I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki Summary, PDF, EPUB, Audio

Q: What are the main themes in *I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki*?

- **Self-worth**: Struggles with feeling “not good enough” at work and relationships. - **Existential duality**: Balancing suicidal ideation with cravings for simple pleasures. - **Cultural identity**: How Korean societal expectations shape mental health perceptions.

Q: What key quotes define the book’s message?

- *“I don’t know if I want to live, but I still want to eat tteokbokki.”* – Symbolizes clinging to mundane joys amid despair. - *“Revealing my darkness is as natural as revealing my light.”* – Advocates for destigmatizing mental health struggles.

I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

Baek Se-hee

3.21 (85879 Reviews)

Psychology

Self-growth

Health

Overview

Key Takeaways

Author

FAQs

In this raw therapy memoir, Baek Sehee navigates depression while craving life's simple pleasures. Endorsed by BTS and translated by an International Booker Prize nominee, it's the contradiction we all live - wanting to disappear yet still hungering for spicy rice cakes.

What is I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki about?

This bestselling memoir by Baek Sehee blends therapy session transcripts with personal essays about her 10-year struggle with dysthymia (chronic mild depression). Structured as 12 conversations with her psychiatrist, it explores self-doubt, anxiety, and the paradox of clinging to life’s small joys—like craving tteokbokki—amid emotional exhaustion. The raw, intimate format bridges memoir and self-help.

Who should read I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki?

This book resonates with readers navigating mental health challenges, particularly those interested in therapy dynamics or South Korea’s cultural approach to depression. Its candid tone and relatable struggles make it ideal for fans of hybrid memoirs like Reasons to Stay Alive or The Midnight Library.

Is I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki worth reading?

Yes—it offers a rare glimpse into South Korean mental health care while normalizing conversations about depression. Critics praise its vulnerability, though some note the advice feels surface-level or culturally specific. Its viral title and Anton Hur’s translation have fueled global appeal.

How does the book address mental health stigma in South Korea?

Baek’s sessions highlight societal pressures to mask emotions, contrasting with her psychiatrist’s pragmatic advice. While South Korea’s universal healthcare includes mental health support, the book subtly critiques workplace culture and patriarchal norms that exacerbate anxiety.

What are the main themes in I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki?

Self-worth: Struggles with feeling “not good enough” at work and relationships.
Existential duality: Balancing suicidal ideation with cravings for simple pleasures.
Cultural identity: How Korean societal expectations shape mental health perceptions.

What key quotes define the book’s message?

“I don’t know if I want to live, but I still want to eat tteokbokki.” – Symbolizes clinging to mundane joys amid despair.
“Revealing my darkness is as natural as revealing my light.” – Advocates for destigmatizing mental health struggles.

How does the book portray therapy in South Korea?

Sessions focus on cognitive reframing and medication, reflecting common psychiatric practices there. Baek’s therapist prioritizes functional improvements (e.g., work performance) over emotional exploration—a approach some Western readers find pragmatic, others impersonal.

What criticisms exist about the book?

Some readers find the therapy advice overly simplistic or culturally narrow, noting Baek’s privilege in accessing long-term care. Others critique repetitive themes, though many argue this mirrors the cyclical nature of depression.

Why is tteokbokki significant in the book?

The spicy rice cake represents fleeting comforts that anchor Baek to life. It’s a metaphor for how small, visceral joys can counterbalance existential despair—a motif resonating with global readers.

How relevant is the book in 2025?

Its exploration of post-pandemic mental health fatigue and Gen Z disillusionment remains timely. The blend of memoir and self-help aligns with trends toward vulnerable, hybrid nonfiction.

How does Anton Hur’s translation impact the book?

Hur preserves the conversational tone while adapting cultural nuances, though some phrases feel distinctly Korean. Critics applaud his balance of accessibility and authenticity.

What is Baek Sehee’s background?

Born in 1990, Baek studied creative writing, worked in publishing, and rescued her dog Jaram. Her decade-long therapy journey inspired this book, which began as a viral essay series in South Korea.

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Key takeaways

When Death and Spicy Rice Cakes Share the Same Heart

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Depression isn't the temporary sadness many imagine. It's the peculiar contradiction of simultaneously wanting to die while craving spicy rice cakes - finding life unbearable yet still clinging to small pleasures that make it worth enduring. This paradox forms the emotional core of Baek Sehee's journey through depression, captured in transcripts of her actual therapy sessions that invite us into the most vulnerable corners of her mind. The result feels less like reading a book and more like sitting beside a friend who finally feels safe enough to share their deepest wounds. What makes this account so powerful is how it refuses to offer tidy solutions. Depression isn't "the flu of the mind" with a clear treatment protocol - it's a chronic condition requiring ongoing management rather than a complete cure. Baek doesn't guide us toward eliminating depression but shares her experience of learning not to retreat into familiar patterns when depressed. She wants to be seen yet fears visibility, often spending hours preparing for social events only to cancel at the last minute. She craves connection while isolating herself, sometimes ignoring messages from friends for weeks while scrolling through their social media posts. These contradictions aren't signs of weakness - they're the complex reality of living with depression, manifestations of the internal struggle between engagement and withdrawal.

The Cruel Filter of Selective Memory and Self-Perception

Making the Invisible Visible: Self-Harm and Suicidal Ideation

The Exhaustion of Social Performance

The Quiet Revolution of Self-Acceptance

Embracing the Scars That Make Us Human

The Journey Toward Integration and Wholeness

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Key takeaways

When Death and Spicy Rice Cakes Share the Same Heart

The Cruel Filter of Selective Memory and Self-Perception