Capítulo 1
The Power of Words: Rewiring Your Brain for Success
Have you ever noticed how the most successful people seem to have an unwavering belief in themselves? It's as if they operate with a different mental software than the rest of us. This insight forms the foundation of Shad Helmstetter's groundbreaking work, "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself." First published in 1986, this book has quietly transformed millions of lives while becoming a cornerstone of modern personal development literature. Celebrities like Oprah Winfrey and Tony Robbins have praised its practical approach, with Oprah noting that "changing your self-talk changes your life." What began as a revolutionary concept has now been validated by neuroscience research on neuroplasticity-our brain's remarkable ability to rewire itself throughout our lives. The book's enduring popularity across 70+ countries speaks to a universal truth: the conversations we have with ourselves might be the most important conversations we'll ever have. What if the key to unlocking your potential isn't found in some secret strategy but in the words you speak to yourself every day?
Capítulo 2
The Invisible Prison of Negative Programming
From the moment we're born, our brains begin recording everything we experience. During our first eighteen years of life, researchers estimate we hear the word "No" or what we cannot do more than 148,000 times. Meanwhile, how often are we told what we can accomplish? For most people, positive messages are dramatically outnumbered by negative ones.
This programming comes from well-intentioned parents trying to protect us, teachers maintaining classroom order, siblings competing for attention, and peers establishing social hierarchies. Even media and advertising bombard us with messages about our inadequacies. The result? By adulthood, approximately 77% of our self-talk is negative and counterproductive.
I witnessed this phenomenon firsthand when studying human behavior. A band director once told my teacher I had "no musical ability"-programming I believed for twenty years before discovering it wasn't true. Conversely, Michael Vance, who later became Dean of Walt Disney University, overheard an elderly neighbor tell his mother he was "creative"-programming that shaped his entire career trajectory.
The power of these messages lies in repetition. As neuroscientists now confirm, repetition is a convincing argument to the brain. When we hear something repeatedly, neural pathways form, creating automatic thought patterns that become our default operating system. These thought patterns then determine our attitudes, feelings, behaviors, and ultimately, our results.
This explains why so many self-improvement efforts fail. We attend motivational seminars or read inspiring books, feeling temporarily energized to change our lives. But within days or weeks, we revert to old patterns. The problem isn't lack of information or motivation-it's that our underlying programming remains unchanged. Unless we address this foundational programming, lasting change remains elusive.
Think about it: How different might your life be with more positive mental programming? Would you have the same job? Approach it the same way? Have the same personal relationships, goals, or financial situation? What if you'd been given extra self-confidence, determination, and belief from childhood? The good news is that understanding neuroplasticity gives us the power to rewrite this programming at any age.
Capítulo 3
Your Brain: The Ultimate Biocomputer
Despite weighing only three pounds, your brain functions like an incredibly sophisticated computer. Your appearance and actions serve as the display screen, your five senses function as input devices, and your subconscious mind acts as storage. Whatever programming enters your "mental computer" becomes wired in, creating the operating system that runs your life.
Within your brain's "control center" are countless "switches" governing everything from moods and emotions to health and planning. These switches respond to electrical impulses called thoughts, which direct your feelings and actions. Every thought you think translates into electrical impulses that affect your brain's control centers, ultimately determining your behavior and experiences.
When commands reach this control center, appropriate switches turn on or off, activating networks of billions of neurons and neurotransmitters that telegraph messages throughout your brain. These electrochemical signals deliver potent chemical substances to your brain and nervous system, controlling everything you do. Your brain constantly monitors your needs and directs various bodily systems to take necessary action, automatically responding to your unconscious mental and physical commands.
The breakthrough in understanding human behavior came from discovering the direct link between our thoughts and the physical wiring of neural pathways in our brains. Our thoughts generate electrical impulses that turn switches in the brain on or off, directing control centers to electrically and chemically affect every motion, feeling, and action we take.
This explains why visualization techniques work-your brain doesn't distinguish between vividly imagined experiences and real ones. Both create similar neural firing patterns. Similarly, your brain doesn't judge whether your self-talk is positive or negative-it simply accepts and executes whatever programming you provide.
Imagine boarding a plane for a European vacation only to discover the aircraft's onboard computer is programmed with 75% incorrect directions. You'd immediately get off! Yet we continue living with mental programming that's equally faulty. The good news is we can reprogram ourselves-we can "rewire" our lives by erasing old, counterproductive programming and replacing it with positive, productive thoughts through the power of self-talk.
Capítulo 4
The Wall of Self-Defeating Talk
We constantly engage in self-talk through spoken words, unspoken thoughts, feelings, impressions, or even wordless physical responses. Most of this happens unconsciously, with our brains instantly connecting new information to existing beliefs. The longer we believe something, the harder it becomes to change-"The longer you have bought the thought, the 'truer' it is."
Most self-talk is counterproductive and self-defeating. Every negative statement we make about ourselves becomes a directive to our subconscious mind. Common phrases like "I can't remember names," "Nothing ever goes right for me," "I'm just no good at math," and "I never have enough time" program our mental computer for failure.
These negative programs manifest in our reality. I once observed a waitress who dropped plates and exclaimed "Oh, I'm so clumsy!"-a perfect example of someone living the result of her self-programming. Similarly, people who repeatedly tell themselves "I can never remember names" are programming their subconscious to forget names. Our brain doesn't distinguish between positive and negative statements-it simply executes whatever programming we give it, whether that's keeping us financially limited or making us successful.
Because we learned our programs from people around us, we pass the same programming on to others. Parents unwittingly create self-beliefs in their children that wire them for failure instead of success through statements like "You're just no good at that," "Can't you do anything right?" and the destructive "You'll never amount to anything." Though meant as proper training, these words program children with negative self-identities.
We all have dreams we could have accomplished with the right self-belief. Fortunately, we now understand that the brain is like a computer-it accepts whatever we program into it without judgment. Our subconscious works day and night to make us become precisely who we've unconsciously described ourselves to be, whether that's someone who can't earn enough money or stick to a diet.
Most of our self-talk happens silently-unspoken fears, self-doubt, and nagging discomfort. By adulthood, our pattern of self-talk becomes physically wired into our brain. We've learned to automatically believe the worst first and the best last. But it doesn't have to stay that way-we can change how we manage ourselves and our lives.
Capítulo 5
The Five-Step Success Sequence
Success or failure in managing our lives follows a natural process with specific steps. Understanding these steps improves our chances and accelerates our progress. Most of what happens to us isn't accidental-it happens because of something we created, directed, influenced, or allowed. Our achievements and failures are typically the result of our own actions or inactions.
The five-step sequence reveals how our internal processes determine our external results:
1. Behavior: Our behavior-what we do or don't do-most directly controls our success or failure. The right series of actions leads to better results than wrong actions. When we do the right things at the right time and persist, we're more likely to succeed. Our actions reveal our true feelings about situations, whether at work, school, or home. Every word, motion, and action we take determines how well our lives work for us.
2. Feelings: Every action we take is filtered through our feelings first. How we feel about something determines what we do and how well we do it. Positive feelings lead to more positive behaviors. Like a child who resists eating vegetables but dives into dessert, the difference isn't in the food itself but in the feelings about it. Even "irrational" feelings like fear of flying directly control behavior-making someone drive for days rather than fly for hours.
3. Attitudes: Our attitudes are the perspectives from which we view life. Some people have generally good attitudes, others bad, but most have a combination. Whatever attitude we have about anything affects our feelings about it, which determines our actions, which ultimately determines our success. A good attitude is essential for achievement in any area.
4. Beliefs: Our beliefs determine our attitudes, create our feelings, direct our actions, and ultimately help us succeed or fail. Beliefs are so powerful they can make something appear different than it really is. Belief doesn't require something to be true-it only requires us to believe it's true. This means most of what we consider reality is based on what we've come to believe, whether it's actually true or not.
5. Programming: We believe what we are programmed to believe. Our conditioning since birth has created, reinforced and cemented most of what we believe about ourselves and the world around us. Whether right or wrong, true or false, this programming initiates a chain reaction that leads to either successful self-management or unsuccessful mismanagement of ourselves and our future.
The sequence is clear: programming creates beliefs, beliefs create attitudes, attitudes create feelings, feelings determine actions, and actions create results. If you want to change your results, start by changing your programming through self-talk.
Capítulo 6
The Five Levels of Self-Talk
Self-talk is a way to override our past negative programming by replacing it with conscious, positive new directions. It allows us to live by active intent rather than passive acceptance, giving our subconscious mind new directions through different words and statements. Self-talk helps us change what we want to change by painting a new internal picture of ourselves as we'd like to be.
Level 1: The Level of Negative Acceptance
The most harmful self-talk we can use is characterized by phrases like "I can't..." or "If only I could..." This negative self-talk works against us yet is the most frequently used. Statements like "I just don't have the energy I used to" or "I could never do that" program us to fail. Level 1 self-talk represents everything from simple misgivings to our worst fears about ourselves, turning self-assurance into self-doubt.
Level 2: The Level of Recognition and Need to Change
This deceptive level seems helpful but actually works against us. Characterized by phrases like "I need to..." or "I should..." Level 2 self-talk recognizes problems without creating solutions. When you say "I really need to get more organized," you're actually programming "I need to get organized...but I'm not." These statements create guilt and disappointment rather than positive change.
Level 3: The Level of Decision to Change
The first level that works for us instead of against us, Level 3 self-talk recognizes the need to change and makes the decision to do something about it. Using phrases like "I never..." or "I no longer..." stated in present tense as though the change has already happened: "I never eat more than I should" or "I no longer put off tasks." This level rephrases old negatives and gives your subconscious mind direction to make the change.
Level 4: The Level of the Better You
The most effective self-talk uses present tense "I am" statements to give your brain a completed picture of who you want to become. This isn't self-deception but providing your brain with a blueprint for change. Level 4 self-talk replaces helpless "cannot's" with vibrant "Yes, I can's"-turning procrastination into productivity, poor memory into attentiveness, and problems into solutions.
Level 5: The Level of Universal Affirmation
Level 5 self-talk consists of spiritually-oriented affirmations characterized by "It is..." statements that affirm oneness with the universe or divine connection. While meaningful to those on a spiritual path, these differ from practical self-talk. Affirmations typically have metaphysical associations and are general in nature, while self-talk consists of specific statements designed to wire new neural pathways into the brain.
Start immediately by recognizing why Levels 1 and 2 self-talk haven't worked and replace them with the positive self-talk of Levels 3 and 4. Level 4 self-talk will get you moving toward your dreams and away from frustrating roadblocks.
Capítulo 7
Beyond Positive Thinking
Modern neuroscience has validated what was once dismissed as mere wishful thinking. Research shows people who think positively actually grow more neurons in the left prefrontal cortex-the brain area responsible for seeking solutions, handling challenges, and maintaining balance. Conversely, negative thinkers develop more neurons in the right prefrontal cortex, where pessimism and negative moods reside. The more time spent in either area, the more neurons grow there, reinforcing that thinking pattern.
Three challenges exist when shifting from negative to positive thinking: First, positive thinking alone doesn't solve problems-it must be paired with practical action plans. Second, merely deciding to be positive doesn't automatically rewire your brain-consistent practice is required. Third, you must replace old negative patterns with specific new positive ones.
Your mind is like an apartment furnished with thoughts-many being "hand-me-down" negative beliefs from parents, teachers, and others. Simply removing these negative thoughts creates an empty space that will eventually be refilled with the familiar old patterns unless you deliberately replace them with new, positive thoughts. Like replacing worn furniture with beautiful new pieces, you must systematically substitute positive self-talk for negative programming rather than just discarding the old without replacement.
Effective positive thinking requires completely replacing old negative self-talk with specific new positive language. It's not enough to discard negative thoughts-they must be replaced with sturdy new beliefs built on self-assurance and enthusiasm. The brain needs precise directions: "Give me the words," it says. Without this word-for-word vocabulary replacement, merely wanting to think positively won't create lasting change.
Most motivation doesn't last-it's like Chinese food that leaves you hungry an hour later. In corporate training, purely motivational speakers without instructional content are increasingly avoided because their impact quickly fades. While dynamic speakers can temporarily inspire audiences with visions of unlimited potential, this excitement rarely creates lasting change without practical tools for implementation.
The fundamental problem is that external motivation is temporary-when the coach or speaker leaves, so does the motivation. Our subconscious programming, built over years of negative conditioning, quietly overrides the brief inspiration, often leaving us worse off when we fail to achieve our newly-set goals. The only motivation that truly lasts is internal motivation created through proper self-talk, which rewires our neural pathways permanently rather than temporarily overriding them.
Capítulo 8
Practical Self-Talk Techniques
Self-talk techniques are remarkably simple and easy to implement. Some require dedicated time while others require none at all. There are five different methods for using self-talk, and you can choose which ones work best for your situation.
1. Silent Self-Talk
Silent self-talk occurs continuously as our internal dialogue, whether we're conscious of it or not. Replacing negative patterns with positive self-talk is surprisingly natural-requiring more awareness than effort. When beginning this practice, expect resistance from old programming that will try to convince you the new approach won't work. Your old self-talk feels comfortable even when negative, so be prepared to override it. Within days, you'll notice your negative patterns and can immediately rephrase them positively.
2. Self-Speak
Self-speak encompasses everything you say aloud about yourself or anything else. These spoken words feed crucial pictures and directions to your subconscious mind. Complaining about problems might provide temporary relief but doesn't improve situations. Instead, winners use self-speak to build attitudes that produce positive results. Listen carefully to your words-do they paint the picture you want your subconscious to see? If not, change them.
3. Self-Conversation
Self-conversation involves talking to yourself out loud, holding both sides of a dialogue. Though it may feel strange initially, this technique engages more of your senses in the programming process. Try "shower talk"-greet yourself cheerfully each morning and respond positively. Even a few minutes of this internal motivation can transform an average day into an exceptional one. Speaking aloud forces you to articulate thoughts clearly and allows you to ask yourself questions that often yield surprisingly honest answers.
4. Self-Write
Self-write involves writing out specific self-talk statements that deliver new instructions to your subconscious mind. Initially, I used index cards with one statement per card, creating decks for various situations. While effective, many people found the effort of writing their own self-talk challenging. Creating precisely worded statements requires following specific rules, but this process powerfully reinforces other reprogramming tools by focusing attention and actively involving you in replacing old programming with new.
5. Recorded Self-Talk
I first experimented with recorded self-talk in 1968 while developing self-improvement tape programs for a sales company. Years later in the 1980s, I used self-talk to successfully lose weight when all other methods had failed. The beauty was that it required no extra time-I simply changed the soundtrack of my life by playing it in the background.
Recorded self-talk has unique advantages: it works while you're doing other things, it's convenient with today's streaming technology, and it provides immediate motivation while simultaneously rewiring your subconscious for lasting results. Your brain absorbs the programming whether you consciously believe in it or not-as demonstrated by a woman whose reluctant husband eventually embraced self-talk after hearing it played in their home, resulting in improved communication and relationship.
Capítulo 9
Getting Started with Self-Talk
As self-talk has grown in popularity across 70+ countries, more people are seeking to rewire their brains with this proven technique. The three-step process I've taught for years is Monitor, Edit, and Listen.
Monitor
The best way to monitor your self-talk is through mindfulness-"being aware of being aware." This meditation-based concept helps you recognize what you're thinking while creating balance and reducing stress. To change your self-talk, you must first become aware of what you're currently telling yourself, both spoken words and silent thoughts. Remember that self-talk occurs constantly, though we're conscious of less than ten percent of it.
Edit
When you catch yourself using negative self-talk, immediately rephrase it positively. "I just can't seem to get organized today" becomes "I am organized and in control, today especially." "I've really got a problem with this" transforms to "I can handle this. I'm a capable person and I handle problems well." Though editing single statements might seem insignificant, remember each one directs your subconscious mind. Over a year, these add up to tens of thousands of self-directives that shape your accomplishments, feelings, and identity.
Listen
Listening to self-talk works like learning a new language. Our brains record and eventually wire in repeated words and phrases. I personally experienced this when I decided to lose weight by listening to specially-worded self-talk recordings for fifteen minutes each morning while shaving. In just ten and a half weeks, I lost 58 pounds-weight that never returned because I'd rewired my brain with new programming.
The power of listening to self-talk comes from repetition. After years of witnessing countless people transform their lives through listening, I've concluded that self-talk should be practiced in every home worldwide-it would genuinely change the world. The effectiveness comes from providing the repetition necessary to rewire your brain without requiring extra time or conscious effort. By listening during daily activities-while getting ready in the morning, driving, or falling asleep at night-you create the consistent repetition that strengthens new neural pathways.
Capítulo 10
Transforming Your Life Through Self-Talk
When beginning self-talk practice, what you first use it for depends on your immediate needs or goals. However, since self-talk becomes self-generating-the more you use it, the more you use it-success depends more on simply getting started than on your initial focus. Self-talk works regardless of your occupation, education, past successes or failures, as the human brain responds to these techniques universally.
Self-talk can address any problem, large or small-from changing attitudes and actions to breaking problematic choice patterns. Sometimes even minimal but precisely targeted self-talk creates major results. When facing any problem, ask yourself: "Is my old self-talk contributing to this problem? Could changing my self-talk help me fix it?"
Setting meaningful goals is essential to achievement and self-fulfillment. When you fuel your goals with consistent self-talk, you give life to your dreams and strength to your vision. While you might achieve goals without self-talk, the journey becomes significantly easier with it. Goal-setting and self-talk work hand-in-hand-write down your goals and support them with daily direction and encouragement through well-crafted self-talk.
How you perceive your job, colleagues, and supervisors profoundly affects your performance and satisfaction. If you tell yourself you dislike your job or resent your manager, those negative feelings will likely manifest. Instead, talk to yourself about your work in ways that make it work for you. When you catch yourself complaining or criticizing, shift your perspective. Your job provides more than income-it offers opportunities to excel and implement your highest expectations.
Our earning potential is determined by our internal beliefs. To increase income, first see yourself as worthy, deserving, capable and willing. Many people mistakenly try to figure out how to earn more before believing they're capable of doing so. Begin with self-talk about your self-worth-when you create a new self-image of being worth more, your subconscious will help find ways to earn it. Financial growth depends more on attitude, belief and determination than on your current position.
Children naturally embrace positive self-talk, often more readily than adults. They remain closer to their original potential, still willing to believe in what they can do rather than what they cannot. A child's self-concept affects everything-academic performance, friendship choices, handling peer pressure, future relationships, career paths, and overall life success. Children seek friends who mirror their self-image; if they have poor self-esteem, they'll gravitate toward similarly troubled peers. Self-talk changes this dynamic by transforming their programming, beliefs, attitudes, feelings, and ultimately behavior.
Self-talk is particularly effective for addressing loneliness and depression because it targets the root cause-your thoughts. We choose how to view our circumstances-dark and discouraging or acceptable, hopeful and changeable. But positive outcomes require more than mere wishes; they demand the right mental input. Alongside traditional recommendations like proper diet and exercise, adding a healthy regimen of bright, new self-talk can effectively combat depression.
Capítulo 11
The Science of Lasting Change
All habits-whether helpful or harmful-are simply the result of previous conditioning, programs that stuck. The good news is that all habits can be replaced with new programming through specific self-talk that directs your subconscious to stop one behavior and start another.
For maximum effectiveness, all positive self-talk (except situational self-talk) must be written, read, recorded, listened to, thought, and spoken in the present tense-as though the desired change has already taken place. This gives your subconscious mind a completed picture of the accomplished task. Saying "I'm going to lose weight" only tells your control center "Tomorrow, later, some other time... but for now, keep me like I am." Instead, state your goals in the present: "I don't smoke," "I have a good memory," or "I eat only what I should."
Effective self-talk leaves no stone unturned. Isolate the problem, examine it from every angle, list every area within that problem, and add a line of self-talk to cover each aspect. While few problems can be solved with just one or two phrases, most specific issues can be addressed with about a dozen well-worded self-talk phrases. Self-talk works best when it comprises a specific set of concisely worded directions that jointly paint a detailed picture of the better you that you want to become.
Everything we do is affected directly or indirectly by our attitudes. A change in attitude can impact nearly every aspect of a person's life. Even a small "attitude adjustment" can profoundly affect what we do and how we do it. The better the attitude, the better the results in almost anything we do. Since attitudes are the result of our programming, it makes sense to examine which ones we might want to change.
When responsible for developing attitudes in others-as managers, parents, or teachers-don't expect to change someone's attitude with "carrots or sticks." Using incentives, lectures, or punishment only creates temporary changes in outward behavior, not lasting attitude shifts. Telling someone "You need to change your attitude" is actually counterproductive, as it reconfirms their negative self-beliefs.
Take inventory of your attitudes-good and bad-and decide which ones work for you and which don't. Throw out the ones you don't want, keep the ones you like, and change the ones you want to improve. Take charge of your attitudes and put yourself back in control. Little changes in attitudes can make big changes in life, affecting how you feel about yourself, your work, friends, and loved ones. When your attitudes improve, so does your life.
Capítulo 12
Embracing Your Unlimited Potential
Personal Growth Stasis (PGS) is the ultimate enemy in personal development. It's the state of being stuck between your past and your unlimited future, unable to move forward despite your enthusiasm. PGS occurs when old negative programming is stronger than your new goals, causing you to remain in the status quo. This stasis doesn't just stop growth-it wastes time, drains energy, lowers self-esteem, affects health, creates guilt, keeps you off focus, justifies inaction, prevents goal-setting, makes inaction habitual, reinforces negative programs, causes failure, and robs you of your spirit.
To overcome PGS: First, set a written goal to practice positive self-talk daily and make it permanent (a written goal has a 75% chance of success versus 10% for unwritten goals). Read this goal morning and night for ninety days. Second, listen to self-talk sessions for at least fifteen minutes daily. Third, write down all negative self-talk patterns you want to change. This combination of awareness and focus creates the neural activity needed to wire new directions into your brain.
When considering personal change, trust your innermost mind when it tells you it's time. Shakespeare's "To be or not to be" touches the essence of self-to become or not to become, to achieve or not to achieve, to do or not to do. These questions determine our future and success. It's healthy to assess our progress, asking if we're doing our best or if we'd like something better.
People vary in their desire for change-some want to fix specific problems at home or work, while others are completely fed up and want major life overhauls including new jobs, relationships, or locations. But most attempts at change don't work because people take their old internal selves with them. Changes of heart are as fragile as costume changes in a play. If we carry the same inner identity everywhere, how can we expect different results?
External change happens subtly through relentless waves of outside influence that shape our thinking-expectations, events, policies, relationships, media, advertising, social pressures, and off-hand comments. Though some influences are worthwhile, most create lives of mere survival rather than achievement. We're conditioned to get by, do what we must, and hope for the best, tucking away our childhood dreams.
The most powerful change comes through personal choice. Despite external circumstances, how you respond is entirely up to you. What you decide determines your next step. By taking control of your own thoughts, you can direct your future rather than letting outside influences guide you. Neuroscience confirms that what you determine for yourself creates a life force that transforms dreams into reality.
Learning to manage your mind is life's greatest opportunity. Our greatest adversary has been ourselves-our limiting thoughts creating confined self-portraits. Science now shows that who we are isn't merely genetic chance but largely determined by what we think. Talk to yourself with the right words-make positive self-talk a daily habit. Speak to yourself with kindness, love, strength and determination. You are unlimited as the endless universe, everything you choose to be.
