How to Work with (Almost) Anyone by Michael Bungay Stanier Summary

How to Work with (Almost) Anyone provides actionable strategies for building resilient, high-quality workplace relationships. It introduces the Keystone Conversation framework, centered on five questions that help establish safe, vital, and repairable connections. The book emphasizes intentional relationship-building over leaving interactions to chance, with tools like self-assessment exercises and conflict-resolution tactics.

This book is ideal for professionals at any level—managers, team members, or leaders—seeking to improve collaboration and reduce workplace friction. It’s particularly valuable for those navigating challenging dynamics, remote teams, or roles requiring mentorship. Michael Bungay Stanier’s advice applies to both short-term projects and long-term partnerships.

Yes—readers praise its practical, research-backed tools for transforming workplace interactions. The book’s concise structure (under 200 pages) and focus on actionable frameworks like the Keystone Conversation make it a quick yet impactful read. Forbes and Thinkers50 have highlighted its relevance for modern leadership challenges.

The framework’s core questions include:

• Amplify Question: “What’s your best?”
• Steady Question: “What are your practices and preferences?”
• Good/Bad Date Questions: Analyze past successful/frustrating relationships.
• Repair Question: “How will you fix things when they go wrong?”

These prompts foster mutual understanding and preempt conflict.

• Safe: Trust and psychological security.
• Vital: Energizing, growth-oriented dynamics.
• Repairable: Protocols to address breakdowns.

Bungay Stanier argues these traits define resilient relationships that boost productivity and satisfaction.

While both address workplace relationships, Gallo’s book focuses on managing specific “difficult” archetypes (e.g., pessimists, passive-aggressive colleagues). Bungay Stanier’s approach is more proactive, emphasizing preemptive relationship-building through structured conversations rather than reactive problem-solving.

• Intentionality: Relationships thrive when deliberately cultivated.
• Curiosity Over Advice: Prioritize asking questions rather than prescribing solutions.
• Repair Rituals: Normalize conflict resolution through agreed-upon methods.

The book includes worksheets to apply these principles.

Some note the strategies require sustained effort from both parties, which may be challenging in hierarchical or toxic workplaces. However, Bungay Stanier addresses this by focusing on controllable actions and emotional detachment when reciprocity isn’t possible.

As a Thinkers50 #1 Coaching Thought Leader and founder of Box of Crayons, Bungay Stanier draws on 20+ years of training 100,000+ leaders at companies like Gucci and Salesforce. His expertise in coaching and organizational behavior underpins the book’s pragmatic tone.

Yes—the Keystone Conversation framework is designed for virtual settings. Exercises like defining communication preferences (e.g., “Slack vs. email”) help remote teams align expectations and reduce misunderstandings.

Bungay Stanier avoids abstract metaphors, focusing instead on practical exercises like the Relationship History Map to visualize past interactions. This aligns with his reputation for making complex ideas accessible.

Both emphasize curiosity-driven communication, but How to Work with (Almost) Anyone expands beyond coaching to all professional relationships. It complements his earlier work by providing tools for peer-to-peer and upward management dynamics.