Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life by Stuart Diamond Summary

1. Stuart Diamond’s “emotional payments” prioritize empathy over logic in negotiations
2. Trade items of unequal value to maximize outcomes for both parties
3. Frame demands using the other party’s standards and policies for leverage
4. Small incremental steps build trust and reduce resistance during negotiations
5. Goals drive negotiation strategy – define them clearly before engaging
6. Address irrational needs first to unlock rational problem-solving later
7. Avoid “winning” – focus on collaborative solutions that help everyone
8. Master perception alignment to transform conflicts into mutual opportunities
9. Use role reversal techniques to anticipate and disarm objections
10. Persistence with new information outperforms pressure tactics in deadlocks
11. Convert emotional outbursts into progress with strategic acknowledgments
12. “Getting More” redefines negotiation as perpetual relationship-building process

About the Author

Stuart Diamond, bestselling author of Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World, is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, negotiation expert, and Wharton School professor emeritus. His groundbreaking work in negotiation strategy blends emotional intelligence, cultural awareness, and practical frameworks, revolutionizing how individuals and organizations approach conflict resolution.

A former Associate Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, Diamond has trained U.S. Special Operations forces, Google’s global workforce, and Fortune 500 executives through his acclaimed "Getting More" model.

With over 20 years teaching Wharton’s most sought-after course, Diamond bridges academia and real-world application, drawing from his multidisciplinary career as an attorney, entrepreneur, and investigative reporter for The New York Times. His insights have been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Inc. Magazine, and NPR, while his negotiation methodologies are embedded in MBA programs and military training curricula. Getting More has sold over 2 million copies, been translated into 27 languages, and was named Amazon’s #1 leadership book and the "best negotiation book of all time" by Inc..

FAQs About This Book

What is Getting More by Stuart Diamond about?

Getting More offers a revolutionary approach to negotiation, emphasizing emotions, perceptions, and cultural empathy over traditional power-based tactics. Stuart Diamond, a Pulitzer Prize-winning negotiator and Wharton professor, teaches strategies applicable to everyday scenarios—from parenting to billion-dollar deals. The book challenges conventional ideas like “win-win” and BATNA, advocating for collaborative solutions that create four times more value.

Who should read Getting More?

Professionals, parents, entrepreneurs, and anyone seeking to improve communication and outcomes in negotiations. The strategies are used by Google, Microsoft, and U.S. Special Operations. Stuart Diamond’s methods help sales teams close deals, managers resolve conflicts, and parents motivate children, making it ideal for diverse audiences.

Is Getting More worth reading?

Yes. A New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller, Getting More is endorsed by Fortune 500 leaders and military commanders. Its practical, real-world examples—like resolving the 2008 Hollywood Writers’ Strike—demonstrate actionable frameworks. Readers call it “the best investment” for career growth.

What are the main ideas in Getting More?

1. Perceptions matter: Understand the other party’s emotional drivers.
2. Trade unequal items: Exchange low-cost concessions for high-value gains.
3. Incremental steps: Break negotiations into smaller, manageable agreements.
4. Cultural sensitivity: Adapt to diverse communication styles.

What are key negotiation strategies in Getting More?

• Frame issues collaboratively: Use “we” language to align interests.
• Ask open-ended questions: Uncover hidden needs.
• Leverage standards: Cite precedents (e.g., market rates, policies) to justify requests.
• Build trust: Small commitments foster rapport for larger agreements.

What are common criticisms of Getting More?

Some readers note a lack of step-by-step guides for complex scenarios. Critics argue its focus on empathy may falter in high-stakes, adversarial negotiations. However, most praise its practicality over academic theories like Getting to Yes.

How does Getting More compare to Getting to Yes?

While Getting to Yes focuses on principled negotiation and BATNA, Getting More prioritizes emotional intelligence and incremental gains. Diamond’s model is praised for real-world applicability, whereas Fisher and Ury’s framework is more theoretical.

How can Getting More be applied in business?

Microsoft’s Xbox team used its strategies to secure partnerships, while Google trained 12,000 employees globally. Key applications include client negotiations, conflict resolution, and cross-cultural deals. For example, framing proposals around a client’s budget constraints often yields better outcomes.

What are notable quotes from Getting More?

• “Negotiation is the art of letting the other side have your way.”
• “The person you’re negotiating with is your partner, not your adversary.”
• “Value is relative; find what’s cheap for you but valuable to them.”

Does Getting More work in personal relationships?

Yes. Parents use Diamond’s “trading unequal items” tactic—e.g., swapping extra playtime for bedtime compliance. Couples apply collaborative framing to resolve conflicts, like dividing chores based on preferences.

What is Stuart Diamond’s background?

Stuart Diamond is a Pulitzer-winning journalist, Wharton professor, and UN consultant. He has negotiated in 45 countries, advised Fortune 500 companies, and trained U.S. Special Forces. His course was Wharton’s most popular for 13 years.

How does Getting More address cross-cultural negotiations?

The model stresses adapting to cultural norms, such as relationship-building in Asian markets or direct communication in Western contexts. Diamond highlights the 2008 Writers’ Strike resolution, where understanding union members’ emotional needs was key.

How does Getting More differ from traditional negotiation tactics?

Traditional methods rely on power and logic, while Getting More prioritizes empathy and creativity. For example, instead of threatening a supplier with competition, Diamond suggests asking, “How can we grow together?”

What is the long-term impact of Getting More?

Used by the U.S. military and corporations like Amazon, the framework has generated billions in deals. Translated into 27 languages, it remains a top negotiation guide 15 years post-publication.

How are Getting More concepts taught today?

Diamond’s course is taught at Penn Law and Engineering schools, with online workshops at gettingmore.com. The U.S. Special Operations Command includes it in required reading for leadership training.