What is
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller about?
The Meaning of Marriage explores marriage as a covenant designed to foster spiritual growth and mutual support, countering modern individualistic views. Keller argues that marriage unites two flawed individuals to create a "haven in a heartless world," emphasizing commitment over fleeting emotions. The book blends biblical theology (Ephesians 5, Genesis 2) with practical advice on forgiveness, grace, and friendship.
Who should read
The Meaning of Marriage?
Engaged or married couples, Christians seeking a theological perspective on marriage, and anyone interested in countercultural insights on lasting relationships. Keller’s work is particularly valuable for those navigating unrealistic expectations about romantic compatibility or grappling with the challenges of self-sacrifice in partnerships.
Is
The Meaning of Marriage worth reading?
Yes. The book offers a profound blend of biblical wisdom and actionable advice, addressing modern marital challenges like individualism and unrealistic expectations. Keller’s emphasis on covenant over convenience and his focus on mutual spiritual growth provide a refreshing alternative to secular relationship guides.
What are the main concepts in
The Meaning of Marriage?
Key ideas include:
- Covenant commitment: Marriage as a durable bond blending law and love
- Spiritual friendship: Partners helping each other grow into "the persons God designed them to be"
- Grace and repentance: Essential practices for resolving conflicts and sustaining intimacy
What are notable quotes from
The Meaning of Marriage?
- “Two spiritual friends helping each other on their journey to become the persons God designed them to be” – encapsulating marriage’s purpose
- “Actions of love lead to feelings of love” – highlighting the priority of commitment over emotion
How does Timothy Keller address modern challenges in marriage?
Keller critiques the shift from “we” to “me,” where marriage is seen as a vehicle for personal fulfillment rather than mutual sacrifice. He counters unrealistic expectations (e.g., seeking a “perfect” partner) with data showing that 2/3 of unhappy marriages become happy if couples stay committed.
What role does friendship play in Keller’s view of marriage?
Keller positions spiritual friendship as central, where spouses transparently support each other’s growth. This involves confessing weaknesses, bearing burdens, and jointly pursuing ministry—a dynamic deeper than romantic affection.
How does Keller explain the covenant aspect of marriage?
A covenant combines legal durability with loving intimacy, mirroring God’s relationship with humanity. Unlike contracts, it’s unconditional, requiring spouses to prioritize commitment even when feelings fade.
What practical advice does Keller offer for sustaining marriage?
- Practice daily forgiveness and repentance
- Prioritize shared spiritual goals over individual desires
- View conflicts as opportunities for growth rather than threats
How does Keller use biblical references in
The Meaning of Marriage?
He anchors his arguments in Ephesians 5 (marriage reflecting Christ’s love for the Church) and Genesis 2 (God’s design for unity). These texts frame marriage as a sacred partnership with redemptive purpose.
Are there criticisms of
The Meaning of Marriage?
Some may find its heavy reliance on Christian theology less applicable to secular audiences. However, its insights on selflessness and communication are broadly relevant, even if rooted in biblical principles.
How does
The Meaning of Marriage compare to other relationship books?
Unlike secular guides focused on compatibility or psychology, Keller’s work offers a theological framework for enduring love. It complements books like The 5 Love Languages by addressing deeper spiritual and covenantal dimensions.