Getting Along by Amy Gallo Summary

Getting Along offers evidence-based strategies to navigate challenging workplace relationships. Amy Gallo identifies eight difficult coworker archetypes—like the insecure boss, passive-aggressive peer, and biased colleague—and provides tailored approaches to handle each. The book emphasizes principles such as focusing on controllable actions, managing emotions, and building interpersonal resilience to foster productive dynamics, even when cooperation seems impossible.

Professionals at any career stage facing workplace conflicts, managers aiming to improve team dynamics, and HR leaders seeking conflict-resolution frameworks will benefit. It’s ideal for those dealing with stubborn colleagues, toxic environments, or career-limiting tensions. Gallo’s advice is also valuable for remote workers navigating communication hurdles.

Yes, particularly for its actionable, research-backed strategies. Gallo combines Harvard Business Review insights with real-world examples, offering tools to transform adversarial relationships. The focus on emotional resilience and practical steps (like the “9 principles for getting along”) makes it a standout in workplace communication literature.

Key principles include:

• Focus on what you can control (e.g., your reactions, boundaries).
• Recognize that your perspective isn’t universal.
• Strategize forward-moving solutions rather than rehashing past conflicts.
• Prioritize self-protection when relationships turn harmful.
  These principles help readers shift from frustration to constructive action.

Gallo categorizes challenging colleagues into types like:

• The Insecure Boss (micromanagers needing validation).
• The Passive-Aggressive Peer (indirect communicators).
• The Biased Coworker (prone to stereotypes).
• The Know-It-All (dismissive of others’ input).
  Each archetype comes with tailored tactics to neutralize tension.

Address behavior directly but calmly—e.g., “I noticed the report wasn’t shared. Can we discuss timelines?” Set clear expectations and document interactions. Avoid retaliatory tactics; instead, focus on solutions that minimize ambiguity. For chronic cases, limit dependence on them and seek support from allies.

Workplace relationships thrive when you focus on your responses, not others’ flaws. By combining empathy with strategic boundaries, you can reduce conflict’s emotional toll and protect your career. It’s not about fixing difficult people but managing interactions to preserve your peace and productivity.

Yes. For biased colleagues, Gallo advises calmly naming problematic behavior (e.g., “That comment stereotypes our team”) and escalating if needed. She also emphasizes documenting incidents, building alliances, and prioritizing psychological safety—especially for marginalized groups.

Unlike generic advice, Getting Along offers structured frameworks (archetypes, principles) backed by organizational psychology. It’s more tactical than Crucial Conversations and more focused on resilience than Never Split the Difference. Gallo’s HBR expertise ensures methodologies align with modern, evidence-based management practices.

Absolutely. Principles like emotional regulation, perspective-taking, and boundary-setting apply to family conflicts, friendships, or community interactions. The archetype approach also helps reframe personal relationships, though examples are workplace-centric.

Some note that resolving conflicts requires significant emotional labor from the reader, which isn’t always feasible in high-stress roles. Others highlight that systemic issues (e.g., toxic corporate culture) may require broader organizational changes beyond individual strategies.

Amy Gallo is a Harvard Business Review contributing editor, workplace dynamics expert, and author of HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict. With degrees from Yale and Brown, she’s advised Fortune 500 companies and co-hosts HBR’s Women at Work podcast. Her Thinkers50 recognition underscores her influence in leadership and communication.

Gallo teaches readers to reframe conflicts as solvable challenges, not personal attacks. Techniques include mindfulness to reduce reactivity, separating others’ behavior from self-worth, and “micro-moves” (small, empowering actions) to regain agency. This builds resilience by shifting focus from frustration to problem-solving.