Choosing to Run: A Memoir

Summary of Choosing to Run

1. 1

   When Victory Looks Nothing Like You Imagined

   

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   Rain slashed sideways across Boylston Street as Des Linden charged toward the finish line alone, her frozen fingers fumbling uselessly at her jacket zipper. This wasn't how she'd pictured winning Boston thousands of times during Michigan training runs. Just hours earlier, she'd stood barefoot in her hotel room, her pre-race checklist reduced to a single word: survive. The forecast promised a nor'easter-freezing rain, howling winds, temperatures in the thirties. She'd spent eight months battling hypothyroidism so severe a nurse warned she'd be dead without medication. Her European tune-up races had been disasters. She'd publicly criticized her team's coaching decision days before the race. Everything pointed toward dropping out quietly. Yet somehow, impossibly, she was about to become the first American woman to win Boston in thirty-three years. The question isn't just how she got there-it's how someone learns to keep running when every rational reason says stop.

2. 2

   The Chip That Launched a Career

   Start Listening

   Des discovered running through anger, not talent. Her father demanded year-round sports, extending practices hours beyond her teammates. At ten, she showed up to the Junior Carlsbad one-mile race in black cotton sweats while others wore proper gear. She won by a wide margin. Her father's response became her mantra: "Look at them in all their fancy gear, and you just whooped up on them." That chip on her shoulder was hereditary, and she wore it proudly. At Arizona State, Des trained alongside Amy Hastings - her opposite in every way. Amy ran happy; Des ran angry. Their contrasting approaches created perfect balance. Unlike runners who starved themselves, Des attended indie rock concerts, refusing the singularly focused athlete stereotype. After college, she joined the Hansons' Original Distance Project in suburban Detroit - a Brooks-backed group training overlooked talent. Their blue-collar philosophy centered on "running tired," maintaining 120-mile weeks to simulate late-race fatigue. Des's underdog mentality found its perfect home.

3. 3

   Finding Home in Heartbreak

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   Des's Boston love affair began during an autumn course tour with Gloria Ratti, the Boston Athletic Association's first lady. Gloria's office walls displayed decades of racing history-vintage photos, worn bibs, newspaper clippings. Des daydreamed about earning a place in that collection. Ten days before her 2007 debut, Des met Dick Beardsley during a frigid Michigan training run. She absorbed his vivid recollections of his legendary 1982 "Duel in the Sun" with Alberto Salazar-the screaming Wellesley women, the Newton climbs, emerging onto Boylston Street. She saw herself in that underdog narrative. Her breakthrough came at Boston 2011 under perfect conditions-46 degrees with a tailwind. While others chased Kim Smith's breakaway, Des maintained her calculated pace, methodically picking off fading runners through Newton. Taking the lead at Heartbreak Hill exactly as visualized, she entered a fierce three-way battle with Sharon Cherop and Caroline Kilel down Boylston Street. Just as Des kicked for victory, both calves seized completely. She watched helplessly as Kilel passed, missing victory by two seconds with a 2:22:38-the fastest time ever by an American woman at Boston. Though devastating, this heartbreaking finish proved she belonged among the elite.

4. Chapter 4

   When Dreams Become Nightmares

   At the 2012 Houston Olympic trials, Des finished second behind Shalane Flanagan, securing her Olympic spot. Her only regret was seeing Amy finish fourth, just over a minute behind. When Amy showed weakness by moving to the front, Des seized the opportunity without hesitation. Des gambled by delaying contract talks until after trials, then pushed for salaries and multi-year contracts. However, training for London's twisting course triggered a hip injury. Despite weeks on the AlterG anti-gravity treadmill, pain persisted. Days before the race, she learned she'd lose her Olympian status and contract benefits without starting. She decided to race anyway. On race day, piercing pain returned on the first right-hand turn. After seeing family and friends along the course, Des reached her breaking point. She stayed composed with reporters, expressing belief in another Olympic chance. Two weeks later, she received an accurate diagnosis - a nondisplaced cortical stress fracture in her femur. The serious injury brought strange relief, justifying why she couldn't push through.

   Chapter 5

   The Body's Rebellion

   Des had spent her career pushing through discomfort-a mindset forged at Arizona State under Walt and reinforced by the Hansons' philosophy of thriving when exhausted. But in summer 2017, her body staged a full rebellion. Her hair fell out in clumps, she felt perpetually cold, her legs tingled, her feet went numb. On her thirty-fourth birthday, she spent most of the day sleeping or crying. During an attempted progression run, she couldn't find rhythm. Blood tests revealed creatine kinase at 900-nine times normal. At Urgent Care, severe hypothyroidism was diagnosed: TSH over 92 (normal: 0.45-5.33), free T4 below 0.2 (normal: 0.7-2.0). Without immediate medication, the nurse warned, she'd slip into a coma or die. Des initially resisted Synthroid-associating it with performance shortcuts-until she woke gasping for air. Within a week of starting medication, sensation and strength returned. Studying her condition, she realized symptoms had brewed for a year-sore throats, lost voice, flu-like feelings she'd dismissed. The discipline that made her a great runner had blinded her to serious warning signs.

   Chapter 6

   The Storm That Changed Everything

   Four days before Boston 2018, Des tested new Brooks racing flats that proved responsive at faster paces. At the pre-race media conference, she stated she didn't support the Hansons signing Dathan Ritzenhein from the controversial Nike Oregon Project, creating team tension. Her bodyworker John Ball advised considering dropping out for long-term health, but Des couldn't ignore her competitive nature. The night before, Brooks confirmed they'd continue her contract regardless of her Hansons connection. Combined with the terrible weather forecast, Ryan urged her to race: "You're mentally tougher than everyone. This is perfect for you." On race morning, brutal conditions hit-howling winds and freezing rain. Des realized that while everyone would suffer, no one had managed suffering like she had over the previous eight months. At Mile Six, Des battled through a historic nor'easter. After nearly falling, she told Shalane she might drop out but offered help if needed. When Shalane needed a pit stop around Mile 13, Des slowed to wait, leading her back through the headwind. Working in Shalane's service put Des in better rhythm. In the Newton hills, Des chased through sheets of rain. When Chesir passed Daska at Mile 21, Des was fifteen seconds behind. She made her decisive move, passing Chesir with newfound authority. With four miles remaining, she focused on maximum effort, drawing on memories of her deepest struggles. Taking the final left onto Boylston, the strongest wind gusts and sideways rain hit, rivaling the wild crowd roars. A smile crept across her face as she charged toward the finish, hearing: "And here comes your 2018 Boston Marathon champion, Desiree Linden."

   Chapter 7

   Running for Something Bigger

   Des's Boston victory secured her place in marathon history-her face on race week banners, her name in 122-year-old record books. Returning as defending champion in 2019, she hit mile 18 in Newton Hills with heavy legs, watching Ethiopia's Worknesh Degefa pull away. As fatigue crashed over her, thoughts of Gabriele Grunewald pierced through. Though not close friends, Gabe's positivity while battling terminal adenoid cystic carcinoma profoundly impacted Des. Days before the race, Gabe tweeted how deeply she missed running-a simple joy now denied. At a pre-race event, Des dedicated her 26.2 miles to Gabe, discovering something invaluable: a meaningful "why" beyond personal achievement. Success in endurance sports isn't merely about physical preparation-it's about discovering deeper motivation when your body screams to stop. Through years battling hypothyroidism, fractured bones, Olympic disappointments, and Michigan's harshest weather, Des never wavered. Her greatest victory wasn't breaking the tape in Boston, but discovering the real race is against our perceived limitations.

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