101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright Summary

101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright offers a structured guide for couples to explore compatibility through 101 questions spanning finances, spirituality, family dynamics, and personal goals. Designed to foster open communication, it helps partners address potential conflicts and build a resilient foundation for marriage. The book emphasizes proactive dialogue to reduce future misunderstandings.

This book is ideal for couples considering marriage, individuals in premarital counseling, or those remarrying. It’s also valuable for counselors and mentors seeking a framework to guide discussions about commitment, ensuring couples address critical topics before engagement.

Yes, the book provides actionable tools for navigating difficult conversations, backed by Wright’s 30+ years as a marital therapist. Its systematic approach helps uncover hidden incompatibilities, making it a practical resource for informed decision-making.

Key themes include communication, financial alignment, spiritual compatibility, and family influence. The questions encourage couples to examine past relationships, future goals, and daily habits, ensuring holistic understanding and reducing post-marriage surprises.

The book includes targeted questions for individuals remarrying, focusing on lessons from previous marriages and unresolved emotional patterns. Wright emphasizes honesty about past mistakes to avoid repeating them, fostering transparency between partners.

Questions delve into debt management, spending habits, financial goals, and income expectations. These aim to align couples’ monetary priorities, addressing potential conflicts over budgeting, savings, and long-term financial planning.

Yes, it explores faith practices, religious values, and spiritual aspirations. These questions help couples assess alignment in core beliefs, which Wright identifies as critical for marital harmony and shared life purpose.

Wright was a licensed therapist with over 30 years in marital counseling and authored 90+ books on relationships, grief, and trauma. His expertise in premarital guidance, backed by roles at Biola University and trauma response work, lends authority to the book.

Partners can discuss questions systematically, ideally alongside a counselor or mentor. This structured approach ensures thorough exploration of topics like conflict resolution, intimacy, and lifestyle preferences, fostering mutual understanding.

Some may find the format overly rigid, preferring more flexible conversation starters. However, the comprehensive scope ensures no critical topic is overlooked, balancing depth with practicality.

Amid evolving societal norms around marriage, the book’s focus on communication and compatibility provides timeless tools. Modern couples face challenges like financial stress and blended families, making Wright’s proactive approach indispensable.

It includes specialized questions for those remarrying, addressing lessons from past relationships and blending families. Wright highlights the importance of addressing lingering emotional baggage to build trust in new partnerships.