How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed by Ross Jeffries Summary

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About the Author of How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed

Paul Jeffrey Ross, born in 1958 in California and known professionally as Ross Jeffries, is the author of How to Get the Women You Desire Into Bed and creator of "Speed Seduction," establishing himself as a pioneering figure in the modern seduction community.

A former comedy writer who discovered neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) in the late 1980s, Jeffries trained with Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP, and became the first to commercialize seduction training through books and seminars. His 1992 book introduced techniques combining NLP and Eriksonian hypnosis to teach communication and influence strategies.

Jeffries founded alt.seduction.fast in 1998, the first online forum dedicated to seduction techniques, where early pickup artists like Mystery began sharing methods. He has appeared on The Dr. Phil Show, The Daily Show, and Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends. Neil Strauss described Jeffries as the "godfather" of the pickup artist movement in The Game (2005), where Jeffries mentored Strauss and Mystery. Filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson cited Jeffries as the inspiration for Tom Cruise's character in the acclaimed film Magnolia (1999).

FAQs About How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed

What is How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed by Ross Jeffries about?

How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed is a controversial dating guide by Ross Jeffries, founder of Speed Seduction, that teaches psychological persuasion techniques for attracting women. The 90-page book covers NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) tactics including anchoring, mirroring, pattern interrupts, and what Jeffries calls "covert hypnosis" to bypass resistance and create rapid sexual encounters. The book advocates an unapologetic masculine attitude and frames seduction as a series of learnable psychological techniques.

Who is Ross Jeffries and what is Speed Seduction?

Ross Jeffries is the founder of Speed Seduction, an early pickup artist methodology that emerged before the modern dating advice industry. He pioneered the application of NLP techniques to dating and seduction, creating a system focused on psychological persuasion and rapid results. Jeffries became a controversial figure in the seduction community, with critics describing him as a "caricature" who represents the extreme lengths some men will go to get laid. His work is considered foundational to the pickup artist movement, though largely dated by today's standards.

Is How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed worth reading?

How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed is worth reading primarily for historical context or amusement value rather than practical application. Reviews describe it as "dated," "impractical," and filled with "hoary old gender-biases" and misogyny. The book represents an early but flawed attempt at systematizing seduction advice, with techniques that have become clichéd or are considered unethical by modern standards. Most reviewers recommend viewing it as a cautionary tale rather than a how-to guide.

Who should read How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed?

How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed is best suited for "completists" studying the history of dating advice or those curious about the origins of pickup artist culture. The book appeals to readers interested in understanding psychological persuasion tactics, NLP applications in dating, or the controversial seduction community. However, multiple reviewers warn that the techniques are outdated, ethically problematic, and impractical for modern dating. Some suggest daughters should read it to recognize manipulation tactics.

What are the main techniques taught in How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed?

The main techniques include:

• Anchoring (using NLP to create automatic confidence triggers and associate yourself with positive emotions)
• Mirroring (matching a woman's breathing and gestures to build subconscious rapport)
• Pattern interrupts (attention-getting openers that disrupt normal thought patterns)

Jeffries also teaches storytelling techniques designed to evoke specific emotional states, the "AS-IF Principle" for building warmth, and methods for "breaking resistance" using shock, humor, or guilt. The book provides specific phrases, comebacks for rejection, and strategies for different pickup locations.

What is the core philosophy of How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed?

The core philosophy centers on an unapologetic acceptance of masculine desire without apologizing for who you are or what you want. Jeffries advocates an "I don't need you, you need me" mindset that emphasizes self-respect, independence, and inner validation over seeking female approval. The "bedrock attitude" involves focusing on what you want to win rather than what you might lose, maintaining resilience in the face of rejection, and believing you can't be controlled. This philosophy emphasizes direct action, reading feedback, and treating seduction as a learnable skill rather than luck.

What is anchoring in Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction method?

Anchoring in Speed Seduction refers to using NLP techniques to create automatic psychological triggers that produce desired emotional states. Jeffries teaches accessing "Picture Types 1 & 2" (powerful emotional memories) and linking them to specific gestures, touches, or words. The technique involves creating confidence triggers before approaching women, then linking arousal and physical touch during interaction through "sensory overlap"—shifting between visual, auditory, and kinesthetic descriptions to increase suggestibility. The stated goal is bypassing conscious resistance by creating subconscious associations.

What is the Jeffries Upright/Uptight Scale in the book?

The Jeffries Upright/Uptight Scale is a rating system presented in the appendix for evaluating women based on their attitudes toward sex and general character. The scale helps men assess compatibility according to Jeffries' standards, with "red flags" indicating potential problems. Warning signs include talking about sex too soon, rudeness toward service workers, flakiness, and other behavioral cues. The scale reflects Jeffries' approach of screening women quickly to determine if they fit his criteria for potential sexual encounters.

What are the main criticisms of How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed?

Critics describe the book as "rife with hoary old gender-biases, personal insecurity, and misogyny" that teaches manipulation rather than genuine connection. Reviewers call the techniques "silly," "dated," and largely unusable in modern dating contexts. Multiple reviews warn the book promotes unethical persuasion tactics, including guilt manipulation and methods for "breaking resistance" that border on coercion. One reviewer describes Jeffries as a "slimy lounge-lizard" and warns the book represents "what might happen to you if you throw all your energy" into manipulative pickup tactics.

Does How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed teach covert hypnosis?

Yes, chapters 17-18 cover what Jeffries calls "covert hypnosis" techniques for rapid seduction. These sections teach weaving stories designed to evoke specific feelings or emotional states in the listener, using detailed sensory descriptions. The method involves linking anchoring to arousal, using physical touch, and shifting between visual, auditory, and kinesthetic language to increase suggestibility. The stated goal is bypassing conscious resistance through these psychological methods, though reviewers note this represents some of the most ethically questionable content in the book.

What does Ross Jeffries teach about handling rejection?

Jeffries advocates using "slashing comebacks" that reframe rejection as the woman's loss rather than accepting it passively. The approach involves maintaining the frame that attraction already exists, pointing out consequences of her "not being with you," and using shock or humor to shift her perception. Chapter 4 emphasizes "The Power of Saying No" as building self-respect and demonstrating you have options. The overall philosophy treats rejection as feedback to adjust tactics rather than personal failure, maintaining an "I don't need you" attitude throughout.

How does How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed compare to modern dating advice?

How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed represents early pickup artist methodology that has been largely superseded by more sophisticated (though still controversial) dating advice. While modern approaches often emphasize self-improvement, social skills, and mutual attraction, Jeffries focuses heavily on psychological manipulation and rapid sexual outcomes. The book's NLP-heavy techniques, aggressive reframing tactics, and overt focus on "getting laid" have become clichéd punchlines in modern dating discourse. Most contemporary dating coaches distance themselves from Jeffries' methods, viewing them as relics of a pre-#MeToo era that prioritized technique over ethics.