Understand the biological addiction of trauma bonding and learn practical strategies to break the cycle of intermittent reinforcement, even when shared social circles and lingering advances make moving on feel impossible.

A trauma bond is a cycle where the toxic partner is both the source of the wound and the only person who can provide the bandage. It’s not about love; it’s about a biological hook.
Advice for breaking the trauma bond with somebody you’ve had an affair with you both got divorced. He did not end up choosing me. He dated other women and now he’s proposed and engaged to someone new. We have mutual friends we work out together and do the same Sport and he continues to flirt with me make advances toward me however he has a fiancé I get wrapped up and all the emotions I felt throughout the years for him. Please help.


샌프란시스코에서 컬럼비아 대학교 동문들이 만들었습니다
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샌프란시스코에서 컬럼비아 대학교 동문들이 만들었습니다

Lena: You know, Miles, I was thinking about how we often describe intense, rollercoaster relationships as "soulmate" connections, but the reality can be much darker. We’re looking at a situation today where a woman is watching her former partner—the man she left her marriage for—get engaged to someone else, all while he’s still flirting with her at the gym.
Miles: It’s a classic, painful cycle. What’s truly wild is that this isn't just "drama." It’s actually a physiological addiction. When you’re dealing with a trauma bond, your brain is releasing a cocktail of dopamine and oxytocin during the highs, and cortisol during the lows. It’s virtually identical to how the brain responds to drug addiction.
Lena: Right, so when he makes those advances despite having a fiancé, it’s like a hit of a drug that keeps her trapped in that "intermittent reinforcement" loop.
Miles: Exactly. It’s not about love; it’s about a biological hook. Let’s explore how to finally break those chains and reclaim your identity.