Relationship Goals book cover

Relationship Goals by Michael Todd Summary

Relationship Goals
Michael Todd
4.09 (7188 Reviews)
Inspiration
Self-growth
Communication skill

Pastor Michael Todd's viral sensation turned #1 NYT bestseller transforms relationships through divine principles. Praised by Levi Lusko as a "game changer," this 10/10-rated guide sparked millions of YouTube views. What sacred truth about love have you been missing?

Key takeaways

1

The Instagram Illusion: What #RelationshipGoals Really Means

play
00:00
00:00

Scroll through Instagram for five minutes and you'll see them everywhere-couples in matching outfits, surprise proposals at sunset, breakfast in bed with rose petals. The #RelationshipGoals hashtag has over 10 million posts painting romance as a highlight reel of perfect moments. But here's the uncomfortable truth: most of these curated snapshots hide chaos behind the camera. The couple sharing a candlelit dinner might have fought bitterly an hour before. The "spontaneous" beach kiss took seventeen takes to get the lighting right. This disconnect between perception and reality creates dangerous expectations. We're chasing relationships that look good online rather than relationships that feel good in real life. Growing up in Tulsa, Michael Todd learned about relationships primarily from TV shows and movies-not exactly reliable sources. Most of us receive similar "education," absorbing romantic ideals from entertainment rather than wisdom from mentors. The church often contributes to this knowledge gap by offering only basic prohibitions without practical guidance. We're told what not to do but rarely shown what healthy relationships actually look like. The result? We drift through dating without purpose, taking whatever comes rather than intentionally pursuing what's right. Real relationship goals require aim, not just ambition-a target aligned with divine design rather than cultural trends.

2

The Original Relationship: Why God Comes First

3

Single And Whole: The Power Of Preparation

4

Dating As Transportation: Getting Somewhere With Purpose

5

Breaking Up Without Breaking Down: When To Walk Away

6

The Invisible Chains: Understanding Soul Ties And Sexual Bonding

7

Building The Triangle: Marriage As Divine Partnership

About the author

Michael Todd, bestselling author of Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex, is a faith-driven leadership expert and dynamic pastor renowned for his transformative insights on modern relationships.

As co-lead pastor of Oklahoma’s multi-campus Transformation Church, Todd merges biblical principles with cultural relevance, addressing themes of love, commitment, and spiritual growth in his work. His viral “Relationship Goals” sermon series, which garnered over 6 million views, laid the foundation for this New York Times bestseller that spent 13 consecutive weeks on the list.

Todd further expands his impact through other faith-centered books like Crazy Faith and Damaged But Not Destroyed, which explore radical trust and resilience. His relatable, multimedia-friendly approach has led to collaborations with figures like producer DeVon Franklin, adapting Relationship Goals into an Amazon Studios romantic comedy.

With a global audience exceeding 20,000 weekly viewers and a 5,000-member congregation, Todd’s work continues to redefine faith-based guidance for contemporary audiences.

Discover more

The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz: Book Summary & Key Insights
BLOG

The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz: Book Summary & Key Insights

Unlock deeper self-love and healthier relationships with this summary of The Mastery of Love—key insights to transform how you give and receive love.

BeFreed Team

Books Recommended by Kevin Trudeau
BOOKS

Books Recommended by Kevin Trudeau

Unlock wealth, influence, and mindset mastery with this book recommendation list from Kevin Trudeau on success, attraction, and personal power.

Befreed team

Books Recommended by Craig Groeschel
BOOKS

Books Recommended by Craig Groeschel

Explore Craig Groeschel’s top recommended books on leadership, personal growth, and faith-based wisdom for building stronger habits, teams, and purpose-driven lives.

Befreed team

Books Recommended by Michael Knowles
BOOKS

Books Recommended by Michael Knowles

Explore Michael Knowles’ top recommended books—classics and contemporary works that defend truth, virtue, and the enduring principles of Western civilization.

Befreed team

The Best Marketing Books
BOOKS

The Best Marketing Books

Explore books about sex that empower—covering pleasure, communication, consent, and intimacy for healthier relationships.

Befreed team

Books Recommended by Tom Bilyeu
BOOKS

Books Recommended by Tom Bilyeu

Unlock your potential with top non-fiction books Tom Bilyeu recommends—build discipline, master mindset, and level up your life.

Befreed team

The Best Books About Sex and Relationships
BOOKS

The Best Books About Sex and Relationships

Explore books about sex that empower—covering pleasure, communication, consent, and intimacy for healthier relationships.

Befreed team

Top Lessons from Mel Robbins’ New Book: The Let Them Theory
BLOG

Top Lessons from Mel Robbins’ New Book: The Let Them Theory

Discover the top lessons from Mel Robbins’ The Let Them Theory—a 2025 must-read on boundaries, self-growth, and letting go of what you can't control.

BeFreed Team

FAQs About This Book

Relationship Goals is a faith-based guide to building purposeful relationships, offering biblical principles for dating, marriage, and sexuality. Pastor Michael Todd combines personal anecdotes, scriptural insights, and practical steps to help readers navigate relational pitfalls. The book emphasizes intentionality, emotional preparation, and spiritual alignment, structured around nine chapters that outline a "relationship progression" from singleness to marriage.

This book is ideal for singles seeking purpose in dating, couples aiming to strengthen their relationships, and Christians looking for biblically grounded advice. It’s also relevant for those navigating breakup decisions, setting sexual boundaries, or pursuing marital unity. Michael Todd’s candid style appeals to readers valuing transparency and faith-driven solutions.

Yes, particularly for its actionable framework on relationship stages and emphasis on spiritual growth. A New York Times bestseller, it blends humor, vulnerability, and scriptural wisdom. However, some critics note a lack of direct biblical citations for claims like labeling relationships as "assets" or "liabilities".

Key ideas include:

  • Intentional dating: Avoid recreational dating; pursue purpose-driven connections.
  • Surrendering sexuality: Set boundaries to honor God before marriage.
  • The Relationship Triangle: Prioritize God as the foundation, with partners growing closer to Him and each other.
  • Six relationship stages: Singleness, dating, engagement, marriage, love, and children.

Todd frames singleness as a season to "invest, imagine, and inspire"—focusing on personal growth, envisioning future goals, and impacting others. He argues strength in singleness lays the groundwork for healthy future relationships, advising readers to avoid seeking validation through romance.

The book urges readers to "surrender" their sexuality to God, advocating for premarital abstinence and post-marital fidelity. Todd and his wife Natalie stress open communication about desires and boundaries, framing sexual purity as an act of faith rather than mere rule-following.

Some readers critique Todd’s analogy of relationships as "assets/liabilities," arguing it risks reducing people to transactional value. Others note limited scriptural backing for claims like "God sends people to bless or distract you." The tone is occasionally labeled narcissistic, though many praise its practicality.

Michael Todd is lead pastor of Oklahoma’s Transformation Church, known for viral sermons on faith and relationships. A New York Times bestselling author, he co-leads the church with his wife Natalie and has grown its global audience to over 20,000 weekly viewers.

Yes, the final chapter (co-authored by Natalie Todd) provides "major keys" for marriage, including maintaining intentional dating habits and fostering spiritual unity. The companion Relationship Goals Challenge expands this with 30 days of scripture-based couple activities.

Todd’s approach balances humor and raw honesty—discussing topics like breakup recovery and sexual temptation without shaming. Unlike some theological texts, it uses modern examples (e.g., social media comparisons) and avoids overly prescriptive formulas.

This framework visualizes a triangle with God at the top and partners at the base corners. As both individuals grow closer to God, they naturally grow closer to each other, ensuring alignment with divine purpose.

Yes, Todd provides practical tools like:

  • The "No Test": Assessing a partner’s integrity through small scenarios.
  • Boundary-setting strategies: For physical and emotional health.
  • Daily scripture challenges: To reinforce spiritual foundations in relationships.
Explore Your Way of Learning
Relationship Goals isn't just a book — it's a masterclass in Inspiration. To help you absorb its lessons in the way that works best for you, we offer five unique learning modes. Whether you're a deep thinker, a fast learner, or a story lover, there's a mode designed to fit your style.

Quick Summary Mode - Read or listen to Relationship Goals Summary in 10 Minutes

Quick Summary
Quick Summary
Relationship Goals Summary in 10 Minutes

Break down key ideas from Relationship Goals into bite-sized takeaways to understand how innovative teams create, collaborate, and grow.

play
00:00
00:00

Flash Card Mode - Top 10 Insights from Relationship Goals in a Nutshell

Flash Card
Flash Card
Top 10 Insights from Relationship Goals in a Nutshell

Distill Relationship Goals into rapid-fire memory cues that highlight Pixar’s principles of candor, teamwork, and creative resilience.

Flash Mode Swiper

Fun Mode - Relationship Goals Lessons Told Through 24-Min Stories

Fun
Fun
Relationship Goals Lessons Told Through 24-Min Stories

Experience Relationship Goals through vivid storytelling that turns Pixar’s innovation lessons into moments you’ll remember and apply.

play
00:00
00:00

Personalize Mode - Read or listen to Relationship Goals Summary in 0 Minutes

Personalize
Personalize
Experience Relationship Goals in your own way.

Ask anything, pick the voice, and co-create insights that truly resonate with you.

Flash Mode Swiper

From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco

BeFreed Brings Together A Global Community Of 200,000+ Curious Minds

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments12
likes117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments12
likes108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments254
likes17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments96
likes4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
platform
comments201
thumbsUp16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments37
likes483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments12
likes117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments12
likes108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments254
likes17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments96
likes4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
platform
comments201
thumbsUp16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments37
likes483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA
platform
comments12
likes117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

@Raaaaaachelw
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
platform
comments12
likes108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
platform
comments254
likes17

"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful
platform
comments96
likes4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

@Jaded_Falcon
platform
comments201
thumbsUp16

"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke
platform
starstarstarstarstar

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn
platform
comments37
likes483

"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

@Cashflowbubu
platform
starstarstarstarstar

See More Stories?

How people are talking about BeFreed across the web
Start your learning journey, now
Download This Summary

Get the Relationship Goals summary as a free PDF or EPUB. Print it or read offline anytime.