What to Say When You Talk to Yourself by Shad Helmstetter Summary

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Shad Helmstetter is a classic personal development book that explores how self-talk shapes our life outcomes. The book reveals that our internal dialogue acts as the primary programming source directing our success or failure, and provides practical methods to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Helmstetter identifies specific self-talk words and phrases that most impact our individual programming and offers actionable solutions to reprogram your mindset.

Dr. Shad Helmstetter is a pioneering behavioral researcher and the international bestselling author of over 20 books in personal growth. He holds a Ph.D. in motivational psychology from Southwest University and is recognized as the dean of self-talk research. Helmstetter created the first professional self-talk audio programs in 1981 and founded The Self-Talk Institute and The Life Coach Institute. His books are published in over 70 countries, and he has appeared on major media outlets including Oprah Winfrey, ABC, CBS, and NBC.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self is ideal for anyone struggling with negative self-talk, self-sabotaging behaviors, or low confidence. The book benefits people facing major life transitions like divorce, career changes, or personal challenges. It's particularly valuable for individuals dealing with procrastination, difficulty achieving goals, weight loss struggles, or morning motivation issues. Anyone seeking to overcome internal obstacles and reprogram their mindset for success will find practical value in Helmstetter's framework.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self is worth reading for its groundbreaking insights on how self-talk programs our behavior and success. Readers report life-changing results, with many noting increased awareness of their internal dialogue and improved confidence. However, some criticize the book for feeling repetitive and including promotional content for the author's audio programs. Despite being published in 1986, the core concepts remain relevant and offer practical self-talk phrases you can immediately apply to change your mental programming.

The main concept in What to Say When You Talk to Your Self is that self-talk acts as the primary programming source controlling our life path and personal effectiveness. Helmstetter argues that the words we say to ourselves create our reality, functioning like software that programs our brain to either succeed or fail. The book teaches that by consciously replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations using specific phrases, we can reprogram our mental patterns and change our behaviors, attitudes, and outcomes.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self provides numerous self-talk examples throughout the book, particularly in the final section. The book includes specific positive affirmations readers can adopt and customize to their needs. Helmstetter emphasizes phrases that counter negative programming and reinforce desired behaviors and attitudes. The self-talk statements are designed to be repeated regularly to create new neural pathways and replace destructive internal dialogue with constructive, empowering language that supports personal growth and goal achievement.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self teaches that changing negative thoughts requires consistently replacing destructive self-talk with positive affirmations. The book explains that our brains accept whatever programming we input, whether negative or positive, and act accordingly. Helmstetter provides a straightforward method: identify negative self-talk patterns, consciously interrupt them, and substitute constructive phrases. The process involves having intentional conversations with yourself, either internally or out loud, using specific self-talk scripts to rewire your mental programming over time through repetition.

The primary criticism of What to Say When You Talk to Your Self is that it feels like an extended sales pitch for Helmstetter's audio programs, with reviewers noting this undermines the book's credibility. Critics argue the 160-page book could be significantly shorter, with excessive repetition and unnecessary verbiage. Some readers feel the book oversimplifies complex issues by suggesting mindset alone solves all problems, ignoring external factors like social issues, health conditions, and circumstances beyond personal control. The first half focusing on what NOT to say can feel tedious before reaching actionable advice.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self introduces concepts that align with neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to form new neural connections. Helmstetter explains that consistent positive self-talk creates new thought patterns and behavioral pathways in the brain. While the book was published before neuroplasticity became mainstream, its core premise that we can reprogram our minds through repetitive self-talk matches current neuroscience understanding. The author later explicitly addressed this connection in his subsequent book titled The Power of Neuroplasticity, expanding on the scientific foundations of how self-talk rewires the brain.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self is Shad Helmstetter's foundational 1986 classic that introduced self-talk concepts to the general public. The Self-Talk Solution is a subsequent book that builds on these principles, providing additional frameworks and applications. While What to Say When You Talk to Your Self establishes the core theory and explains how self-talk programming works, The Self-Talk Solution offers expanded practical solutions and implementation strategies. Both books are part of Helmstetter's comprehensive self-talk library, which also includes specialized titles like Self-Talk for Weight-Loss addressing specific life areas.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self provides a universal framework applicable to any personal goal, including weight loss, career advancement, and habit change. The book's self-talk principles work by reprogramming the internal beliefs and attitudes that drive behavior in any life area. Readers report using the techniques for overcoming procrastination, morning motivation, exercise consistency, and professional challenges. Helmstetter later wrote specialized applications like Self-Talk for Weight-Loss, but the original book offers foundational concepts that readers can customize to their specific objectives by creating targeted self-talk phrases.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self remains relevant in 2025 because its core message about the power of internal dialogue transcends time and aligns with modern neuroscience research. The book's principles about mental programming apply universally to contemporary challenges like remote work transitions, AI-driven career shifts, and digital-age stress. While some examples may feel dated, the fundamental concept that we become what we consistently tell ourselves continues to resonate. The rise of mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy, and positive psychology has validated Helmstetter's 1986 insights, making the book's teachings even more scientifically supported today.