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    The Lost Art of Intimacy: Steven Mintz on Modern Relationships

    17 min
    |
    |
    Apr 16, 2026
    RelationshipPsychologySociety

    Explore the history of intimacy and modern relationships with Steven Mintz. Discover why emotional intimacy is declining and how to rebuild social connections.

    The Lost Art of Intimacy: Steven Mintz on Modern Relationships

    Best quote from The Lost Art of Intimacy: Steven Mintz on Modern Relationships

    “

    We’ve focused so much on 'safety' that we’ve neglected 'competence.' Consent is the floor—it’s the minimum standard—but it’s not the ceiling; it’s not the 'art' of intimacy itself.

    ”

    This audio lesson was created by a BeFreed community member

    Input question

    https://stevenmintz.substack.com/p/the-lost-art-of-intimacy

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    The Lost Art of Intimacy - Steven Mintz
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    https://stevenmintz.substack.com/p/the-lost-art-of-intimacy

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    "Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

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    "Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

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    "I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

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    "Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

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    "Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

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    "Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

    @Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
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    17

    "Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

    @djmikemoore
    platform
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    "BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

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    "Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

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    Featured book summaries
    Crucial ConversationsThe Perfect MarriageInto the WildNever Split the DifferenceAttachedGood to GreatSay Nothing
    Trending categories
    Self HelpCommunication SkillRelationshipMindfulnessPhilosophyInspirationProductivity
    Celebrities' reading list
    Elon MuskCharlie KirkBill GatesSteve JobsAndrew HubermanJoe RoganJordan Peterson
    Award winning collection
    Pulitzer PrizeNational Book AwardGoodreads Choice AwardsNobel Prize in LiteratureNew York TimesCaldecott MedalNebula Award
    Featured Topics
    ManagementAmerican HistoryWarTradingStoicismAnxietySex
    Best books by Year
    2025 Best Non Fiction Books2024 Best Non Fiction Books2023 Best Non Fiction Books
    Learning tools
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    Featured authors
    Chimamanda Ngozi AdichieGeorge OrwellO. J. SimpsonBarbara O'NeillWinston ChurchillCharlie Kirk
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    Key Takeaways

    1

    Section 1: The Paradox of Connection in a Digital Age

    0:00
    0:27
    0:51
    1:10
    1:24
    1:51
    2

    Section 2: From Seduction as Art to Seduction as a Hack

    2:03
    2:26
    2:43
    3:06
    3:28
    3:42
    4:02
    3

    Section 3: The Paralysis of the Modern Flirt

    4:16
    4:35
    4:56
    5:13
    5:34
    5:58
    6:16
    4

    Section 4: Recovering Wisdom from the Past

    6:29
    6:44
    7:02
    7:24
    7:45
    8:03
    8:29
    8:44
    5

    Section 5: The Five Missing Capacities for Intimacy

    9:02
    9:21
    9:42
    10:03
    10:24
    10:41
    10:58
    11:19
    6

    Section 6: Why This Matters Beyond the Bedroom

    11:30
    11:47
    12:07
    12:28
    12:45
    13:07
    13:20
    7

    Section 7: A Practical Playbook for Reconnecting

    13:37
    14:00
    14:20
    14:37
    14:55
    15:17
    15:34
    8

    Section 8: Closing Reflection on the Art of Being Human

    15:53
    16:12
    16:29
    16:53
    17:09
    17:29
    17:33

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