Stop Self-Sabotage book cover

Stop Self-Sabotage by Dr. Judy Ho Summary

Stop Self-Sabotage
Dr. Judy Ho
3.81 (1200 Reviews)
Psychology
Self-growth
Productivity
Overview
Key Takeaways
Author
FAQs

Overview of Stop Self-Sabotage

Dr. Judy Ho's science-backed guide reveals why we self-sabotage and delivers a practical L.I.F.E. framework to break free. What if the blueprint for unleashing your willpower was hiding in your own psychology? Discover why therapists recommend this alongside "Unf*ck Yourself" for lasting transformation.

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Key Takeaways from Stop Self-Sabotage

  1. Identify self-sabotage triggers through a six-step audit to break harmful cycles.
  2. Replace automatic negative thoughts with CBT reframing to reduce self-defeating behaviors.
  3. Align actions with core values to unlock intrinsic motivation and sustain willpower.
  4. Create a one-page blueprint for actionable steps to prevent relapse into old patterns.
  5. Interrupt procrastination by addressing fear-based narratives that fuel self-sabotage.
  6. Practice mindfulness to recognize and redirect self-sabotaging impulses in real-time.
  7. Use the ABC method (Awareness-Behavior-Change) to disrupt ingrained psychological patterns.
  8. Combat perfectionism by prioritizing progress over unattainable standards to reduce burnout.
  9. Strengthen emotional regulation through acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) strategies.
  10. Build resilience by reframing setbacks as growth opportunities instead of failures.
  11. Implement micro-habits to gradually replace destructive routines with constructive ones.
  12. Address attachment styles influencing self-sabotage in relationships and career goals.

Overview of its author - Dr. Judy Ho

Dr. Judy Ho, Ph.D., ABPP, ABPdN, is a clinical psychologist, tenured associate professor at Pepperdine University, and bestselling author of Stop Self-Sabotage, a science-backed self-help guide offering practical strategies to break destructive patterns.

A triple board-certified neuropsychologist, she merges 20+ years of clinical experience with expertise in cognitive behavioral therapy and forensic psychology.

Her work appears in Psychology Today and Forbes, while her media presence includes co-hosting Emmy-winning shows like The Doctors and hosting the SuperCharged Life podcast.

Dr. Ho’s other books, I’ll Give It to Your Straight-ish (parenting teens) and The New Rules of Attachment (healing relationship patterns), further establish her authority in mental health. Stop Self-Sabotage has been translated into seven languages, reaching global audiences seeking evidence-based solutions for personal growth.

Common FAQs of Stop Self-Sabotage

What is Stop Self-Sabotage by Dr. Judy Ho about?

Stop Self-Sabotage provides a six-step framework to break cycles of self-defeating behaviors. Dr. Judy Ho, a clinical psychologist, combines therapeutic strategies, self-assessments, and exercises to help readers identify triggers like fear of change or excessive control, reprogram negative patterns, and build lasting resilience. The book emphasizes actionable tools to align actions with personal values and goals.

Who should read Stop Self-Sabotage?

This book is ideal for anyone struggling with procrastination, unhealthy habits, or unfulfilled goals. It’s particularly valuable for leaders, entrepreneurs, and self-improvement enthusiasts seeking evidence-based methods to overcome internal barriers. Readers who enjoy practical guides like Atomic Habits or You Are a Badass will find its structured approach transformative.

Is Stop Self-Sabotage worth reading?

Yes, reviewers praise its actionable exercises, relatable examples, and clarity. Dr. Ho’s blend of clinical expertise and accessible writing helps readers address root causes of self-sabotage, making it a useful reference for long-term change. Fans of interactive workbooks will appreciate its quizzes and step-by-step plans.

What are the six steps in Stop Self-Sabotage?

The six steps include:

  • Identifying triggers (e.g., stress, insecurity).
  • Deactivating automatic reactions.
  • Applying the ABC method (Awareness, Behavior, Change).
  • Replacing negative habits with positive ones.
  • Aligning actions with core values.
  • Creating a personalized blueprint for sustained growth.
How does Stop Self-Sabotage address fear of change?

Dr. Ho introduces the LIFE model, which pinpoints fear of the unknown as a key self-sabotage driver. Through exercises like “fear exposure” and cognitive reframing, readers learn to tolerate uncertainty and reframe challenges as opportunities, reducing avoidance behaviors.

What is the LIFE model in Stop Self-Sabotage?

The LIFE acronym represents four self-sabotage triggers: Low self-concept, Internalized beliefs, Fear of change, and Excessive need for control. The book provides assessments to identify dominant triggers and tailored strategies to address each, fostering self-awareness and targeted growth.

Does Stop Self-Sabotage include practical exercises?

Yes, each chapter features worksheets, quizzes, and scenarios. For example, Step 2 includes a “Trigger Response Chart” to track reactions, while Step 5 uses value-ranking exercises to prioritize goals. These tools help readers apply concepts directly to their lives.

How does Stop Self-Sabotage compare to Atomic Habits?

While both focus on behavior change, Dr. Ho’s book delves deeper into psychological roots of self-sabotage, whereas Atomic Habits emphasizes habit formation. Stop Self-Sabotage offers more clinical frameworks (e.g., LIFE model) and structured self-assessments, making it ideal for readers seeking introspective depth.

Absolutely. The book’s blueprint for change includes goal-setting templates and accountability strategies tailored to professional growth. By addressing perfectionism or fear of failure (common career saboteurs), readers gain tools to boost productivity and confidence.

What criticisms exist about Stop Self-Sabotage?

Some reviewers note the six-step process may feel repetitive for those familiar with cognitive-behavioral techniques. However, most praise its structured approach, calling it a “valuable reference” for its relatable examples and clarity.

How does Dr. Judy Ho’s TV experience influence the book?

Her background on The Doctors shines through in engaging, conversational prose. Case studies mirror real-world struggles, making complex psychology accessible. This practicality resonates with readers seeking relatable, non-academic advice.

Why is Stop Self-Sabotage relevant in 2025?

In an era of heightened anxiety and burnout, the book’s focus on resilience and aligning actions with values addresses modern stressors. Its digital-age examples (e.g., social media distractions) keep advice current, offering timeless tools for navigating uncertainty.

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Key takeaways

1

Why You Keep Getting in Your Own Way

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You've done it again. Sabotaged a relationship just as it was getting serious. Procrastinated on that project until the deadline became impossible. Started a fitness routine with genuine enthusiasm only to abandon it three weeks later. Sound familiar? Here's the uncomfortable truth: your brain isn't broken, and you're not fundamentally flawed. You're experiencing something far more universal and fixable-self-sabotage, the peculiar human tendency to undermine our own success even when we consciously want to thrive. Self-sabotage happens when our drive to avoid threats overpowers our desire to attain rewards. Think of Beth, a brilliant attorney who excels everywhere except managing her weight. Despite her discipline in court, she repeatedly fails at this one goal. Why? Because our brains operate on two competing systems: one seeking dopamine-fueled rewards, the other scanning relentlessly for danger. This creates what psychologists call "approach-avoidance conflict"-we start goals with excitement, but as challenges emerge, our threat-detection system screams louder than our reward-seeking impulses. The real culprits are four hidden forces called L.I.F.E. elements: Low or Shaky Self-Concept, Internalized Beliefs, Fear of Change, and Excessive Need for Control. These operate like background programs on your mental computer, driving behaviors without your conscious awareness. A shaky self-concept makes you doubt abilities in specific areas despite success elsewhere. Internalized beliefs-absorbed from caregivers during childhood-create negative self-talk convincing you effort is pointless. Fear of change makes familiar discomfort feel safer than unknown possibilities. And excessive need for control leads you to reject valuable opportunities requiring you to surrender predictability.

2

The Six Voices of Self-Defeat

3

Rewriting Your Mental Script

4

The ABC's of Behavioral Patterns

5

Building Your Success Architecture

6

Your Blueprint for Lasting Change

7

The Power You've Always Had

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