Chapter 4
The Daily Practice: Building Your Four Bodies
We chase money, fame, houses, bank accounts, always wanting more. Then we claim to want "freedom" but can't identify what's actually enslaving us. There are two crucial basics for succeeding in the Choose Yourself era:
First, ONLY DO THINGS YOU ENJOY. This isn't just career advice-it applies to every aspect of life. Only think about people you enjoy, read books that make you happy to be human, attend events that make you laugh or fall in love, deal with people who love you back. Most meetings, news, TV, and social interactions are wastes of energy. Every "yes" to something you don't want burns away your internal fire.
Second, practice THE DAILY PRACTICE. We are literally empty-atoms are 99.98% empty space. We spend our lives trying to fill this emptiness with external things that inevitably decay. The solution isn't external motivation but igniting your internal fire through maintaining four interconnected bodies:
The Physical Body requires proper care: avoiding junk food, sleeping 7-9 hours, limiting alcohol, and exercising regularly-even just taking walks. You don't need to be ripped-you just need to be healthy enough to "shit regularly."
The Emotional Body thrives when you surround yourself with positive, inspiring people and avoid those who drain your energy. When someone drives you crazy, acknowledge it but don't engage. One helpful exercise: speak fewer words each day (perhaps 1,000 instead of the average 2,500), forcing you to choose your words and interactions carefully.
The Mental Body wants to be the boss, keeping you busy with obsessing, worrying, and overthinking until burnout. Tame this wild horse through focused use-make it sweat by creating challenging lists. For example, develop ten ways to have more time for yourself or ten business ideas. This mental exercise exhausts the mind so it can't control you.
The Spiritual Body flourishes when you stay present rather than "time traveling" through past regrets or future anxieties. Find beauty in your surroundings, surrender by trusting your preparation, and recognize when you're in a bad mood without making decisions from that state.
The Daily Practice builds incremental improvements that shed the garbage weighing you down, igniting an inner fire that brightens those around you. Even starting with just ONE thing each day-sleeping eight hours, eating two meals instead of three, avoiding TV, not complaining-can begin this transformation.
Chapter 5
From Crisis to Stability: Emergency Procedures
Sometimes the Daily Practice isn't enough when you're completely overwhelmed. When someone wrote to James about having no money and impending eviction, he prescribed an emergency regimen: focus on abundance by calling people you're grateful for, volunteer to help others despite your own problems, see a doctor for sleep help, and exercise daily. Eight days later, they wrote back: "Thanks! I paid the rent. I'm still alive."
This approach is exemplified by James's friend Kamal Ravikant, who became severely ill after his business struggled and relationship ended. When conventional medicine failed him, Kamal began repeating "I love myself" as a mantra. This simple practice healed both his body and spirit. Kamal documented his recovery in the bestseller "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It," which he self-published without needing gatekeepers' approval.
Self-publishing represents the essence of choosing yourself. The process is remarkably straightforward: Write your book (Kamal wrote his 40-page book in weeks). Use CreateSpace (Amazon-owned) with their templates. Upload your PDF for approval and ISBN assignment. Within days, your book appears on Amazon at zero cost. Pay $70 for Kindle conversion. For marketing, leverage your network, give away initial copies for reviews, distribute at speaking engagements, write guest posts, and use social media.
Chapter 6
Purpose Is Overrated: Finding Freedom Without a Calling
When James was twelve, he wanted to be a colonel in the Kentucky State Militia like Colonel Sanders. He managed to become an honorary colonel in Mississippi and lieutenant colonel in Alabama, but Kentucky remained elusive.
Purpose is a problematic concept. It implies future happiness requires present unhappiness. But happiness is available now. At forty-five, James still doesn't know his purpose-and that makes him happy. Many successful people found their calling late: Colonel Sanders franchised at sixty-five, Ray Kroc bought McDonald's at fifty-two, Rodney Dangerfield succeeded in comedy in his forties, and Harry Bernstein published his bestseller at ninety-three after forty rejected novels.
The quest for a single purpose ruins lives. At twenty-seven, James had yet to start businesses, fall in love, write books, or experience significant failure. Now he's simply learning to be himself. Forget purpose-it's okay to be happy without one.
We get stuck in unhappy situations-marriages, jobs-and sometimes wish we could start fresh. In 1992, James actually tried moving into a homeless shelter (they rejected him). There's something primal in wanting to disappear, to mix with what we perceive as "the lowest of the low" and forget our past. But you can't change life from the outside. In the Choose Yourself era, freedom comes from the inside out.
The real question is: can you live as if you've already disappeared? Can you declutter not just physically, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually? Can you release past grudges and future anxieties?
You don't need a home or education-those are society's leashes. You don't even need to rent or stay in one place. Technology has created efficiencies not just at work but at home. Services like Airbnb and Zipcar let you live anywhere with minimal possessions. Your phone can replace most tools you need. And what about your job? Get rid of it-you'll ultimately be pushed out anyway. Do the Daily Practice instead, and you'll develop alternative income sources.
Chapter 7
Entrepreneurship Without Permission: The Million-Dollar Path
Not everyone needs to create the next Facebook or Google to achieve financial independence. For many, simply quitting a job they hate and making a good living-or even a million dollars-is success enough. Bryan Johnson's story illustrates this perfectly: he left his management position at Sears in 2007 to start Braintree, a payment processing company. Within two years, he was earning over a million annually, and eventually raised $70 million from investors.
His path followed several key principles: eliminate middlemen by going directly to credit card processors; choose a "boring" but essential business that every merchant needs; secure customers before quitting his day job; build trust through transparent blogging; say "yes" to new opportunities like software development; and provide exceptional customer service.
When OpenTable approached Bryan about developing software solutions for credit card storage and regulatory compliance, it opened entirely new service offerings and revenue streams. By hiring developers and building a great product, he quadrupled his income and elevated his business to a new level. This led to word-of-mouth referrals to companies like Airbnb and Uber, eventually attracting VC interest when they realized Braintree was powering payments for their portfolio companies.
Sara Blakely's billion-dollar Spanx success teaches similar lessons: Stay motivated (she read self-help books since age 16); master sales (she became a national sales trainer by 25); solve significant problems (millions of women had this issue); prepare thoroughly (she researched every patent and product); cold-call fearlessly (she landed Neiman Marcus directly); start lean (she began with just $5,000, no investors); don't quit your day job until you're shipping product; never ask permission (she displayed her products at Neiman Marcus without asking); and leverage all publicity opportunities.
Sara's success wasn't about money-she was so focused on her passion that she didn't even tell her fiance how successful Spanx truly was until weeks before their wedding. As she says, "Money makes you more of who you already are"-it's fun to make, spend, and give away, but it's secondary to passion and helping others.
Chapter 8
Mastering Sales and Becoming an Idea Machine
No amount of schooling teaches you how to choose yourself. The essential skills you need are generating ideas, selling those ideas, and bouncing back from failure. Great salespeople aren't necessarily great negotiators-in fact, James is a terrible negotiator but has succeeded through sales. While negotiation focuses on saying "no," sales is about finding the hidden "yes" in every person.
Successful selling requires understanding the lifetime value of customers, recognizing ancillary benefits beyond immediate profit, deeply studying your client's history, delivering extra features beyond what's expected, giving away everything valuable, recommending competitors when appropriate, constantly generating ideas for clients, showing up consistently, acquiring comprehensive knowledge of your field, and genuinely loving what you do.
When James shifted from writing generic finance articles to writing honestly about his failures and passions, he connected with over 4 million "customers" who appreciated his authenticity. True selling isn't manipulation-it's creating genuine value and relationships.
The idea muscle works like any other muscle-it must be exercised daily or it weakens, requiring rehabilitation to function properly again. With consistent practice over 6-12 months, you'll become an idea machine, generating solutions for any situation. But this development must happen alongside the other three "bodies"-you can't strengthen your idea muscle while suffering through bad relationships, illness, or lacking gratitude.
To develop your idea muscle, practice these techniques daily: Read chapters from books on at least four different topics; write down ten ideas about anything (the key is quantity, making your brain sweat); be a transmitter by keeping other parts of your life in balance; activate different parts of your brain through new activities like watercolors; create idea "collisions" by combining new and old concepts; avoid pressuring yourself since not every seed will grow; shake up your routine to let your subconscious work; revisit childhood passions which are fertile ground for ideas; and strategically surf the internet for inspiration.
Chapter 9
The Power of Releasing Opinions and Boosting Oxytocin
Do you really think you're going to change anyone's mind? James wonders about people who spend all day on internet message boards arguing their opinions. Yet we all get sucked in-some anonymous teenager posts something that rubs us wrong, and suddenly we've wasted 48 hours arguing with an internet troll who disappears into the mass of 7 billion people.
What's the purpose of an opinion? To prove you're right? You're wrong. Nobody will change their mind no matter how correct you are. One hundred years from now, everyone reading this will be dead anyway. The internet has created this oozing lava of "Us versus Them"-but what was life like before message boards and threads?
Time is limited. You could respond to Facebook comments no one will care about in a century, or you could read a book, take a walk by the river, or jump on a trampoline. Most people fight because they're lonely, seeking connection, but opinions won't cure that.
Try this: change the punctuation at the end of your judgments from exclamation points to question marks. Walk around bewildered all day. It's much more peaceful to focus on your inner health rather than those things in the material world you cannot possibly change.
When you're stressed, cortisol levels skyrocket-your body wants to fight or flee, not simmer in anger while staring at a screen. High cortisol inflames the vagus nerve (which stretches from brain to stomach), potentially causing numerous health problems. What suppresses this inflammation? Oxytocin-the "life hormone" released during orgasm and childbirth.
Here's how to trick your body into releasing more oxytocin: Give money away-showing compassion viscerally increases oxytocin levels. Hugging someone you love is powerful, but even imagining being hugged works almost as well. Using social media to connect with old friends releases oxytocin. Laughter is crucial-James watches comedy before dates or talks. Walking outside in the sun rather than running is correlated with higher oxytocin levels. Phone calls are like vocal hugs with people we like. Being trusted releases oxytocin-so live in a way that builds trust. Listening to music, especially while lying down, triggers oxytocin release. Even certain foods-eggs mixed with bananas and pepper-can boost oxytocin. And finally, deep breathing hypnotizes your body into thinking everything is calm, allowing oxytocin to flow.
Chapter 10
The Virtue of Mediocrity and the Power of Honesty
James admits he's pretty mediocre. He's started companies, sold some, failed at most. Invested in startups with mixed results. Written books he no longer likes. Everything he's done has been distinguished by mediocrity, lack of vision, and luck as much as effort.
But all people should be so lucky. We can't all be grand visionaries or Picassos. Most of us just want to grow our business, make art, sell it, make money, raise a family, and be happy. Aiming for grandiosity is the fastest route to failure. For every Zuckerberg, there are a thousand nobodies who burned up on reentry.
If you want modest success-selling your company, having time for hobbies, raising a decent family, occasionally enjoying sunsets with your spouse-James recommends embracing procrastination as your body telling you to think more; zero-tasking instead of multitasking to enhance creativity; learning from failure both practically and psychologically; combining existing ideas rather than seeking originality; balancing networking with actual work; taking bad deals sometimes to build momentum; and compensating for poor judgment of people by taking time to understand their motivations.
Being mediocre doesn't mean you won't change the world. It means being honest with yourself and others-the most effective habit for massive success.
Everyone secretly envied Bernie Madoff for a moment when they heard he stole $65 billion. But his story reinforces the false belief that dishonesty is necessary for success. The truth is exactly opposite: honesty is the only sustainable path to wealth. Dishonesty works until it doesn't-one mistake and you're out of the game. Honesty, however, compounds exponentially over years and decades. More people trust your word, seek you out, and offer opportunities.
To be more honest: Give credit freely, even when ideas were stolen from you. Be the source-like Google, which admits knowing nothing but directs you to the best resources. Introduce people who can help each other without inserting yourself in the middle. Take the blame when you mess up. Don't lead a double life-it takes up mental space your brain can't handle. Don't be angry-it's dishonest to expect perfection from others. Make no excuses for failures. Make others look good by acknowledging even small accomplishments. Don't gossip-word always gets around. Do what you say you'll do. Enhance others' lives by helping them grow into their potential.
Chapter 11
Choose Yourself: Lessons from Remarkable Lives
Alex Day exemplifies the new reality of choosing yourself. At 23, this English musician has released three studio albums, had three UK Top40 hits, and amassed 100+ million YouTube views-all without a record label. When his third album released the same day as Justin Timberlake's heavily marketed album, Alex actually beat him on the UK iTunes chart.
From Alex, we learn crucial lessons: Anyone can reach out to anyone. Conventional money-making methods are obsolete as barriers disappear. Alex earns $3,500 monthly from YouTube and $10,000+ from music and merchandise sales. When everyone says you CAN'T, you still CAN by selectively working with the system. The community you build creates unexpected opportunities-like when a 10-year-old fan's father at Universal helped Alex distribute physical CDs. Success comes through persistence rather than industry validation.
Gandhi's principles offer equally powerful guidance. When a mother brought her sugar-addicted son to Gandhi for advice, Gandhi asked her to return in two weeks. When they returned, Gandhi simply told the boy to stop eating sugar. When asked why the delay, Gandhi explained, "Because before I could tell your son to stop eating sugar, I had to stop eating sugar first."
From Gandhi we learn: Nobody can tell you what to do, regardless of obligations; only you can act to change the world with your ideas. Through silence and contemplation comes right action. Never give advice on things you don't know firsthand. Nothing is more important than self-cultivation-dividing the world into "us" versus "them" only makes you part of "them."
On January 30, 1969, the Beatles performed their final concert on a London rooftop. Despite hating each other and being on the verge of breaking up, they spontaneously moved their equipment five floors up and played for half an hour. Their last live performance had been over two years earlier.
What's remarkable about this performance: The band members genuinely despised each other. Weeks earlier, Harrison and Lennon had a fistfight, with Harrison briefly quitting. Despite growing up together, they simply couldn't work together anymore. Yet despite their contempt for each other, they performed brilliantly. Competent people move forward and do what they do, regardless of circumstances.
At the end, Lennon said, "I hope we pass the audition." A creator can never rest-every moment is the audition. Every creation is a chance to do something new, disruptive, playful, unique, and vulnerable.
Chapter 12
The Final Choice: Taking Over Your World
The corporate safety net of the Industrial Revolution is over. We believed big corporations would take care of us after we paid our dues with a college education, but that was a myth. The earth has split apart, and some will fall into the abyss while others will master the tools of self-sufficiency needed to choose themselves.
To flourish, we must help ourselves to health, create more choices instead of relying on others, and build financial, emotional, and spiritual wealth.
Try this exercise: Draw a circle with what you do at the center-your job title or central life role. Draw a second circle around it divided into compartments containing the people directly affected by your work. Draw a third circle with people affected by those in your second circle. Draw a fourth circle showing what your center circle could evolve into over time. Draw a fifth circle with influential people you'd like to affect. Finally, draw an outer circle representing the entire world that could be changed through your ripple effect.
If you can't see how your work affects others beyond a certain point, start over. Tweak something. Keep drawing circles until you can envision how your existence might change the entire world. Unlike school, life gives us unlimited "redos"-keep drawing your circles of influence until you map the full circle of possibility.
Rejection is perhaps the most powerful force in our lives. When faced with it, people typically respond in one of three ways: giving up, pushing forward angrily, or learning and adapting. The third approach is most productive. When rejected, first consider how to improve your offering. Second, expand your universe of decision makers. This is the Choose Yourself Era. For the first time since Gutenberg, there's a revolution in mass communication. Whether through Amazon for books, online dating for relationships, or YouTube for entertainment, you can now bypass traditional gatekeepers and connect directly with those who need your message.
How do you get past failure? Diversification is everything-you get past "this" by having lots of "that"s. But equally important is being like a child, who naturally forgets and moves on. Children see life with question marks, while adults see periods and exclamation points. "Will I get over this?" becomes "It's too late" or "I can't get over this!" The hope for our future is to relearn how to dot our lives with question marks instead of periods-to turn judgments into queries and problems into mazes.
