42:54 Lena: Miles, we've covered so much ground today about reparenting and healing the inner child. I'm wondering if we could put together some practical next steps for our listeners who are feeling inspired to begin this journey.
2:44 Miles: Absolutely. I think it's important to remember that reparenting is a practice, not a destination. It's something you develop over time through consistent, small actions rather than one big transformation.
43:19 Lena: Where should someone start if this is all new to them?
43:22 Miles: I'd suggest starting with awareness. For the next week, just notice how you talk to yourself, especially during challenging moments. Don't try to change anything yet—just observe. Are you harsh or kind? Critical or supportive? This awareness is the foundation for everything else.
43:40 Lena: That's such a gentle way to begin. What might someone notice during that week of observation?
43:46 Miles: They might be surprised by how mean they are to themselves, or how automatic those critical thoughts are. Some people realize they would never speak to a friend the way they speak to themselves. That recognition is actually the beginning of compassion.
44:01 Lena: Once someone has that awareness, what's the next step?
44:04 Miles: Start experimenting with speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a beloved child or dear friend. When you catch yourself being self-critical, pause and ask: "What would I say to someone I love who was going through this?" Then try offering yourself those same words.
44:20 Lena: Can you give us a specific example of how that might work in a real situation?
21:33 Miles: Sure. Let's say you're running late for an important meeting and you catch yourself thinking, "I'm such an idiot, I can never get anywhere on time." You might pause and reframe it: "I'm feeling stressed about being late. That's understandable. Let me take a breath and figure out the best way to handle this situation."
44:42 Lena: That shift from attacking yourself to supporting yourself—it seems so simple but probably feels revolutionary for some people.
44:50 Miles: It really can be. Many people have been in an abusive relationship with themselves for so long that kindness feels foreign at first. But just like any relationship, it gets easier with practice.
45:01 Lena: What about connecting with the inner child specifically? How might someone start that process?
45:07 Miles: I'd suggest starting with curiosity rather than trying to fix anything. You might look at a childhood photo and simply ask: "What was life like for you then? What did you need that you didn't get?" Just listen without trying to solve anything immediately.
45:22 Lena: And if someone feels disconnected from their childhood or can't access those memories?
45:28 Miles: That's completely normal and often protective. You might start by asking: "What would a child need to feel safe and loved?" Then begin offering those things to yourself now—consistency, gentleness, playfulness, validation. You don't need to access specific memories to begin reparenting.
45:47 Lena: What about daily practices? Are there simple things people can incorporate into their routine?
13:02 Miles: Definitely. Morning check-ins can be powerful—just asking yourself: "How are you feeling today? What do you need from me?" Evening reflections work too: "How did I treat myself today? What went well? What could I do differently tomorrow?"
46:08 Lena: Those sound manageable. What about when someone hits resistance or finds this work difficult?
46:15 Miles: Resistance is completely normal and often indicates you're touching something important. If you feel angry or sad or want to quit, that's information. You might acknowledge it: "I notice I'm feeling resistant to being kind to myself. That makes sense given what I learned growing up. I'm going to be gentle with this resistance too."
46:35 Lena: So even the resistance becomes part of the practice?
1:04 Miles: Exactly. Everything that comes up can be met with curiosity and compassion. There's no way to do reparenting "wrong" as long as you're approaching yourself with kindness.
46:48 Lena: What about getting support? When might someone want to work with a therapist?
46:53 Miles: If you have a history of significant trauma, or if doing this work brings up overwhelming emotions or memories, professional support can be really helpful. A therapist trained in inner child work or attachment-based therapy can provide guidance and safety for deeper healing.
47:08 Lena: Are there specific signs that suggest someone might benefit from professional help?
47:13 Miles: If you find yourself feeling consistently overwhelmed, having flashbacks, or if your daily functioning is significantly impacted, those would be good indicators. Also, if you've tried self-reparenting practices and feel stuck or unable to access self-compassion, a therapist can help you work through those blocks.
47:32 Lena: What would you say to someone who feels like their childhood wasn't "bad enough" to warrant this kind of work?
47:38 Miles: I'd say that everyone deserves to have a loving, supportive relationship with themselves, regardless of how "bad" their childhood was. If you're drawn to this work, if something in our conversation resonated, that's enough reason to explore it. You don't need to qualify for healing.
47:54 Lena: That's such an important message. What about maintaining momentum? How do people stick with this when it gets challenging?
48:02 Miles: Remember that this is a long-term practice, not a quick fix. There will be days when you forget to be kind to yourself, or when the old critical patterns feel stronger. That's all part of the process. The goal isn't perfection—it's progress and self-compassion along the way.
48:19 Lena: Any final thoughts for our listeners who might be feeling inspired but also a little overwhelmed by all of this?
48:25 Miles: Start small, be patient with yourself, and remember that every moment is a new opportunity to choose kindness toward yourself. You've survived 100% of your difficult days so far—you're stronger and more resilient than you know. This work is about honoring that strength while also giving yourself the tenderness you deserve.
48:45 Lena: As we wrap up today's conversation, I'm struck by how revolutionary this idea really is—that we can become the parents we needed, that we can heal those deep childhood wounds, and that it's never too late to start. Miles, thank you for such a rich and compassionate exploration of reparenting.
49:06 Miles: Thank you, Lena. And to everyone listening, remember that your inner child has been waiting patiently for this kind of attention and care. They're ready whenever you are. Be gentle with yourself as you begin or continue this journey—you're doing something incredibly brave and important.
49:22 Lena: We'd love to hear how this conversation has landed for you and what insights or questions it's sparked. Feel free to reach out and let us know how your reparenting journey unfolds. Until next time, be kind to yourselves.