Capítulo 4
Family Ties and Formative Lessons
The Poitier family tree bore fascinating fruit on every branch, with each relative contributing to Sidney's understanding of human nature. His parents, Reggie and Evelyn Poitier, provided the foundation for his character and worldview. Though they had little formal education under the colonial system, they possessed remarkable wisdom that they passed to their children.
His father, born in 1884, taught him that unlike eagles, humans must carefully prepare each generation to protect the next. His shy but loving mother maintained spiritual practices that retained remnants of their African heritage despite the brutal erasure of their ancestors' culture through slavery. They were soul mates-lovers, friends, and dedicated parents who taught him to swim before he could walk by tossing him into the ocean.
Among his siblings, each faced life's challenges differently. His brother Cedric, a dreamer fixated on reaching America, landed in jail for writing extortion letters and later for attempting to stow away on a ship. Carl, a reclusive longshoreman, struggled with confrontation throughout his life. Cyril successfully stowed away to America, worked with his hands, gained citizenship, and proudly sent all ten of his children to college. Reggie became a cab driver, raising successful children and showing remarkable devotion by caring for his comatose wife for five years until her death.
His sister Teddy held a special place in his heart, doting on him since infancy. When he was twelve in Nassau, a neighborhood bully knocked him unconscious during a confrontation. Teddy carried him home, revived him, then returned and thrashed the bully, warning him never to mess with her brother again. Her fierce protection and independent spirit made a lasting impression on him.
Family relationships weren't always harmonious. When Sidney was nearly eight on Cat Island, an inexplicable conflict erupted between his father and Uncle David, who owned a small grocery shop. One day, Uncle David suddenly attacked his father with stones while hurling threats and curses. His dignified father never threw a stone back, even as he was seriously injured. Years later in Nassau, when Sidney learned of Uncle David's death, he saw the deep sadness in his father's eyes that their rift could never be mended-a powerful lesson about the consequences of unresolved conflict.
Capítulo 5
The Channel Between Want and Need
At fifteen, Sidney left Nassau for America, ill-prepared but carrying a core knowledge of himself that would sustain him through countless trials. His first night in New York, after finding work as a dishwasher at the Turf Club and Bar earning four dollars and change per night, he spent that night sleeping in a pay toilet at the bus station, spending a nickel for shelter.
He wasn't successful managing his meager earnings and ended up sleeping in bus stations and railroad terminals until he found a tiny room in Harlem for five dollars a week. Even then, he struggled with the battle between "want" and "need," with want winning far more often than it should have.
When winter arrived with devastating cold, he wore all his summer clothes at once with only a light jacket. Standing frozen on the elevated train platform at 125th Street, he vowed that someday he'd make it in this world. This led him to join the army before his seventeenth birthday, seeking shelter and regular meals. After one year and eleven days, he returned to Harlem, falling back into the same economic struggles.
By accident, he discovered the American Negro Theatre, and through persistence and luck, landed a role in "Lysistrata" on Broadway. Despite botching his lines on opening night due to stage fright, he received good reviews and caught the attention of producer John Wildberg, who cast him in "Anna Lucasta" at seventy-five dollars a week. Even with this success, he often returned to dishwashing between acting jobs.
Two pivotal events changed his fortunes. First, when the director at the American Negro Theatre threw him out of his audition, bellowing that he should "get a job as a dishwasher" since he couldn't read or talk, he made a life-altering choice. Walking away, he realized the director had assumed dishwashing was his worth without him ever mentioning it. In that moment, he decided to become an actor precisely to prove him wrong.
The second pivotal moment came when a Jewish waiter noticed him struggling with a newspaper and offered to teach him to read. His kindness transformed Sidney's life, though Sidney regretted never properly thanking him after he moved to another job.
Years later, even after his first movie and starting a family, he vowed never again to be washed away by those fierce economic waters between want and need. "I advise you, Ayele," he writes, "to learn the economic rules of the game, maintain your balance with self-reliance, and define your worth in your own terms-not by money's measure."
Capítulo 6
Battling Personal Demons
Throughout his journey to success, Sidney battled various addictions that threatened to derail his progress. He smoked his first cigarette at seventeen while in the army, trying to fit in with the older soldiers. Initially difficult, it soon became a two-pack-a-day addiction he couldn't kick. Drinking followed-casual at first, easing his social tension as a shy guy in Harlem's social world, but gradually slipping into habit and then addiction.
Gambling was his final acquired vice. Unknown in his youth on Cat Island, he developed an interest in cards, dice, and horse racing in New York City. Starting with pinochle among friends, he progressed to poker, blackjack, numbers games, and horse racing. By the time he was earning money as a young actor, he was already a veteran gambler.
He was saved from serious trouble by Bumpy Johnson, a notable Harlem figure with underworld connections. After buying cleaning products from him for his restaurant "Ribs in the Ruff," Bumpy summoned him one day to warn him about the poker games he'd been losing. "I want you to stop playing poker... I know the people you've been playing with, and you can't win there," he told Sidney, directing him instead to the Rhythm Club where games were clean and fair.
As his responsibilities grew with marriage and children, he still gambled but cautiously, setting aside specific amounts based on his earnings. But one night in Nassau, after losing $10,000 in a poker game, he had an epiphany while crossing a bridge under a full moon. Looking toward Cat Island where he grew up, he realized how many family members' college educations that money could have funded. He decided then to quit gambling forever.
His smoking addiction worsened to three packs a day until a frightening nosebleed in Nigeria while filming "The Mark of the Hawk" prompted him to quit. After three weeks without cigarettes, he foolishly tried "just one" in London to prove he had control-and immediately returned to his three-pack habit. The addiction's grip became clear one night when, finding no cigarettes at home, he desperately searched through garbage for butts, then drove to the Bronx in the middle of the night to buy more.
Drinking was his final demon to conquer. Though not an alcoholic, he noticed himself eagerly anticipating wine with dinner when dating Joanna Shimkus. Recognizing the early signs of addiction, he quit cold turkey forty years ago. "We're all human and drawn to pleasures that give excitement or altered states," he reflects. "But habits easily become addictions-often with just one first try. Crossing back might require a lifetime's struggle."
Capítulo 7
Close Calls and Courage
Throughout his life, Sidney faced numerous dangerous situations that could have ended tragically. In Miami at fifteen, he encountered a swarm of cops who forced him to walk fifty blocks back to the black neighborhood, threatening to shoot him. Despite his rage, he suppressed it, knowing that in 1940s Miami he could have ended up dead with little investigation. Later, the Klan came looking for him after he questioned a white woman's segregationist stance when delivering a package. Fortunately, he wasn't home when they arrived, and his family moved him to relatives in another neighborhood.
His army discharge scheme nearly went catastrophically wrong. After working as a physiotherapist at Mason General Hospital, he feigned insanity by throwing a chair at the hospital head and later overturning a food-laden steam table. Weeks of psychiatric sessions and penitence followed before his discharge.
Back in New York, he unwittingly emerged from the subway into a full-blown Harlem riot. Finding himself inside a looted grocery store with police entering, he fled to a storeroom where he played dead when officers searched with flashlights. After escaping, he discovered a bullet wound near his Achilles tendon, which he treated himself before returning to work days later.
In Los Angeles during the mid-1950s, a speeding bus crashed into his car, hurling him and his passengers across a divider into a service station. Though knocked unconscious, they miraculously survived without serious injury. In Acapulco, he nearly drowned when caught in a powerful undercurrent, saved only when a lifeguard finally heard his screams after he'd been dragged under four times.
Perhaps most dangerous was his 1950 experience filming in apartheid South Africa, where using a whites-only bathroom led to a confrontation. Later, his driver Dickie Niaka, suspecting a plot against him, arranged an armed escort to the airport. When cars ambushed them on the highway, Dickie's skilled driving and their protective escort enabled their escape at ninety miles per hour.
These experiences taught him about the thin line between bravery and cowardice. "Cowardice paralyzes with the threat of devastating force-damage to self-image, reputation, plans, or legacy," he writes. "When cornered by threatening forces, cowardice whispers: 'Make a deal for the least harm.' Once you surrender to fear, you're damaged, though sometimes this allows survival to fight another day."
Capítulo 8
People of Courage Who Shaped History
Throughout his letters, Sidney urges Ayele to find heroes and role models from older generations who can inspire her through their character and courage. True courage, he explains, springs from within, requiring one to overcome fear despite potential bodily harm, death, or damage to reputation. This inner strength, he emphasizes, is what distinguishes genuine heroes from those who merely occupy positions of power.
Nelson Mandela stands among his greatest heroes. Sidney nearly met him during a political picnic while filming "Cry, the Beloved Country" in South Africa in 1950, a time when apartheid's grip was tightening. Years later, after Mandela's release from 27 years of imprisonment, he recognized Sidney at an event, calling "Sidney!" and embracing him warmly. They developed a meaningful friendship through several meetings, maintaining correspondence despite Mandela's weakening health. Playing him in the 1997 film "Mandela and de Klerk" was both a profound challenge and honor for Sidney, who spent months studying Mandela's mannerisms, speech patterns, and philosophical outlook to capture his essence authentically.
He also deeply admired Thurgood Marshall, whom he portrayed in film. During America's dangerous years of social unrest, Marshall risked his life entering hostile Southern towns, sometimes sleeping in rooms "away from windows" or being transported in hearses to avoid detection by violent segregationists. His resolution to continue despite mortal danger exemplified extraordinary courage. Marshall argued 32 cases before the Supreme Court, winning 29, including the landmark Brown v. Board of Education case that dismantled legal segregation in schools.
Jackie Robinson showed similar bravery, enduring deliberate pitches thrown at his head, constant death threats, and racial epithets while integrating baseball. They later became close friends, vacationing together in the Bahamas where they would discuss strategies for advancing civil rights. Paul Robeson, an accomplished athlete, musician, and scholar fluent in eight languages, fought tirelessly for disenfranchised Americans despite accusations of Communist ties that eventually destroyed his career. His rendition of "Ol' Man River" became a powerful anthem of resistance.
Lesser-known heroes included educator Reveta Bowers, who transformed private education in Los Angeles, children's advocate Marian Wright Edelman, who founded the Children's Defense Fund, and political trailblazer Barbara Jordan, whose eloquent speech during Nixon's impeachment hearings captivated the nation. Earlier pioneers like Fannie Lou Hamer, who suffered permanent damage from a police beating in Mississippi, and Ida B. Wells, who documented lynchings despite death threats, faced incredible dangers fighting for civil rights. The Little Rock Nine, particularly Elizabeth Eckford who faced an angry mob alone, and university integration pioneers like Charlayne Hunter-Gault displayed extraordinary bravery facing violent opposition and daily harassment.
President Lyndon Johnson deserved greater recognition for using all his political capital to pass civil rights legislation despite being a Southerner, knowing it would cost his party the South for generations. Similarly, Republican Chief Justice Earl Warren fought tremendous battles to achieve the unanimous 1954 school desegregation decision, working tirelessly to convince every justice to join the opinion. African independence leaders like Kwame Nkrumah of Ghana, Jomo Kenyatta of Kenya, and Julius Nyerere of Tanzania stood brave against colonial powers with overwhelming force, each developing unique approaches to nation-building while facing both external pressures and internal challenges.
Capítulo 9
The World I Leave You
In his final letters, Sidney acknowledges the fractured world he's leaving to Ayele's generation-one far more threatening to human survival than when he was young, with weapons that can destroy entire cities, ongoing wars, genocide, terrorism, street violence, financial uncertainty, greed, and lingering racism.
Yet he remains hopeful, noting that despite similar slim odds against early human survival-no language, scientific knowledge, or protection from nature's forces-we endured. We evolved bartering systems, made geographical discoveries, developed stunning science and social structures. "There's never been a perfect period for human existence," he observes. "When I was born in 1927, life was meager for my family while much of the world suffered."
The world today offers different opportunities than in his youth. When he was born, global population was just 2 billion (compared to today's nearly 8 billion), and death was frequent. On Cat Island, they had no modern medicine, not even aspirin-only remedies from forest plants. A black man then could expect to live only forty years, yet he lived to eighty-one, benefiting from medical advances, healthier lifestyles, luck and geography.
At sixteen, he saw no opportunities for himself-until serendipity led him to that newspaper with "Actors Wanted." He had no education or tools, just what he'd learned from listening to others. Curiosity became his friend, and he learned that survival rested with him. Through trial and error, he discovered how to manage on fifteen dollars a week.
Ayele, at fifteen, will have tremendous advantages-twelve years of strong education, understanding of the world, mathematical knowledge, history, geography, and medicine. She'll be nearly independent, resourceful, conversant with communications and vast fields of information. He hopes she'll aspire to be at the table where big questions are addressed, understanding the world's strengths and frailties, questioning where power isn't used for humanity's benefit.
"In these letters, I leave an imprint of who I was-my values, beliefs, understandings and misunderstandings, times I was right or wrong," he writes. "I leave you the music that played whenever I put my ear to the universe's mysteries. Life offers no guarantees, and we'll sometimes get lost and stand alone. But the tools for meeting life head-on are acquired knowledge, belief, and hope. Learn as much as you can about as much as you can-the great disease of mankind is ignorance."
With knowledge comes belief: that you can be better, that the world can be better. With that comes hope-the eternal tool in mankind's survival kit. "We hope for luck, for a better tomorrow, we hope to somehow get out of this world alive. And if we can't and don't, then it is enough to rejoice in our short time here and to remember how much we loved the view."
