Explore how Selma Fraiberg's 'Ghosts in the Nursery' concept explains how past trauma and childhood history influence parenting and emotional triggers today.

Whether a parent repeats the injuries of their past doesn't depend on how bad their childhood was; it depends on whether they have access to their childhood pain and can make sense of their story.
Hello, hope you are enjoying yourself I’ve made another discovery I am becoming aware of — what you mentioned about disgust and the kids. It’s like I have to pause and think: am I feeling disgusted because this reminds me of my past? Am I reliving that? Yes, it’s my past but I don’t have to take it out on my kids. It’s not their fault. Sometimes Steven’s face or character comes through in them and I end up being unkind — not because of them but because that ghost comes in. Is that good?








The term 'Ghosts in the Nursery' originates from a famous psychoanalytic study by Selma Fraiberg. It refers to uninvited visitors from a parent’s unremembered past that influence how they interact with their own children. These 'ghosts' represent unprocessed history and trauma that can lead a parent to react to their child's normal behavior with intense, misplaced emotions or unkindness, essentially conducting a rehearsal of a past family tragedy in the present day.
Feeling a massive wave of heat or anger that doesn't fit a situation—such as when a child is simply being loud—is often a sign of being 'flooded' by your own history. Research suggests these intense reactions are frequently not about the child's current behavior but are instead your past reaching forward. When childhood trauma remains unprocessed, it can create emotional triggers that pull you back in time, causing you to relive old experiences through your current parenting role.
Intergenerational trauma can manifest as seeing the face or character of someone from your past in your own children. This psychological phenomenon can lead a parent to be unkind or reactive because they are viewing their child through the lens of a previous relationship or trauma. Recognizing these 'ghosts' and acknowledging that you might be reliving your past is considered a vital first step in breaking the cycle and healing your approach to parenting.
Criado por ex-alunos da Universidade de Columbia em San Francisco
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Criado por ex-alunos da Universidade de Columbia em San Francisco
