25:00 Miles: Okay Lena, so we've talked about all these beautiful concepts around authentic healing, but I think our listeners are probably wondering: "This all sounds great, but what do I actually do with this information?"
25:13 Lena: Right, because understanding is one thing, but implementation is where the real transformation happens. And what I love about Hartson's approach is that it's not about following someone else's program—it's about creating your own practice based on what actually works for you.
1:42 Miles: Exactly. So let's break this down into some practical starting points. First, I think it's about getting honest about where you actually are, not where you think you should be.
25:39 Lena: Yes! That reality check is so important. Like, instead of asking "Why aren't I over this yet?" you might ask "What am I actually feeling right now, and what might that be telling me?"
25:50 Miles: And that requires developing what we might call emotional literacy—the ability to identify and name what you're experiencing without immediately trying to change it.
26:01 Lena: Which is harder than it sounds, especially if you've spent years in survival mode or people-pleasing mode where your job was to manage everyone else's emotions instead of feeling your own.
10:19 Miles: Right. So a practical starting point might be setting aside just five minutes a day to check in with yourself. Not to fix anything, just to notice. "What's happening in my body right now? What emotions am I aware of? What do I need?"
26:27 Lena: And being willing to hear answers you might not like. Because sometimes the honest answer is "I need to cry," or "I need to be alone," or "I need to stop pretending I'm okay with this situation."
26:39 Miles: Which brings us to boundaries. And I think Hartson's approach to boundaries is really practical because it's not about being mean or cold—it's about being honest about your capacity.
7:48 Lena: Exactly. So instead of saying yes to everything and then resenting it, you practice saying things like "I care about you and I don't have the bandwidth for this right now," or "I need some time to think about that before I commit."
27:04 Miles: And recognizing that boundary-setting is a skill that gets easier with practice. You don't have to be perfect at it right away.
9:04 Lena: Right. And this connects to something really important about working with triggers and emotional spirals. Instead of trying to avoid them completely, you can develop tools for moving through them more skillfully.
27:22 Miles: Like learning to recognize the early warning signs—the body sensations, the thought patterns, the environmental factors that tend to precede difficult emotional states.
27:34 Lena: And then having a toolkit ready. Maybe it's breathing techniques, maybe it's calling a trusted friend, maybe it's going for a walk, maybe it's journaling. The key is having options that you've already practiced when you're in a calm state.
27:49 Miles: And speaking of journaling, I think Hartson's approach to this is really valuable. It's not about gratitude lists or positive affirmations—though those can be nice. It's about honest self-inquiry.
9:04 Lena: Right. Questions like "What am I avoiding right now?" or "What would I do if I trusted myself completely?" or "What story am I telling myself about this situation, and is it actually true?"
28:14 Miles: And being willing to write messy, angry, confused responses. Because sometimes the most healing thing you can do is let yourself be completely honest on the page.
28:28 Lena: Which brings us to something crucial—building a support system that can handle your authenticity. Because if you're going to stop performing wellness, you need people around you who won't try to fix you or manage your emotions.
1:42 Miles: Exactly. And this might mean having some difficult conversations with existing relationships or seeking out new connections—whether that's friends, support groups, or professional help.
28:53 Lena: And recognizing that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of wisdom. It's recognizing that healing happens in relationship, not in isolation.
29:03 Miles: For our listeners who are just starting this journey, I'd say start small. Pick one thing—maybe it's the daily check-ins, maybe it's setting one boundary, maybe it's writing for ten minutes a day. And be gentle with yourself as you practice.
29:18 Lena: Because remember, this isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming more yourself. And that's a lifelong practice, not a destination.