
Meet Fred: an undead accountant who proves vampires don't need capes to captivate readers. With 17,000+ Goodreads ratings and spawning an eight-book series, this cult favorite flips supernatural tropes with deadpan humor. Ever wondered what happens when immortality meets tax season?
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Imagine waking up as a vampire and discovering that immortality doesn't automatically make you interesting. This is precisely Fred's predicament. Fredrick Frankford Fletcher-accountant, introvert, and now reluctantly undead-learns that becoming a creature of the night doesn't transform him into the suave, confident being of popular fiction. Instead, he remains painfully, hilariously ordinary. His first night as a vampire isn't spent prowling the streets but frantically Googling "vampire symptoms" and creating spreadsheets to track his new biological changes. Unlike traditional vampires who seduce their prey, Fred arranges to purchase blood from a hospital director whose financial books he manages, setting up automatic bank transfers and organizing his feeding schedule in Microsoft Excel. His greatest supernatural achievement to date? Using his enhanced strength to carry all his tax files up three flights of stairs in a single trip. Fred's vampire abilities are modest compared to fictional counterparts. He doesn't transform into bats or mist, his fangs only extend when feeding or excited (particularly during tax season), and while sunlight is dangerous, he doesn't immediately burst into flames-though he does develop an impressive sunburn within minutes. What weighs on Fred most isn't the physical transformation but the emotional letdown. He had secretly hoped becoming a vampire would finally make his life exciting. Instead, his undead existence remains just as gray and dull as before-filled with tax returns and Netflix binges.
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Создано выпускниками Колумбийского университета в Сан-Франциско
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Создано выпускниками Колумбийского университета в Сан-Франциско

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