How not to get rich: the financial misadventures of Mark Twain

Summary of How not to get rich

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   The Pursuit of Fortune: Mark Twain's Financial Follies

   

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   Mark Twain-America's beloved literary genius-harbored a lifelong obsession with wealth that repeatedly led him to financial ruin. Born Samuel Clemens in 1835, Twain entered the world during America's greatest economic transformation. While contemporaries like Rockefeller and Carnegie built lasting empires, Twain squandered millions on fantastical inventions and ill-conceived schemes. "Whatever I touch turns to gold," he once declared-before losing it all. His father had instilled this wealth obsession by claiming the family's Tennessee land would someday make them "fabulously wealthy." This inheritance became what Twain called "the curse of it"-a perpetual belief that prosperity waited just around the corner. This tantalizing prospect of imminent wealth would haunt him throughout his life, driving him to pursue fortune through increasingly desperate ventures while his true talent-writing-remained merely his means to financial ends.

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   From River Pilot to Literary Fame

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   Before becoming America's foremost humorist, Twain pursued numerous careers with one goal: making money. After a failed cocaine-importing scheme in New Orleans, he apprenticed as a Mississippi River pilot-a prestigious, well-paying profession that earned him $250 monthly. When the Civil War disrupted river commerce, he headed west with his brother to Nevada Territory, immediately "smitten with the silver fever." For four years, he chased mining fortunes, learning painful lessons when his glittering "gold" discoveries turned out to be worthless mica. His most promising claim-a hidden silver vein potentially worth millions-was lost through a tragic miscommunication when he failed to perform the required work within ten days. Broke and humbled, Twain took a newspaper job at the Territorial Enterprise, where he first published under his famous pen name. His breakthrough came in 1865 with "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County," which reached a national audience. Two years later, his reporting assignment in Hawaii led to popular travel pieces and lucrative speaking engagements. The Innocents Abroad (1869) established him as a bestselling author, and when offered either $10,000 upfront or a 5% royalty, Twain chose the royalty-"the best business judgment I ever displayed."

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   Mansions, Marriage, and Inventions

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   Marriage to wealthy Olivia Langdon in 1870 temporarily solved Twain's financial concerns. Her father, coal magnate Jervis Langdon, gifted them a fully furnished mansion and left them $250,000 (about $4.4 million today) upon his death. The couple settled in Hartford, Connecticut-America's insurance capital and publishing hub-where they built an extravagant 25-room mansion with thirteen fireplaces. They entertained lavishly, spending the equivalent of $100,000 annually on food and drink alone. Despite his literary success, Twain's entrepreneurial itch led him to pursue inventions. Like his father and brother before him, he believed technology could deliver instant wealth. He patented an adjustable elastic strap for garments and spent twelve years perfecting a historical board game that players later found "tedious" and "complicated." His most successful invention was Mark Twain's Self-Pasting Scrapbook, which featured pages pre-coated with adhesive. This practical solution to a common problem sold 25,000 copies its first year, eventually earning him about $50,000 ($1.1 million today). Yet for every success, Twain suffered multiple failures. He lost $23,000 in the collapsed Hartford Accident Insurance Company while simultaneously refusing to invest in Bell Telephone Company-a decision he'd regret as early investors became wealthy. His investment in the New York Vaporizer Company, a device falsely claiming to extract 99% of steam from coal, proved worthless when the prototype saved only 1%. Another $32,000 disappeared into a "new kind of steam pulley" that pulled nothing but money from his pocket.

4. Chapter 4

   The Publishing Venture and the Typesetting Dream

   Dissatisfied with established publishers, Twain formed Charles L. Webster & Company in 1884 with his nephew as titular head. Their first publication was Huckleberry Finn, followed by their greatest coup-General Grant's memoirs. Twain offered the dying general terms far superior to competitors: 20% royalty instead of 10%, ultimately earning Grant's widow over $400,000 (about $8 million today) while netting Twain $200,000. This success, combined with Huckleberry Finn's profits, left him "frightened by the proportions of my prosperity." This prosperity would be short-lived due to Twain's obsession with James W. Paige's typesetting machine. The Paige Compositor was a marvel of complexity-5,000 pounds with 18,000 parts that could set type six times faster than humans. Twain calculated enormous profits if just 1,000 of America's 11,000 newspapers adopted it. His initial $2,000 investment grew to $3,000 monthly payments as Paige continuously redesigned and "perfected" the machine. Despite warnings from friends that the contract "can bankrupt you," Twain remained convinced of inevitable success, his calculations "never running short of millions, and frequently approaching the billion mark."

   Chapter 5

   The Collapse of an Empire

   While Twain poured money into the Paige Compositor, his publishing company made increasingly poor decisions. Their authorized biography of Pope Leo XIII failed spectacularly-they hadn't considered "how often Catholics could not read, how often when they could, they might not wish to read." Their prestigious eleven-volume "Library of American Literature" proved financially disastrous-each set cost $22 more to produce than customers initially paid, with many defaulting on installment payments. By 1894, the Chicago Herald's trial of the Paige Compositor revealed its fatal flaws. Though fast, it was error-prone and frequently broke down. Only Paige himself could repair the machine's glitches due to its complexity. When Twain's financial backer Henry Rogers withdrew support, declaring the machine "too much of a human being and not enough of a machine," Twain's ten-year dream collapsed. The competing Mergenthaler Linotype, simpler and more reliable, would dominate the market for decades.

   Chapter 6

   Redemption and Legacy

   Facing bankruptcy at age 59, Twain embarked on a grueling world lecture tour to pay his debts. Despite dreading the circuit, the tour proved enormously successful. By January 1898, Rogers informed him they were debt-free with $12,000-$13,000 remaining. When Twain returned to America in 1900, the press celebrated him as a hero who had "shown that the American standard of honor goes beyond the standard set by law." Yet even after this hard-won redemption, Twain couldn't resist one final business venture. He invested $37,500 in Plasmon, a powdered food supplement he discovered in Vienna, claiming three pounds contained the nutrition of 100 pints of milk or 16 pounds of beef. By 1907, the company was bankrupt with just $13.08 remaining in its account. "I was always bad in business," Twain confessed, though later amended this to being "only half a good business man." When Twain died in 1910, his estate was worth about $470,000 ($11 million today). The true irony? Had his family kept their Tennessee land until today, it would be worth approximately $74 million-making them "fabulously wealthy" just as his father had predicted. Perhaps the greatest lesson from Twain's financial misadventures isn't practical business advice but an appreciation for life's complexity and humor. As Twain himself advised business students: "To succeed in business... avoid my example."

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