Permission to Feel
The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success
Overview of Permission to Feel
Discover why emotions aren't weakness but power in Marc Brackett's game-changing bestseller. Endorsed by Brene Brown, this Yale psychologist's guide has transformed schools, businesses, and military training. What untapped potential lies buried beneath your unexplored feelings?
Key Themes in Permission to Feel
- emotional literacy
- ruler framework
- affective science
- emotional regulation strategies
- social emotional learning
Quotes from Permission to Feel
Emotions aren't obstacles to intelligence-they're a fundamental form of intelligence themselves.
Emotions aren't separate from our decision-making process-they're integral to it.
This book doesn't just explain feelings - it provides the permission slip you never knew you needed to fully experience life.
Creativity breathes vitality into our existence, allowing us to engage fully with the world around us.
Emotions also profoundly impact our relationships, determining whether we approach or avoid others.
Characters in Permission to Feel
- Marc BrackettAuthor and founder of Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence
- Uncle MarvinThe author's uncle who first validated his feelings
About the Author
About the Author of Permission to Feel
Marc Brackett, Ph.D., bestselling author of Permission to Feel and a leading expert in emotional intelligence, is the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor at Yale University’s Child Study Center. His groundbreaking work in psychology and education revolves around understanding emotions, improving mental health, and fostering social-emotional skills in schools, workplaces, and daily life.
As the creator of the evidence-based RULER approach—adopted by over 5,000 schools worldwide—Brackett has spent decades researching how emotional intelligence enhances decision-making, relationships, and well-being.
A frequent contributor to The New York Times and The Washington Post, Brackett has appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show, and TED Talks, cementing his role as a trusted voice in mental health advocacy. He co-founded OjiLifeLab, a corporate emotional intelligence platform, and co-created the award-winning HowWeFeel app with Pinterest’s Ben Silbermann.
Permission to Feel, translated into 25 languages, has become a global resource for educators, parents, and professionals, praised for bridging scientific rigor with actionable strategies. Brackett’s work is utilized by organizations like Google and the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), where he serves on the board.
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FAQs About This Book
Permission to Feel explores emotional intelligence through Marc Brackett’s RULER framework (Recognize, Understand, Label, Express, Regulate), offering science-backed strategies to manage emotions for personal and professional success. The book combines research from Yale’s Center for Emotional Intelligence with relatable anecdotes, emphasizing how emotional awareness improves relationships, mental health, and decision-making.
This book is ideal for educators, parents, workplace leaders, and anyone seeking to improve emotional literacy. It provides actionable tools for fostering empathy, reducing stress, and creating emotionally supportive environments at home, school, or work.
Yes—readers praise its blend of academic rigor and accessibility. Brackett’s RULER method is widely used in schools and organizations, making it a practical guide for lifelong emotional growth. Over 85% of educators in one study reported improved classroom dynamics after applying its principles.
RULER is Brackett’s five-step framework:
- Recognize emotions in oneself and others.
- Understand their causes.
- Label them precisely.
- Express them contextually.
- Regulate them effectively.
This approach helps transform emotions from obstacles into tools for success.
Brackett argues that ignoring emotions leads to long-term harm, comparing suppression to “a debt that eventually comes due.” He shares his childhood experience of numbness and how teacher Marvin’s intervention—“How are you feeling?”—helped him heal, underscoring the power of validation.
The Mood Meter is a tool to categorize emotions across four quadrants (energy and pleasantness levels). It helps users identify feelings like “joyful” vs. “content” or “anxious” vs. “angry,” promoting nuanced emotional awareness.
Brackett advocates for creating a “Family Charter” to define desired emotional norms at home. Parents learn to model RULER principles, helping children articulate feelings like frustration instead of acting out, fostering resilience and empathy.
- “Emotions are information.”
- “Labeling emotions is the first step to mastering them.”
These emphasize treating feelings as data, not weaknesses, and the importance of precise vocabulary for emotional clarity.
While Goleman’s work popularized EQ, Brackett’s book offers a structured system (RULER) with practical steps for daily use. It also integrates modern challenges like digital communication’s impact on emotional literacy.
Yes—it provides strategies for leaders to reduce burnout and improve teamwork. Examples include using “emotion check-ins” before meetings and regulating stress through techniques like mindful breathing.
Some note the RULER method requires consistent practice to see results, which may challenge busy individuals. However, studies show even partial adoption improves emotional awareness and reduces conflict.
Regulation involves choosing strategies (e.g., reframing thoughts, physical activity) to align emotions with goals. Brackett stresses this isn’t suppression but proactive management, like using anger to fuel productive problem-solving.
