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    Categories>Psychology>Grief as a Wave: Understanding the Emotional Cleanse

    Grief as a Wave: Understanding the Emotional Cleanse

    15 min
    |
    |
    Jul 6, 2026
    PsychologySelf-GrowthWell-Being

    Explore the concept of grief as a wave with insights from Janet Philbin. Learn how the emotional cleanse helps you process loss through the ebbs and flows of pain.

    Grief as a Wave: Understanding the Emotional Cleanse

    Best quote from Grief as a Wave: Understanding the Emotional Cleanse

    “

    Healing isn't about the grief shrinking; it’s about your life growing bigger around it. If you let the waves wash over you instead of fighting them, you aren't moving on from the person, but moving forward with them as a continuing bond.

    ”

    This audio lesson was created by a BeFreed community member

    Input question

    Why my therapist says that my grandma passing away is like a washing over you? Like a quick cleanse?

    Host voices
    Lenaplay
    Niaplay
    Knowledge sources
    Living in the Flow of grief – Janet Philbin, LCSW-R, ACSW
    link
    https://www.janetphilbin.com/living-flow-grief/
    An Ocean of Grief: Change How You See Grief - Rising Sails
    link
    https://risingsails.com/an-ocean-of-grief/
    Ambush Grief & Coping Strategies — Collaborative Therapy Center
    link
    https://www.collaborativetherapycenter.com/blog/ambush-grief-coping-strategies
    Grief, Loss, and Bereavement - Mind and Body Works
    link
    https://mindandbodyworks.com/grief-loss-and-bereavement/
    Grieving: The Four Tasks of Mourning - Showit Blog
    link
    https://moderntherapy.online/2023-3-24-grieving-the-four-tasks-of-mourning/
    Why Grief Meditations in the Shower Work Better Than Sitting Still | Ahead App Blog
    link
    https://ahead-app.com/blog/Grief/why-grief-meditations-in-the-shower-work-better-than-sitting-still

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Experiencing grief as a wave means recognizing that loss is not a permanent, solid wall, but a fluid process. As discussed in the podcast, Janet Philbin describes this as sitting still in the ebbs and flows of pain. When you allow the intensity of the emotion to peak and hit you fully, the wave eventually moves past you rather than staying stuck. This perspective helps individuals understand that the heavy feelings of loss are natural movements that will eventually ebb.

    The term emotional cleanse refers to the process of letting intense emotions move through you rather than resisting them. Instead of making the sadness disappear instantly, this cleanse involves letting the wave of grief wash over you to carry away emotional residue. By not building a dam against these feelings, you prevent pressure from building up. This movement allows for a natural release, helping you process the loss more effectively by letting the emotion flow through your system.

    Janet Philbin is a clinical social worker who provides a poetic yet clinical framework for understanding emotional resilience during loss. She describes grief as a state of sitting still within the ebbs and flows of pain. Her approach emphasizes that grief is fluid and that healing comes from acknowledging the moments when pain peaks. By understanding these cycles, individuals can better navigate the difficult journey of coping with loss without feeling like they are crashing into a permanent obstacle.

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    Key Takeaways

    1

    The Metaphor of the Washing Wave

    5:41
    2

    Navigating the Ocean Without a Map

    2:20
    3:50
    3

    The Reality of Ambush Grief

    4:36
    4:44
    5:06
    5:41
    4

    Why the "Stages" Might Not Fit You

    5

    Growing the Jar Around the Grief

    7:49
    8:00
    8:22
    8:59
    6

    The Physicality of the "Wash"

    10:00
    10:15
    7

    A Practical Playbook for the "Waves"

    11:53
    11:58
    12:18
    12:37
    12:53
    8

    Finding the Shore Again

    13:29
    10:15
    14:41

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