Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex by Michael Todd Summary

1. Intentional dating over recreational dating for purposeful connections.
2. Surrendering sexuality to align with biblical marriage principles.
3. Singleness as a season for self-investment, not just waiting for marriage.
4. The "Triangle" framework: God as the foundation for marital unity.
5. How to set God-centered boundaries in romantic relationships.
6. Mutual accountability vs. one-sided expectations in relationship health.
7. Mutual spiritual growth is non-negotiable for lasting marriages.
8. Reframing past relational pain into future-purpose testimonials.
9. Practical steps to rebuild trust through consistent "drops" of honesty.
10. Distinguishing relationship assets from liabilities using spiritual discernment.
11. Progression over perfection in evolving relationship dynamics.
12. Michael Todd's "30-day challenge" for reigniting marital intimacy and purpose.

About the Author of Relationship Goals

Michael Todd, bestselling author of Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex, is a faith-driven leadership expert and dynamic pastor renowned for his transformative insights on modern relationships.

As co-lead pastor of Oklahoma’s multi-campus Transformation Church, Todd merges biblical principles with cultural relevance, addressing themes of love, commitment, and spiritual growth in his work. His viral “Relationship Goals” sermon series, which garnered over 6 million views, laid the foundation for this New York Times bestseller that spent 13 consecutive weeks on the list.

Todd further expands his impact through other faith-centered books like Crazy Faith and Damaged But Not Destroyed, which explore radical trust and resilience. His relatable, multimedia-friendly approach has led to collaborations with figures like producer DeVon Franklin, adapting Relationship Goals into an Amazon Studios romantic comedy.

With a global audience exceeding 20,000 weekly viewers and a 5,000-member congregation, Todd’s work continues to redefine faith-based guidance for contemporary audiences.

FAQs About Relationship Goals

What is Relationship Goals by Michael Todd about?

Relationship Goals is a faith-based guide to building purposeful relationships, offering biblical principles for dating, marriage, and sexuality. Pastor Michael Todd combines personal anecdotes, scriptural insights, and practical steps to help readers navigate relational pitfalls. The book emphasizes intentionality, emotional preparation, and spiritual alignment, structured around nine chapters that outline a "relationship progression" from singleness to marriage.

Who should read Relationship Goals?

This book is ideal for singles seeking purpose in dating, couples aiming to strengthen their relationships, and Christians looking for biblically grounded advice. It’s also relevant for those navigating breakup decisions, setting sexual boundaries, or pursuing marital unity. Michael Todd’s candid style appeals to readers valuing transparency and faith-driven solutions.

Is Relationship Goals worth reading?

Yes, particularly for its actionable framework on relationship stages and emphasis on spiritual growth. A New York Times bestseller, it blends humor, vulnerability, and scriptural wisdom. However, some critics note a lack of direct biblical citations for claims like labeling relationships as "assets" or "liabilities".

What are the main relationship concepts in Relationship Goals?

Key ideas include:

• Intentional dating: Avoid recreational dating; pursue purpose-driven connections.
• Surrendering sexuality: Set boundaries to honor God before marriage.
• The Relationship Triangle: Prioritize God as the foundation, with partners growing closer to Him and each other.
• Six relationship stages: Singleness, dating, engagement, marriage, love, and children.

What does Michael Todd say about singleness?

Todd frames singleness as a season to "invest, imagine, and inspire"—focusing on personal growth, envisioning future goals, and impacting others. He argues strength in singleness lays the groundwork for healthy future relationships, advising readers to avoid seeking validation through romance.

How does Relationship Goals address sexuality?

The book urges readers to "surrender" their sexuality to God, advocating for premarital abstinence and post-marital fidelity. Todd and his wife Natalie stress open communication about desires and boundaries, framing sexual purity as an act of faith rather than mere rule-following.

What are common criticisms of Relationship Goals?

Some readers critique Todd’s analogy of relationships as "assets/liabilities," arguing it risks reducing people to transactional value. Others note limited scriptural backing for claims like "God sends people to bless or distract you." The tone is occasionally labeled narcissistic, though many praise its practicality.

Who is Michael Todd, the author of Relationship Goals?

Michael Todd is lead pastor of Oklahoma’s Transformation Church, known for viral sermons on faith and relationships. A New York Times bestselling author, he co-leads the church with his wife Natalie and has grown its global audience to over 20,000 weekly viewers.

Does Relationship Goals offer advice for married couples?

Yes, the final chapter (co-authored by Natalie Todd) provides "major keys" for marriage, including maintaining intentional dating habits and fostering spiritual unity. The companion Relationship Goals Challenge expands this with 30 days of scripture-based couple activities.

How does Relationship Goals differ from other Christian relationship books?

Todd’s approach balances humor and raw honesty—discussing topics like breakup recovery and sexual temptation without shaming. Unlike some theological texts, it uses modern examples (e.g., social media comparisons) and avoids overly prescriptive formulas.

What is the “Relationship Triangle” in Relationship Goals?

This framework visualizes a triangle with God at the top and partners at the base corners. As both individuals grow closer to God, they naturally grow closer to each other, ensuring alignment with divine purpose.

Are there actionable steps in Relationship Goals?

Yes, Todd provides practical tools like:

• The "No Test": Assessing a partner’s integrity through small scenarios.
• Boundary-setting strategies: For physical and emotional health.
• Daily scripture challenges: To reinforce spiritual foundations in relationships.