Natalie Lue

Social links:

Official Website Substack Baggage Reclaim

Genres:

Relationship Self Help Personal Development

Natalie Lue is a British writer, relationship coach, and podcast host whose work centers on overcoming emotional baggage, people pleasing, and boundary-setting. She is best known for her books including "Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl" and "The Joy of Saying No." Her self-help insights have reached millions globally and garnered wide media recognition.

Biography & Author's Journey

Natalie Lue was born and raised in Dublin, Ireland, and her formative years were marked by travels, academic pursuit, and a steady curiosity about human behavior. She rediscovered her passion for writing during a semester in the United States, where a rigorous English class built her confidence and comfort with sharing her own experiences. This awakening eventually led her, in June 2004, to start blogging—a decision born out of frustration with dating and self-esteem struggles, and a yearning to explore and overcome her own emotional baggage.

Quotes

To embrace the joy of saying no, of boundaries being a possibility for us, is to forgive ourselves. Boundaries are forgiveness because evolving our boundaries stops suppressing our needs, expectations, desires, feelings, and opinions, which forgives our younger selves. Forgiveness grants us permission to grow

-The Joy of Saying No

If you don’t say yes authentically, you say it resentfully, fearfully and avoidantly, and that leads to far more problems than if you’d just said no in the first place

-Natalie Lue: HOME

I show recovering people pleasers how to stand up for themselves so that they have greater self-esteem, relationships, creativity and purpose

-Natalie Lue: HOME

For the first time in my life, I realized that it was me who is in charge of my life. I’d done what everybody else wanted. And so over the course of the next several months, I started to put some boundaries in my life. Gradually, bit by bit, day by day, I started being more honest about who I am as a person because that was the fundamental problem with me. I swallowed all my feelings. I hidden all of my trauma. I just became whatever anybody wanted me to be, and I couldn’t do it anymore. My life was saying to me, you cannot pretend that you don’t have feelings. You can’t pretend to be something that you’re not. The only choice that you have is to be you

-How to Stop Pleasing Everyone But Yourself

I wrote this book because I genuinely had discovered the healing and transformative power of saying no and having boundaries. And I make a point of saying that because I think that people see boundaries as saying no and telling people what to do. And a big thing that I learned about having boundaries was boundaries are about being more of who you really are. Because then we’re operating from a place of integrity, authenticity, and honesty

-The Joy of Saying No - Retirement Wisdom Podcast

We are all guilty of 'people pleasing' sometimes, and agreeing or committing to things or events that we don't really want to be a part of, and going along with them for the sake of a quiet life. But podcaster and author Natalie Lue is with us in the studio to help transform you, and win back control over your life. She tells us how a series of failed relationships and a brush with an autoimmune disease forced her to say 'no' and turn her life around - and how she wants to spread the revelation that 'NO' is not a dirty word - and why 'people pleasing' is a LIE!

-How To Stop People Pleasing & Start Saying No With Author Natalie Lue! | Lorraine

I help people pleasers, perfectionists and relationship strugglers overcome their emotional baggage so that they become more of who they really are

-Natalie Lue: HOME

My mission is to help as many people as possible to help themselves to become more of who they really are

-ABOUT - Natalie Lue

Only by learning to say no – and sticking to it – can you lead a more joyful and authentic life

-The Joy of Saying No by Natalie Lue

Popular Books

The No Contact Rule

Natalie Lue

A guide to healing from toxic relationships by cutting all contact with ex-partners.

Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

Natalie Lue

A no-nonsense guide for women to break free from emotionally unavailable men and build healthier relationships.

The dreamer and the fantasy relationship

Natalie Lue

A reality check for women caught in virtual relationships, offering tools to break free and find genuine connections.

Joy of Saying No

Natalie Lue

Empowering guide to break free from people-pleasing, set healthy boundaries, and live authentically by embracing the power of 'no'.

The No Contact Rule

Natalie Lue

A guide to healing from toxic relationships by cutting all contact with ex-partners.

Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

Natalie Lue

A no-nonsense guide for women to break free from emotionally unavailable men and build healthier relationships.

The dreamer and the fantasy relationship

Natalie Lue

A reality check for women caught in virtual relationships, offering tools to break free and find genuine connections.

Joy of Saying No

Natalie Lue

Empowering guide to break free from people-pleasing, set healthy boundaries, and live authentically by embracing the power of 'no'.

Discover more

Master NLP, EQ & Dating for Power & Love

LEARNING PLAN

Master NLP, EQ & Dating for Power & Love

This plan bridges the gap between psychological influence and emotional depth, offering a dual approach to professional power and romantic fulfillment. It is ideal for individuals seeking to enhance their social status, master dating dynamics, and lead with high-EQ charisma.

2 h 57 m•4 Sections

Stop People Pleasing & Set Boundaries

LEARNING PLAN

Stop People Pleasing & Set Boundaries

Many individuals struggle with burnout and resentment because they prioritize others' needs over their own. This plan is ideal for anyone looking to reclaim their time and build self-respect through clear communication and firm boundaries.

3 h 23 m•4 Sections

Embrace healthy love & singlehood contentment

LEARNING PLAN

Embrace healthy love & singlehood contentment

This learning plan is essential for anyone struggling with relationship anxiety, repeated patterns in dating, or feeling incomplete without a partner. It's particularly valuable for those healing from past relationships, entering the dating world after a break, or simply wanting to build healthier connection skills. By combining attachment theory, boundary-setting, and self-worth development, you'll gain the tools to create fulfilling relationships while feeling genuinely content on your own.

2 h 43 m•4 Sections

Break free from limerent obsession patterns

LEARNING PLAN

Break free from limerent obsession patterns

This plan is designed for individuals who feel trapped in cycles of obsessive longing or emotionally draining relationships. It provides a science-backed roadmap to healing attachment wounds and reclaiming emotional autonomy from codependent patterns.

1 h 57 m•4 Sections

Community Voices

"Natalie Lue is a thought leader on relationships and human behaviour whose pragmatic and warm approach has earned her readers in over 140 countries"

— The New York Times

"Natalie Lue is the author of the hugely popular relationship and self-esteem blog, Baggage Reclaim, along with five books"

— Audible

"Natalie Lue has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post, NPR, and the BBC for her insights on boundaries and emotional health"

— The Washington Post

"Natalie Lue, bestselling author and writer (Baggage Reclaim), has reached more than 3 million podcast downloads across 140+ countries"

— London Writers' Salon

"Natalie Lue’s books, including 'Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl,' have sold more than 150,000 copies worldwide"

— HarperCollins

"Let Go by Natalie Lue, exclusive to The Pound Project, explores a decade shaped by estrangement, illness, and creative renewal"

— The Pound Project

"Natalie Lue’s self-help advice blends personal experience and practical tools, offering an 'antidote to dodgy relationship advice."

— Emma Gannon

"Described as a 'boundaries bible' by bestselling author Emma Gannon, Natalie Lue’s work resonates with people pleasers seeking change"

— Good Morning Britain

"Natalie Lue’s 'The Joy of Saying No' provides practical support for those recovering from people-pleasing tendencies and boundary issues"

— Harper Horizon

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@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

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"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco

BeFreed Brings Together A Global Community Of 1,000,000 Curious Minds

See more on how BeFreed is discussed across the web

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum

108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

254

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon

201

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu

1.5K Ratings4.7

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Natalie Lue

Biography & Author's Journey

Quotes

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Popular Books

The No Contact Rule

Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

The dreamer and the fantasy relationship

Joy of Saying No

The No Contact Rule

Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

The dreamer and the fantasy relationship

Joy of Saying No

Discover more

Master NLP, EQ & Dating for Power & Love

Stop People Pleasing & Set Boundaries

Embrace healthy love & singlehood contentment

Break free from limerent obsession patterns

Community Voices

Set boundaries without over-explaining

Love, Relationships & Self-Improvement