes by Susie Moore Summary

Stop Checking Your Likes explores the modern obsession with external validation, using social media “likes” as a metaphor for seeking approval. Susie Moore teaches readers to break free from societal expectations and self-doubt by prioritizing self-worth over external validation. The book blends personal anecdotes, actionable strategies, and mindset shifts to help readers cultivate unshakable confidence and live authentically.

This book is ideal for anyone struggling with people-pleasing, social media comparison, or decision paralysis caused by fear of judgment. It’s particularly relevant for millennials, professionals navigating career changes, and individuals seeking to build self-trust. Moore’s direct, conversational style appeals to readers wanting practical self-help advice without jargon.

The “approval trap” refers to sacrificing personal desires to gain external validation, like pursuing a career to please family or staying in unfulfilling relationships. Moore argues this cycle drains joy and reinforces self-doubt. She provides tools to recognize and escape these patterns through self-compassion and boundary-setting.

Moore draws from her abusive childhood, failed marriage, and corporate career to illustrate approval-seeking pitfalls. Her journey from a women’s shelter to becoming a life coach adds credibility to her message, showing how self-validation enabled her to rebuild her life.

• Self-ownership: Your worth isn’t tied to others’ opinions
• Failure reframing: Missteps are growth opportunities, not defeats
• Action > approval: Courageous choices trump “perfect” inaction
• Digital detox: Reduce reliance on social media validation

Unlike theoretical guides, Moore focuses on immediate mindset shifts with exercises like “The 5-Minute Courage Test.” It uniquely addresses digital-age validation struggles while avoiding toxic positivity. The blend of memoir and coaching creates a relatable, mentor-like tone.

1. Daily self-affirmation: Replace validation-seeking with intentional self-praise
2. The “Why Not Me?” mindset: Challenge imposter syndrome in opportunities
3. Approval audit: Identify where you’re overcompromising for others’ opinions
4. Micro-courage challenges: Build confidence through small, daily actions

"Your freedom begins when you stop auditing yourself through other people’s eyes." This encapsulates the book’s core message: true confidence comes from internal validation, not external metrics like social media engagement or societal benchmarks.

Some readers note the book focuses more on personal anecdotes than empirical data. Critics suggest it could delve deeper into systemic causes of validation-seeking. However, most praise its actionable strategies for overcoming approval addiction.

As AI-driven social media and virtual reality intensify comparison culture, Moore’s advice on digital detachment remains crucial. The book’s emphasis on self-trust over algorithmic approval aligns with growing movements toward tech-life balance and mental health awareness.

While Let It Be Easy focuses on reducing overthinking, this book specifically targets validation-seeking behaviors. Both share Moore’s signature “no-fluff” style, but Stop Checking Your Likes offers more frameworks for rebuilding self-image post-failure or rejection.

“Likes” represent all forms of external validation: career titles, relationship milestones, or material success. Moore argues chasing these metrics creates hollow achievements, while internal fulfillment comes from aligning choices with personal values.