Capítulo 4
The Fateful Encounter at the Dog Park
The collision of Greta's professional and personal worlds occurs at the local dog park, where fate orchestrates a meeting that will change both women's lives. While walking her Jack Russell terrier Pinon, Greta witnesses a confrontation between dogs. A pit bull named Jelly Roll pins Pinon to the ground by the neck, and as Greta watches helplessly, a tall, pale woman appears and expertly lifts Jelly Roll by her hind legs, immediately stopping the attack.
This woman introduces herself as Flavia, and Greta realizes with a shock that she's "Big Swiss" - the therapy patient whose sessions she's been transcribing. The moment is electric with both danger and possibility. Despite knowing she's crossing a serious ethical boundary, Greta introduces herself as "Rebekah" with a K and H, creating a false identity on the spot.
Their conversation crackles with tension as Greta makes inappropriate jokes, drawing on her intimate knowledge of Big Swiss's life while pretending to be a stranger. When the owner of the aggressive dog invites them to visit his bar called Farmacy, Greta arranges to meet Big Swiss there the following evening - knowingly scheduling this rendezvous for after she finishes transcribing Big Swiss's next therapy session.
This encounter represents a critical ethical breach. Greta has already invaded Big Swiss's privacy by transcribing her most intimate confessions, but now she's actively deceiving her, creating a relationship built entirely on lies. The power imbalance is severe - Greta knows Big Swiss's deepest traumas, fears, and desires, while Big Swiss believes she's meeting a stranger named Rebekah.
The dog park scene establishes the central tension of their relationship: Greta's genuine attraction to Big Swiss is inextricably tangled with her unethical access to Big Swiss's private thoughts. The rescue of Pinon serves as a metaphor for how Big Swiss will temporarily "rescue" Greta from her emotional numbness, while also foreshadowing how their relationship will eventually become dangerous for both women.
As they part ways, Big Swiss mentions she's been to Farmacy with her husband before - a detail that should give Greta pause but instead only intensifies her inappropriate fascination. The stage is now set for a relationship built on deception, with the threat of discovery hanging over every interaction that follows.
Capítulo 5
The Beginning of a Dangerous Affair
The evening after their dog park meeting, Greta receives Big Swiss's latest therapy recording. In it, Big Swiss mentions meeting "Rebekah" at the dog park, describing her as attractive, gay, and intuitive. She also shares that she experienced her first orgasm that morning using a device Om recommended, though she found it too intense. The session ends abruptly when Big Swiss begins revealing that her attacker Keith will be released and living nearby.
Despite her growing anxiety about the deception, Greta prepares for their meeting at Farmacy. Her roommate Sabine helps dress her in a white gauzy dress with bloodstains and a moth-eaten wool cape, placing tea bags on Greta's eyes to reduce puffiness. The outfit reflects Greta's conflicted state - attempting to appear attractive while simultaneously sabotaging herself.
At Farmacy, with its vintage lightbulbs and apothecary aesthetic, Greta quickly downs her drink while waiting. When Big Swiss arrives, she makes a striking entrance in white cashmere and silk trousers, drawing attention from everyone. Their conversation begins awkwardly as Greta, attempting to be off-putting, makes inappropriate comments about Big Swiss's appearance. Despite this, Big Swiss seems intrigued.
Greta shares fabricated details about her work as a transcriptionist, admitting she works in her underwear and suffers from wrist pain. The conversation shifts to personal histories - Greta reveals her mother's suicide when she was thirteen and her brief born-again Christian experience, while Big Swiss mentions growing up in a cult near Geneva focused on "radical authenticity." This exchange establishes a pattern where Greta mixes truth and lies, creating an unstable foundation for their relationship.
As they drink, Big Swiss unexpectedly asks if they can be "dog friends" who meet at the dog park, seeming nervous about something. When Greta mentions jimsonweed trips as a comparison to her periods, Big Swiss comments that her dog once ate jimsonweed and hallucinated. This seemingly casual conversation contains layers of deception, as Greta knows from therapy sessions that Big Swiss recently looked at jimsonweed flowers during her first self-induced orgasm.
The evening ends abruptly when Big Swiss leaves after placing money on the bar. Greta orders another drink, reflecting that while being obnoxious was stressful, she enjoyed making a new friend. However, she suspects Big Swiss is looking for a bodyguard rather than friendship - another insight gleaned from her unethical access to Big Swiss's therapy sessions.
This initial meeting establishes the pattern for their relationship: Greta's knowledge of Big Swiss's intimate thoughts creates a power imbalance, while Big Swiss's reserved nature and mysterious motivations keep Greta perpetually off-balance. Their attraction is genuine but built on a foundation of deception that threatens to collapse at any moment.
Capítulo 6
Winter Fires and Secret Desires
As winter fully arrives in Hudson, Greta must maintain fires around the clock in her drafty living space - a physical manifestation of the consuming passion developing between her and Big Swiss. The work is constant and exhausting, requiring her to wake throughout the night to feed the stove, much like the vigilance required to maintain her elaborate deception.
For two and a half weeks, Greta and Big Swiss walk their dogs together daily. During these walks, Greta fabricates stories about her past, including a relationship with "Rob" - her first girlfriend who had platinum buzzed hair and dressed like a man. She describes Rob's distinctive cedar forest scent that worked on her "like catnip," though Rob claimed it was because she was half Cherokee. Their relationship was oddly chaste, possibly due to Rob's Catholic connections through basketball with nuns from St. Mary's.
These fabricated stories serve a dual purpose - they maintain Greta's false identity while allowing her to process her own complicated feelings about intimacy and attraction. The invented relationship with Rob mirrors aspects of her developing connection with Big Swiss - the intense physical attraction combined with emotional barriers.
During one walk, when Greta asks about Big Swiss's marriage, Big Swiss responds by kissing Greta's cheeks in what seems like a Swiss goodbye, but in slow motion. When Greta leans forward to kiss Big Swiss's lips, Big Swiss smiles, leaving Greta feeling jarred and humiliated by kissing her teeth instead. This awkward moment illustrates the cultural and emotional disconnect between them - what Greta interprets as rejection may simply be Big Swiss's European sensibility about physical affection.
Their relationship soon evolves beyond dog walks. Big Swiss returns to therapy with Om after missing her previous appointment, explaining she got "caught up at the dog park." She reveals feeling paranoid about being followed and describes feeling unlike herself lately - hyperaware, absentminded, and daydreaming constantly. She admits to masturbating frequently and shares that her new friend "Rebekah" reminds her of Detective Olivia Benson from Law & Order: SVU, a character who featured in her youthful sexual fantasies.
The session ends with Big Swiss revealing that "Rebekah" kissed her, pushing her tongue into her mouth unexpectedly at the dog park. When Om asks if she would kiss her again, Big Swiss is uncertain and admits she hasn't told her husband Luke. She mentions that "Rebekah" constantly calls and leaves long voicemails, telling her "everything" - unaware that "Rebekah" already knows her most intimate secrets from transcribing her therapy sessions.
This period represents the kindling of their affair - a dangerous fire that provides warmth and light but threatens to consume everything around it if not carefully contained. Like the woodstove in Greta's room that requires constant attention, their relationship demands vigilant maintenance of Greta's elaborate lies, with the constant risk of everything going up in flames.
Capítulo 7
Intimacy Built on Deception
As their relationship deepens, the boundaries between truth and deception become increasingly blurred. Big Swiss continues recounting her traumatic assault in therapy, including how she lashed out at an emergency room nurse afterward. She recalls saying cruel things to the nurse whose eyes filled with tears, a memory that still haunts her. When Greta suggests anyone would snap after such trauma, Big Swiss reveals this wasn't unusual behavior for her - she's always had "a low tolerance for weakness" but believes the assault made her kinder or "more charitable."
Their physical relationship intensifies, with Big Swiss demonstrating newfound intimate skills on Greta. She admits to studying sex manuals belonging to her husband, even reading passages aloud to him when caught. Greta asks for details about Big Swiss's husband, partly to confirm "he's real" and that Big Swiss isn't exclusively hers. Big Swiss explains they have an independent relationship with separate social lives and vacations.
When Greta comments on Big Swiss frequently checking her reflection, Big Swiss reveals she showed Greta's photo to her husband. This nearly exposes Greta's deception as Big Swiss remarks that Greta seems to be "inside her head," making it increasingly difficult for Greta to separate what Big Swiss has said in therapy versus in bed.
With Sabine back in the house, Greta and Big Swiss can no longer have sex in Greta's room, forcing them to meet in bars. At the dog park, which has been landscaped and become more popular, they picnic in the meadow. Big Swiss sunbathes provocatively while reading about dogwood trees, noting they're "bisexual" with "perfect flowers" containing both male and female reproductive organs - a metaphor that reflects the dual nature of their relationship.
When Greta complains about Big Swiss's emotional restraint and unwillingness to hold her hand, Big Swiss suggests perhaps Greta "should be with a man." Greta protests, asking why Big Swiss can't "gush a little," realizing she sounds like Om's clients. Big Swiss finally opens up, admitting she finds Greta's "bored expression" during sex "extremely exciting," loves her laugh, and finds her "angelic" while sleeping.
Their relationship is further complicated when Greta becomes paranoid about someone watching them from the woods. She confronts a man she calls "Keith," only to discover it's actually GMT, a gay client of Om's whose session she had transcribed the previous day. This paranoia reflects Greta's growing anxiety about her deception being discovered, as well as the real threat posed by Big Swiss's attacker Keith, who has been released from prison.
The intimacy between Greta and Big Swiss is genuine yet fundamentally compromised by the deception at its core. Each moment of connection is shadowed by Greta's knowledge that she's built their relationship on lies, creating a psychological tension that mirrors the physical desire between them. This contradiction - authentic feelings emerging from inauthentic circumstances - drives the narrative toward its inevitable crisis.
Capítulo 8
The Unraveling of the Charade
Two weeks into their affair, Greta receives an email from Om requesting she transcribe one final file before meeting him at his office. The recording is of Big Swiss, who describes a disturbing interaction with "Rebekah" (Greta). Big Swiss explains that while trying to rent their carriage house on Airbnb, she received inappropriate messages from someone claiming to be actor Javier Bardem. When she told "Rebekah" about this strange encounter, Greta admitted she was behind the fake profile, claiming she was testing Big Swiss for "terminal uniqueness" - a supposed superiority complex about being ignorant of popular culture.
Om points out that "terminal uniqueness" is actually a twelve-step program term describing someone who believes their experiences exempt them from consequences. He suggests "Rebekah" might be an addict with "mommy issues" who's acting out because she's upset about Big Swiss's upcoming trip to Ecuador with her husband. Big Swiss also reveals that Greta has made suicide pacts with multiple people and has attempted suicide before - fabrications Greta has told her.
The situation escalates when Big Swiss reveals her suspicion that "Rebekah" isn't who she claims to be, noting that two people have called her "Greta." When confronted, Om refuses to confirm Greta's identity due to confidentiality, but Big Swiss threatens to expose everything. The recording ends abruptly during this confrontation.
After this recording, Greta meets Om at his unexpectedly opulent office. He fires her immediately, telling her she'll likely never work in Hudson again except perhaps at a restaurant. Though upset, Greta admits feeling relieved she no longer has to maintain her charade. Om, while angry, offers her two or three therapy sessions before referring her elsewhere, with the condition that she transcribe her own sessions as payment.
The full extent of the deception is revealed when Big Swiss confronts Greta about her lies. When their argument escalates, they discover Greta's dog Pinon has been shot. Greta collapses in anguish while experiencing severe physical symptoms, causing Big Swiss to ask if she's having a miscarriage. Enraged by this question, Greta strikes Big Swiss hard enough to knock her down.
After a veterinarian treats Pinon's wound, Big Swiss reveals she paid his $1,200 bill, leading to another argument where Greta accuses her of feeling superior. Their heated exchange continues with Big Swiss defending her boundaries while Greta questions why she's involved with her at all. Before leaving for an early morning surgery, Big Swiss promises to call later to check on them.
This confrontation marks the collapse of Greta's elaborate deception. The foundation of lies can no longer support the weight of their relationship, forcing both women to confront the reality of what they've built together. The shooting of Pinon - possibly by Keith, Big Swiss's attacker - adds a layer of external danger to the psychological peril they've created for themselves.
Capítulo 9
Confronting the Past to Move Forward
In the aftermath of the confrontation, Big Swiss proposes taking Greta up on her earlier offer of a spanking, suggesting it might be "cathartic." Though Greta sees this as degrading for herself, she considers whether she deserves this humiliation for her impulsive behavior and the mess she's made. She submits to the spanking, which Big Swiss delivers methodically and vigorously with Greta's wooden hairbrush.
After the spanking, they become intimate again, with Big Swiss confessing she's quit therapy and is leaving for Ecuador in a week with her husband, adding she's "not done" with Greta. Greta insists Big Swiss must tell her husband Luke about their relationship immediately, a demand that reflects Greta's desire for authenticity despite her own history of deception.
Meanwhile, Greta begins therapy with Om, who immediately asks about her mother's suicide rather than starting with background information. Greta reveals she was at horse camp when her mother died. During the camp, she broke her foot when her horse stepped on it, and a handsome Italian man named Diego rescued her by boat. This created a magical interlude where Greta felt a sense of "hysterical rapture." She later realized this moment coincided with her mother's suicide, creating a disturbing juxtaposition of joy and tragedy that has haunted her ever since.
Om suggests Greta's guilt is like a straitjacket preventing her from experiencing life fully. When he examines her foot for the glass she believes is embedded there from childhood, he finds only a grain-sized fragment and suggests the rest is "in her head" - a metaphor for how Greta's perception of her wounds exceeds their actual presence.
The therapy continues with Om explaining how Greta has recreated her childhood conditions and attachment patterns. When Greta asks if Big Swiss represents her mother in this pattern, Om suggests that perhaps Greta herself has taken on her mother's role by becoming suicidal and seeking permission to live or die. Om encourages Greta to acknowledge her inner "shithead" - her aggressive, hostile side that she's been suppressing - and practice "reparenting" her wounded inner child, whom they name Rebekah, explaining that healing this part of herself would heal everyone she's hurt.
This therapeutic process runs parallel to the deterioration of Greta's relationship with Big Swiss. During a painful phone conversation, Big Swiss criticizes Greta for never fighting for anything, citing how she once lost a shoe in the woods and wouldn't even look for it. She accuses Greta of barely taking care of herself and questions if there's anyone she actually cares about besides her aging dog. When Greta tries to defend herself, Big Swiss suggests she considered ending her marriage for Greta but realized it would be "stupid and insane" since Greta isn't "really interested in living."
Big Swiss cruelly suggests Greta lacks the will even to kill herself. The call ends abruptly with Big Swiss saying she needs to return to her husband Luke who's "still fighting for his life," adding they might see each other again when Greta starts "fighting for hers." This harsh confrontation forces Greta to recognize how her pattern of passive detachment has sabotaged her chance at genuine connection.
Capítulo 10
Finding Authentic Connection
In the final stages of the novel, Greta begins the difficult process of breaking her self-destructive patterns. Sabine hands her a velvet pouch containing her cocaine stash - small blue bags stamped with handicap symbols. She explains she's been addicted for two years but can't bring herself to throw the drugs away, asking Greta to dispose of them for her. After Sabine promises to take Greta to Mexico next winter, Greta contemplates keeping the drugs but ultimately decides to break her pattern. She buries the pouch at the bottom of the trash can under multiple garbage bags, reflecting on how she once wished someone had done the same for her mother's suicide note.
This small act of responsibility represents a significant shift for Greta. Rather than succumbing to temptation or enabling Sabine's addiction, she makes a choice that protects both of them. The parallel she draws to her mother's suicide note suggests she's beginning to process her childhood trauma in a healthier way, recognizing how it has shaped her adult behaviors.
Afterward, Greta visits the donkeys in their pen, where they stand face-to-face "kissing" by blowing into each other's nostrils. The donkeys approach her cautiously, sniffing her with their soft nostrils, and lean against her legs while chewing grain - exactly what she wanted them to do. This gentle interaction with the animals provides a model for the kind of authentic connection Greta has been seeking throughout the novel. Unlike her relationship with Big Swiss, built on deception and power imbalance, this moment with the donkeys is simple, honest, and mutually comforting.
The novel ends without resolving whether Greta and Big Swiss will ever reconnect. Instead, it focuses on Greta's internal growth - her willingness to confront her past trauma, take responsibility for her actions, and seek authentic connections rather than relationships built on lies. The therapy with Om, though initially forced upon her as punishment, becomes a pathway toward self-understanding and potentially healing.
This conclusion suggests that the real journey wasn't about Greta's relationship with Big Swiss but about her relationship with herself. By confronting her tendency to create chaos, avoid commitment, and sabotage intimacy, Greta takes the first steps toward breaking the patterns established by her mother's suicide. The donkeys' acceptance of her presence becomes a metaphor for self-acceptance - the beginning of a more honest way of being in the world.
In the end, "Big Swiss" is not a conventional love story but an exploration of how trauma shapes our capacity for connection. Greta's unethical breach of Big Swiss's privacy ultimately forces her to confront her own damaged boundaries and begin the work of authentic healing. The novel leaves us with the sense that while Greta's relationship with Big Swiss may be over, her relationship with herself is just beginning - and that might be the most important connection of all.
