Communicate to Influence: How to Use Your Voice to Be Heard and Get Results

Summary of Communicate to Influence

1. 1

   Beyond Information: The Journey to Influential Communication

   

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   Imagine a conference room after lunch. An older gentleman sits with arms crossed, eyes closed, mouth slightly open. Soon, another person's eyes droop. Then the phones come out. The audience is lost. This scene, all too familiar in corporate settings, illustrates the epidemic of poor communication plaguing businesses today. But becoming a great communicator requires just two things: a smart game plan and consistent practice. What makes this insight particularly powerful is that it comes from communication experts who have transformed countless executives from data-dumping bores into inspiring leaders. Their approach has been embraced by companies like Apple, Cisco, and Charles Schwab because it works-it turns ordinary communicators into influential ones.

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   The Five Communication Lies We Tell Ourselves

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   We sabotage our communication by believing five dangerous myths. First, "if I say the words, people will get it." In reality, communication creates an experience, not just transfers information. Most of us focus on content while neglecting delivery, creating presentations that fail to engage listeners. Second, "when I'm 'on,' I'm great." Many people mistakenly treat public speaking as a performance rather than authentic communication. Presidential elections consistently show that authentic candidates defeat those who seem contrived. Third, "I don't need to prep. I can wing it." With busy schedules, we often skip preparation, especially for internal meetings, missing countless opportunities to influence effectively. Fourth, "people tell me I'm pretty good at speaking." Leaders typically receive sugarcoated feedback about their communication skills. Video feedback often reveals startling differences between our perception and reality. Fifth, "that's not the way we do things here." Poor communication cascades through organizations as managers mimic executives' bad habits. Breaking this cycle requires both permission to change and willingness to take risks.

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   Navigating the Attention Economy

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   In today's distraction-filled world, almost half of what you say isn't getting through. Three societal trends are forcing communicators to adapt: shifting trust dynamics, an attention economy where focus is currency, and a thirst for inspiration amid information overload. Trust in leaders has remained critically low since the 2008 financial crisis, with people trusting institutions significantly more than their leaders. This trust gap means leaders must earn their "License to Lead" through authentic communication rather than relying on position alone. Our audiences have fundamentally changed. Device dependency is epidemic - 84% can't go a day without phones, 20% check every ten minutes. In this environment, human attention has become our scarcest resource. What captures attention today is inspiration. Millennials - soon to be 75% of the global workforce - overwhelmingly want meaningful work that makes a difference. The TED phenomenon, with its billion-plus views, demonstrates how vulnerability, passion, and authenticity now trump ego. Your previous communication skills may have served you well until now, but won't suffice in this new era of attention scarcity.

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   The Communicator's Roadmap: Your Path to Influence

   Communication creates an experience that touches emotions and builds trust - like restaurants focusing on experience, not just food. Effective communicators intentionally shape this experience for their audience. The Communicator's Roadmap features two key axes: emotional connection (vertical) measures whether people trust and want to follow us, while content orientation (horizontal) shows whether we're distributing information or driving action. These axes create four communication experiences: • Inform: low connection, self-centered content • Entertain: high connection, self-centered content • Direct: low connection, audience-centered content • Inspire: high connection, audience-centered content The "Inspire" quadrant represents the ideal destination, combining audience-centered content with strong emotional connection. These quadrants represent experiences you create, not permanent communicator types. Each situation requires an intentional approach. Even for informational exchanges, make content relevant and forge emotional connections. The goal is shifting your communication higher and to the right, becoming more memorable and persuasive.

   Chapter 5

   Building Trust Through Behavior

   As Ralph Waldo Emerson noted, "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." Communication effectiveness depends on both content and delivery. When inconsistency exists between verbal, vocal, and visual components, people overwhelmingly trust behavior over words. Five key behaviors generate trust and emotional connection. Eye communication forms the foundation - maintain eye contact for 7-10 seconds in one-on-ones and about five seconds per person in groups. Posture and movement increase your influence - stand straight with shoulder blades down, weight balanced on the balls of your feet. Effective gestures inject energy into your communication - make expansive movements with elbows away from your body. Facial expression is crucial - a serious face might contradict your message. Smiling adds warmth and surprisingly increases perceived competence. Your voice shapes how people experience you. Bring your "backyard barbecue self" - your most natural, engaging version - into professional settings. Manage pitch, pace, and volume for vocal variety. The strategic pause is one of your most powerful tools, allowing you to think, breathe, emphasize key points, and eliminate fillers.

   Chapter 6

   Creating Emotional Connection Through SHARPs

   While behavioral skills establish trust, emotionally resonant content creates deeper connections. To reach your listeners' emotional core, use SHARPs: Stories, Humor, Analogies, References and quotes, and Pictures and visuals. Stories deliver the greatest emotional impact. As NBA executive Pat Williams notes, "If I ever feel the need to wake up an audience, I know exactly what to say: 'Let me tell you a story.'" Stories create mental movies that stir feelings from suspense to compassion. Humor keeps listeners engaged and demonstrates emotional connection. Take your topic seriously but yourself lightly. Self-deprecating humor works particularly well, making you appear humble and likable. Analogies reveal surprising commonalities between dissimilar objects, using familiar examples to explain complex concepts. References and quotes help frame your message, while visuals magnify emotional impact. Business leaders often dismiss these tools as fluff. But SHARPs aren't entertainment - they're powerful tools that make people listen and create persuasive emotional connections. Vulnerability is particularly effective for leaders, forging emotional bonds with listeners.

   Chapter 7

   Becoming a 10X Communicator

   The goal of communication transformation is moving audience response from reluctant compliance to enthusiastic engagement. This requires recognizing opportunity, putting in serious work, and answering the call to communicate powerfully. Contrary to popular belief, there's no such thing as a "natural-born communicator" - which is actually good news. Great communication is learned, not innate. According to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, your mindset determines your communication potential: fixed mindset believes abilities are set in stone, while growth mindset embraces improvement. The goal isn't creating uniform communicators. True influence comes from authenticity, which Chip Conley defines as self-awareness multiplied by courage - knowing yourself and being brave enough to share it. People who balance humility with confidence create magnetic presence. Think of Nelson Mandela's warm smile combined with unwavering strength - never arrogant yet deeply confident. This "humble confidence" is the sweet spot between being a pushover and appearing dismissive. There's no such thing as "private speaking" - we communicate constantly, creating experiences in every interaction. Communication is the power to shift thinking and generate action. People thirst for inspiration in a world drowning in information. The journey to becoming a 10X communicator never ends - see every interaction as a chance to inspire rather than merely inform.

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