The Advantage of the First Move: Why Women Should Message First
Explore why making the first move in online dating leads to higher response rates and better matches for women based on the latest dating app statistics and data.
Best quote from The Advantage of the First Move: Why Women Should Message First
By waiting to be picked, you might be missing out on the person you actually want. It’s the difference between being a passive observer and the one in the driver's seat.
This audio lesson was created by a BeFreed community member
why girls have high success rate in asking out rather than boys
Frequently Asked Questions
According to the data discussed in The Advantage of the First Move, women who initiate contact online are two and a half times more likely to receive a response than men who do the same. By taking the driver's seat and messaging first, women move from being passive observers to active participants, significantly increasing their chances of starting a conversation with someone they are genuinely interested in.
Research shared by Lena and Miles indicates that women who reach out first often end up having conversations with much more attractive men. While men still initiate contact more frequently, women who flip the script and send the first message tend to see better results. This suggests that boldness pays off by allowing individuals to connect with higher-quality matches rather than just waiting to be picked.
Dating psychology reveals a massive gap between traditional gender roles and what actually gets results in the modern world. While many believe it is the man's job to approach, the numbers show that these invisible rules do not match current dating app statistics. Understanding the psychology of success involves recognizing that breaking these traditional norms can lead to a significant advantage in relationship success and engagement.
The discussion highlights that straight women are currently three and a half times less likely to send the first message compared to men. This behavior is often driven by invisible social rules and the expectation that they should wait to be approached. However, the podcast emphasizes that overcoming this hesitation is key to taking control of one's dating life and achieving better outcomes through proactive communication.
Discover more
Become irresistible to women
Become irresistible to women
Modern dating requires a blend of psychological insight and practical social skills that many men were never formally taught. This plan is ideal for individuals looking to move beyond surface-level tactics to build a life of authentic confidence and masculine leadership.
Learn how to attract and keep a partner
Learn how to attract and keep a partner
Modern dating requires more than just luck; it demands a deep understanding of self-worth and interpersonal dynamics. This plan is ideal for individuals seeking to transition from fleeting attractions to stable, science-backed romantic partnerships.
Attract someone
Attract someone
This plan is essential for anyone looking to build meaningful romantic connections by moving beyond superficial dating tactics. It benefits individuals seeking to enhance their self-confidence, social intelligence, and ability to sustain long-term relationship success.
To have men chase me
To have men chase me
This plan is designed for women who want to stop chasing and start being pursued by shifting their internal value and external presence. It provides a strategic blend of psychological confidence and practical attraction techniques to transform your dating life.
Navigate the Dating Process
Navigate the Dating Process
Modern dating can be overwhelming with apps, changing norms, and conflicting advice. This learning plan provides practical strategies for anyone wanting to navigate the dating landscape with confidence, from self-discovery and attraction to building meaningful relationships.
Win crush over with psychological tactics
Win crush over with psychological tactics
This plan is essential for individuals looking to move beyond surface-level interactions and master the subtle art of attraction. It is ideal for anyone seeking to build self-confidence and use evidence-based psychological strategies to foster meaningful, lasting romantic relationships.
Improve flirting & dating
Improve flirting & dating
Dating and romantic connection are fundamental human experiences, yet most people never receive practical guidance on how to authentically attract and connect with potential partners. This learning path is ideal for anyone seeking to improve their dating life—whether you're newly single, re-entering the dating world, or simply want to develop more confidence and skill in romantic interactions.
Lead in life, love, and masculine attraction
Lead in life, love, and masculine attraction
This plan is designed for men seeking to align their personal character with their social and romantic goals. It provides a comprehensive roadmap for those who want to transition from passive observers to proactive leaders in their own lives and relationships.
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
