The Five Core Conversations for Couples by David Bulitt & Julie Bulitt Summary

The Five Core Conversations for Couples provides actionable guidance on strengthening relationships through five key topics: building emotional connection, managing finances, navigating intimacy, co-parenting effectively, and maintaining personal balance. Co-authored by divorce lawyer David Bulitt and family therapist Julie Bulitt, it blends legal insights, therapeutic strategies, and decades of marital experience to help couples avoid common pitfalls.

This book is ideal for couples at any relationship stage—newly dating, engaged, or married for decades—as well as those facing conflicts over parenting, communication breakdowns, or financial stress. It’s also valuable for professionals advising couples, such as therapists or coaches, seeking practical frameworks.

Yes—the book reached Amazon bestseller status, won multiple awards, and offers concise, research-backed advice. Readers praise its engaging format (short chapters with discussion questions) and the authors’ contrasting yet complementary perspectives as a divorce lawyer and therapist.

1. Building/Filling the Relationship: Cultivating emotional intimacy.
2. Money: Aligning financial priorities transparently.
3. Sex: Navigating physical and emotional intimacy challenges.
4. Parenting: Coordinating styles and resolving co-parenting conflicts.
5. Balance: Managing individual needs versus partnership obligations.

Unlike abstract theories, it combines real-world legal cases (David’s divorce practice) and therapeutic techniques (Julie’s clinical work). The “dual perspective” format—contrasting a lawyer’s blunt realism with a therapist’s empathy—provides balanced solutions.

Each chapter ends with discussion prompts like “How do we define ‘financial security’ differently?” and actionable steps, such as creating a “balance calendar” to schedule personal and joint priorities. It also includes conflict de-escalation scripts.

Yes—it addresses high-stakes issues like resentment buildup and mismatched parenting goals. The “Listen to Julie so you don’t need to talk to David” approach emphasizes proactive communication to avoid disputes escalating into legal battles.

“If people were nicer in how they spoke to their partner, couples would do a lot less fighting and there would be a lot fewer divorces.” This reflects the book’s emphasis on kindness and clarity in dialogue.

David’s 35+ years as a divorce attorney expose common marital dealbreakers, while Julie’s therapy practice provides tools to repair relationships. Their co-writing process—Julie generating ideas, David refining them—mirrors the book’s teamwork theme.

Yes—the Bulitts draw from their experience raising two biological and two adopted children, offering strategies for managing loyalty conflicts, sibling dynamics, and co-parenting with ex-partners.

The main text is 240 pages, readable in 4–6 hours. The concise chapters and question-and-answer sections make it suitable for incremental discussion over weeks.

An audiobook narrated by the authors (Dreamscape Media) and a downloadable discussion workbook are available, ideal for couples preferring guided audio formats or interactive exercises.