What Do Women Want? by Daniel Bergner Summary

What Do Women Want? challenges societal myths about female sexuality, arguing women’s desire is more complex and less monogamy-driven than traditionally assumed. Daniel Bergner combines groundbreaking scientific research on arousal, emotional connection, and fantasies to reveal how cultural narratives oversimplify women’s lust. Key themes include the role of narcissism in desire and critiques of the "female Viagra" search.

This book suits readers interested in psychology, gender studies, or sexual health. It’s ideal for feminists, therapists, and anyone questioning stereotypes about monogamy or emotional intimacy’s role in arousal. Bergner’s provocative insights also appeal to fans of science journalism that challenges mainstream narratives.

Yes—it was named a New York Times Editor’s Choice and translated into 15 languages for its bold insights. Bergner’s blend of interviews, experiments, and cultural analysis offers a fresh perspective on female sexuality, though its controversial conclusions may spark debate.

The book highlights studies reversing evolutionary psychology assumptions, like women’s hypothetical willingness to engage with desirable strangers despite social risks. Bergner critiques experiments conflating cultural norms with innate behavior, such as those framing women as inherently less promiscuous.

Yes—Bergner presents research suggesting women’s desire often declines in long-term relationships, challenging the idea that they’re naturally monogamous. He links this to evolutionary biology and societal expectations, proposing that female sexuality thrives on novelty and autonomy.

Bergner critiques pharmaceutical efforts to pathologize low female desire, framing the quest as a misguided attempt to "cure" monogamy’s emotional toll. He argues such drugs ignore deeper biological and social drivers of women’s arousal.

The book explores how the "desire to be desired" fuels women’s fantasies, often prioritizing self-objectification over emotional intimacy. Bergner ties this to psychological studies showing arousal linked to feeling sexually powerful.

He disputes experiments claiming women innately prefer commitment, arguing their responses reflect safety concerns, not genuine desire. For example, when envisioning desirable partners like celebrities, women’s hypothetical promiscuity mirrors men’s.

Notable lines include:

• "Women’s eroticism is no more governed by tender ideals than men’s"
• "The hunt for a female Viagra is a search for the cure for monogamy"
  These emphasize the book’s critique of romanticized views of female sexuality.

Bergner questions whether feminist triumphs like "No means no" inadvertently stifle sexual exploration by framing women as inherently vulnerable. He suggests empowerment might conflict with raw, risk-tolerant desire.

A New York Times Magazine contributor and award-winning author of six nonfiction books, including Sing for Your Life. His work often examines psychology, race, and marginalized communities, blending narrative storytelling with rigorous research.

Some argue Bergner overstates women’s nonmonogamous tendencies, overlooking studies affirming emotional connection’s role in arousal. Others note his focus on heterosexual dynamics neglects LGBTQ+ experiences.