The Meaning of Marriage Study Guide by Timothy Keller & Kathy Keller Summary

The Meaning of Marriage Study Guide explores marriage as a covenant rooted in biblical principles, emphasizing sacrificial love, mutual submission, and spiritual growth. It challenges modern views by framing marriage as a partnership where spouses serve each other and God, addressing topics like roles, singleness, and sexual intimacy. The guide combines theological insights with practical exercises for couples and groups.

This guide is ideal for Christian couples seeking a biblically grounded approach to marriage, singles exploring relationships, and small groups studying marital dynamics. It also benefits counselors or pastors advising on marriage, offering tools to navigate commitment, conflict, and spiritual growth within a faith-based framework.

Key themes include:

• Marriage as a covenant reflecting Christ’s relationship with the church.
• Sacrificial service over self-fulfillment, with exercises like daily acts of kindness.
• Biblical roles for husbands and wives, emphasizing mutual respect and leadership.
• Friendship in marriage, fostering emotional and spiritual intimacy.

Keller describes sacrificial love as prioritizing a spouse’s needs above one’s own, mirroring Christ’s selfless devotion. This includes practical service (e.g., asking, “How can I help you today?”) and emotional support, which counters selfishness and strengthens relational bonds.

It outlines complementary roles: husbands lead through Christ-like sacrifice, while wives submit respectfully. These roles reject cultural stereotypes, focusing on mutual empowerment and shared spiritual growth rather than hierarchy.

Singleness is portrayed as equally valuable to marriage, offering freedom to serve God and community. The guide encourages churches to support singles through inclusion and meaningful ministry opportunities.

Exercises focus on service, communication, and spiritual habits:

• Daily service check-ins (“How can I serve you?”).
• Scripture-based reflections on covenant and forgiveness.
• Conflict resolution frameworks grounded in humility.

It counters modern skepticism by arguing that biblical marriage provides stability through covenant commitment, contrasting with transient relationships. Keller acknowledges challenges but frames them as opportunities for spiritual refinement.

Unlike secular self-help guides, it ties marital success to spiritual discipline, not compatibility. The focus on covenantal faithfulness, rather than romance, offers a countercultural vision backed by theological depth.

Friendship is the foundation, with spouses acting as “spiritual allies” who foster growth through trust, shared goals, and emotional safety. The guide uses the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. acronym (Fruitful, Reciprocal, Intimate, etc.) to outline traits of enduring marital bonds.

Yes. Its emphasis on commitment, service, and community addresses modern isolation and transactional relationships. The guide’s timeless biblical principles adapt to cultural shifts, making it a resource for navigating contemporary marital challenges.

It expands on themes in The Meaning of Marriage with structured exercises, group discussion prompts, and deeper dives into scriptural analysis. While the original book outlines theory, the study guide focuses on practical application.