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The Science of Finding and Keeping Love: Chemistry vs Connection

clock9 min

Discover the neuroscience behind lasting relationships as we distill insights from the Gottmans' 5:1 ratio, Helen Fisher's chemistry research, and Esther Perel's desire paradox. Learn why attachment patterns can change and how small daily habits create relationship resilience beyond the initial spark.

The Science of Finding and Keeping Love: Chemistry vs Connection
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How This Personalized Podcast Was Made

This podcast was created using BeFreed’s AI, based on selected books, the creator’s learning goals, and their preferred tone.

Technology hasn’t changed love. Here’s why.
link
https://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_technology_hasn_t_changed_love_here_s_why
The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61386877-the-good-life
Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
link
https://www.befreed.ai/book/come-as-you-are-by-emily-nagoski
Modern Wisdom with Chris Williamson
link
https://www.tapesearch.com/episode/931-arthur-brooks-harvard-professor-reveals-the-secret-to-lasting-love-happiness/BdUUAJU4AsxiFRMmiXNFfX
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
link
https://www.befreed.ai/book/attached-by-amir-levine
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
link
https://www.befreed.ai/book/eight-dates-by-john-gottman
The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy
link
https://www.befreed.ai/book/the-love-prescription-by-john-gottman
Shortened sleep fuels inflammatory responses to marital conflict: Emotion regulation matters
link
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5419294/
Over nearly 80 years, Harvard study has been showing how to live a healthy and happy life
link
https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
link
https://www.befreed.ai/book/mating-in-captivity-by-esther-perel
What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness
link
https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness
Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
link
https://www.befreed.ai/book/love-sense-by-susan-m-johnson
The Four Horsemen: Contempt
link
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-contempt/
Huberman Lab Podcast
link
https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/the-science-of-love-desire-and-attachment
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/71730.Nonviolent_Communication
Investigating the impact of partner phubbing on romantic jealousy and relationship satisfaction: The moderating role of attachment anxiety
link
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407521996454
Modern Wisdom with Chris Williamson
link
https://www.audioscrape.com/podcast/modern-wisdom/episode/926---ty-tashiro---how-to-find-the-love-of-your-life
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
link
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esther_Perel
Wired for Love
link
https://www.befreed.ai/book/wired-for-love-by-stan-tatkin
My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone: Partner phubbing and relationship satisfaction among romantic partners
link
https://colab.ws/articles/10.1016%2Fj.chb.2015.07.058
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54899.The_Seven_Principles_for_Making_Marriage_Work
The secret to desire in a long‑term relationship
link
https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship
The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science
link
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/
The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
link
https://www.befreed.ai/book/the-relationship-cure-by-mark-gottman
Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality
link
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10707334/
The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work
link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34079504-the-all-or-nothing-marriage
How anxious and avoidant attachment affect romantic relationship quality differently: A meta‑analytic review
link
https://ouci.dntb.gov.ua/en/works/7nJaPqy7/
The Man’s Guide to Women
link
https://www.befreed.ai/book/the-mans-guide-to-women-by-john-gottman
WorkLife with Adam Grant
link
https://adamgrant.net/podcast/the-science-of-healthy-relationships-with-john-and-julie-gottman/
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Input question

What makes relationships last beyond the initial chemistry?

Podcast Style
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"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
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likes117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
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comments12
likes108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments254
likes17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
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"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments96
likes4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
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"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
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comments201
thumbsUp16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
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"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments37
likes483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
platform
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"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments12
likes117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments12
likes108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments254
likes17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments96
likes4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
platform
comments201
thumbsUp16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments37
likes483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
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