How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed by Ross Jeffries Summary

How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed is a controversial dating guide by Ross Jeffries, founder of Speed Seduction, that teaches psychological persuasion techniques for attracting women. The 90-page book covers NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) tactics including anchoring, mirroring, pattern interrupts, and what Jeffries calls "covert hypnosis" to bypass resistance and create rapid sexual encounters. The book advocates an unapologetic masculine attitude and frames seduction as a series of learnable psychological techniques.

Ross Jeffries is the founder of Speed Seduction, an early pickup artist methodology that emerged before the modern dating advice industry. He pioneered the application of NLP techniques to dating and seduction, creating a system focused on psychological persuasion and rapid results. Jeffries became a controversial figure in the seduction community, with critics describing him as a "caricature" who represents the extreme lengths some men will go to get laid. His work is considered foundational to the pickup artist movement, though largely dated by today's standards.

How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed is worth reading primarily for historical context or amusement value rather than practical application. Reviews describe it as "dated," "impractical," and filled with "hoary old gender-biases" and misogyny. The book represents an early but flawed attempt at systematizing seduction advice, with techniques that have become clichéd or are considered unethical by modern standards. Most reviewers recommend viewing it as a cautionary tale rather than a how-to guide.

How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed is best suited for "completists" studying the history of dating advice or those curious about the origins of pickup artist culture. The book appeals to readers interested in understanding psychological persuasion tactics, NLP applications in dating, or the controversial seduction community. However, multiple reviewers warn that the techniques are outdated, ethically problematic, and impractical for modern dating. Some suggest daughters should read it to recognize manipulation tactics.

The main techniques include:

• Anchoring (using NLP to create automatic confidence triggers and associate yourself with positive emotions)
• Mirroring (matching a woman's breathing and gestures to build subconscious rapport)
• Pattern interrupts (attention-getting openers that disrupt normal thought patterns)

Jeffries also teaches storytelling techniques designed to evoke specific emotional states, the "AS-IF Principle" for building warmth, and methods for "breaking resistance" using shock, humor, or guilt. The book provides specific phrases, comebacks for rejection, and strategies for different pickup locations.

The core philosophy centers on an unapologetic acceptance of masculine desire without apologizing for who you are or what you want. Jeffries advocates an "I don't need you, you need me" mindset that emphasizes self-respect, independence, and inner validation over seeking female approval. The "bedrock attitude" involves focusing on what you want to win rather than what you might lose, maintaining resilience in the face of rejection, and believing you can't be controlled. This philosophy emphasizes direct action, reading feedback, and treating seduction as a learnable skill rather than luck.

Anchoring in Speed Seduction refers to using NLP techniques to create automatic psychological triggers that produce desired emotional states. Jeffries teaches accessing "Picture Types 1 & 2" (powerful emotional memories) and linking them to specific gestures, touches, or words. The technique involves creating confidence triggers before approaching women, then linking arousal and physical touch during interaction through "sensory overlap"—shifting between visual, auditory, and kinesthetic descriptions to increase suggestibility. The stated goal is bypassing conscious resistance by creating subconscious associations.

The Jeffries Upright/Uptight Scale is a rating system presented in the appendix for evaluating women based on their attitudes toward sex and general character. The scale helps men assess compatibility according to Jeffries' standards, with "red flags" indicating potential problems. Warning signs include talking about sex too soon, rudeness toward service workers, flakiness, and other behavioral cues. The scale reflects Jeffries' approach of screening women quickly to determine if they fit his criteria for potential sexual encounters.

Critics describe the book as "rife with hoary old gender-biases, personal insecurity, and misogyny" that teaches manipulation rather than genuine connection. Reviewers call the techniques "silly," "dated," and largely unusable in modern dating contexts. Multiple reviews warn the book promotes unethical persuasion tactics, including guilt manipulation and methods for "breaking resistance" that border on coercion. One reviewer describes Jeffries as a "slimy lounge-lizard" and warns the book represents "what might happen to you if you throw all your energy" into manipulative pickup tactics.

Yes, chapters 17-18 cover what Jeffries calls "covert hypnosis" techniques for rapid seduction. These sections teach weaving stories designed to evoke specific feelings or emotional states in the listener, using detailed sensory descriptions. The method involves linking anchoring to arousal, using physical touch, and shifting between visual, auditory, and kinesthetic language to increase suggestibility. The stated goal is bypassing conscious resistance through these psychological methods, though reviewers note this represents some of the most ethically questionable content in the book.

Jeffries advocates using "slashing comebacks" that reframe rejection as the woman's loss rather than accepting it passively. The approach involves maintaining the frame that attraction already exists, pointing out consequences of her "not being with you," and using shock or humor to shift her perception. Chapter 4 emphasizes "The Power of Saying No" as building self-respect and demonstrating you have options. The overall philosophy treats rejection as feedback to adjust tactics rather than personal failure, maintaining an "I don't need you" attitude throughout.

How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed represents early pickup artist methodology that has been largely superseded by more sophisticated (though still controversial) dating advice. While modern approaches often emphasize self-improvement, social skills, and mutual attraction, Jeffries focuses heavily on psychological manipulation and rapid sexual outcomes. The book's NLP-heavy techniques, aggressive reframing tactics, and overt focus on "getting laid" have become clichéd punchlines in modern dating discourse. Most contemporary dating coaches distance themselves from Jeffries' methods, viewing them as relics of a pre-#MeToo era that prioritized technique over ethics.