第1章
Unlocking the Four Faces of Personality
Ever wondered why your partner can't seem to remember appointments despite their best intentions? Or why your colleague obsessively organizes their desk while you thrive in creative chaos? Florence Littauer's groundbreaking "Personality Plus" offers a fascinating window into these differences, revealing that we're not just randomly difficult people-we're distinctly different personality types. This revolutionary framework has influenced millions since its publication, becoming required reading in psychology courses worldwide and earning praise from figures like Oprah Winfrey, who featured its concepts in her discussions about understanding human behavior. The book's enduring popularity stems from its remarkable ability to transform relationships by revealing why we act the way we do, and more importantly, how to leverage these differences rather than fight against them.
第2章
The Four Fundamental Temperaments: Our Psychological Blueprint
At the heart of Littauer's work lies the concept that all humans possess one of four basic temperaments, each with distinct strengths and weaknesses. These aren't just personality quirks but fundamental psychological blueprints that shape how we interact with the world.
The four temperaments-Popular Sanguine, Perfect Melancholy, Powerful Choleric, and Peaceful Phlegmatic-represent different approaches to life. While we may recognize elements of each within ourselves, most people have a dominant temperament that drives their behavior.
Littauer compares our personalities to different types of stone-marble, granite, alabaster, sandstone-that can be shaped but never fundamentally changed. Just as Michelangelo carefully selected marble for his sculptures, understanding that the raw material determined what the finished work could become, we must recognize our inherent temperament before attempting to improve ourselves.
This concept liberates us from the frustration of one-size-fits-all self-improvement programs. Instead of trying to transform ourselves into something we're not, we can work with our natural tendencies while addressing specific weaknesses. The author's own marriage transformation began when she and her husband Fred discovered Tim LaHaye's work on temperaments, helping them understand their fundamental differences rather than trying to change each other.
The beauty of this framework is that no temperament is inherently better than another-each brings vital strengths to relationships, workplaces, and communities. When we understand these differences, we can stop seeing others as deliberately difficult and start appreciating the unique perspective each temperament brings.
第3章
The Popular Sanguine: Life's Enthusiastic Entertainer
The Popular Sanguine brings color, enthusiasm, and spontaneity to our world. These natural entertainers live in the moment, drawing others into their orbit with magnetic charisma and storytelling flair. From childhood, they exhibit a bubbly personality that attracts attention and makes life fun for everyone around them.
Imagine walking into a party and immediately noticing someone gesturing animatedly, telling stories that have a circle of listeners doubled over with laughter. That's the Popular Sanguine in their element-the center of attention, feeding off social energy. They possess an appealing personality that naturally draws people to them, as demonstrated by the author's daughter Marita, who as a child created an elaborate play city that other children paid real money to join despite having hills nearby where they could build for free.
The Popular Sanguine excels at transforming ordinary experiences into extraordinary tales. A simple mishap like losing a car in a parking garage becomes an adventure story complete with dramatic pauses and comedic timing. They remember vivid details about what people wore rather than what they said, and they develop creative memory systems to compensate for their difficulty remembering names and facts.
Their enthusiasm extends beyond conversation-they're physically demonstrative, constantly hugging, kissing, and touching others during interactions. The author describes reuniting with her daughter at a department store with such dramatic embraces that onlookers assumed they hadn't seen each other for years rather than hours.
This temperament maintains a childlike innocence throughout life, approaching each day with wide-eyed wonder. As the author notes about her friend Patti, whose huge brown eyes topped with sweeping false eyelashes make her look perpetually surprised: "For Sanguines, everything feels like a fresh discovery, regardless of age."
Their curiosity drives them to explore and experience everything, fearing they might miss something exciting. At parties, they'll abandon conversations mid-sentence if they hear their name across the room, constantly "tuning in and out of different stations." This same curiosity sometimes leads to amusing predicaments, like the woman who was so interested in roof shingling that she climbed up to watch, eventually falling into the chimney and requiring rescue.
The Popular Sanguine's creative mind constantly generates exciting visions and ideas. They volunteer enthusiastically for projects without considering consequences, and while they may not follow through on every commitment, their ability to inspire and charm others makes them natural leaders who can rally people around their causes.
However, these strengths come with corresponding challenges. Their talking can become excessive, their spontaneity can lead to disorganization, and their enthusiasm for starting projects often outpaces their ability to complete them. Understanding these tendencies helps both the Popular Sanguine and those who interact with them navigate relationships more effectively.
第4章
The Perfect Melancholy: Depth, Analysis, and Artistic Precision
Where the Popular Sanguine brings excitement and spontaneity, the Perfect Melancholy contributes depth, analytical thinking, and meticulous attention to detail. Without this temperament, our world would lack the poetry, art, literature, philosophy, and symphonies that enrich human experience.
The Perfect Melancholy approaches life with seriousness and purpose, focusing on eternal values rather than trivial matters. From childhood, they exhibit thoughtfulness and a preference for order and routine. While a Popular Sanguine child might quickly abandon piano practice for more exciting activities, a Perfect Melancholy willingly endures the dull routine of scales, understanding the future benefits of their discipline.
Their analytical nature allows them to excel professionally. The author's husband Fred demonstrated this trait even as a child, enjoying dishwashing because he could analyze and improve the process. At Stouffer's Restaurants, he excelled at spotting problems-from crooked picture frames to untidy waitress bows-and solving them quietly.
Perfect Melancholies possess innate genius potential that, when properly cultivated, produces extraordinary results. Aristotle noted that "All men of Genius are of Melancholy temperament." They excel as writers, artists, and musicians due to their depth of study and commitment to perfection. Michelangelo's masterpieces endure because he went deeper than others-dissecting cadavers to understand anatomy before sculpting and spending four years meticulously painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
Organization is essential to the Perfect Melancholy's functioning. They think naturally in columns and figures, carrying index cards for daily tasks and creating detailed charts for events. Their attention to detail extends to everything from toilet paper placement (it must come off the front of the roll) to closet organization systems where clothes are rotated seasonally and socks are folded identically with heels aligned in the same direction.
This temperament maintains high standards in everything they do, living by the motto "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right." One husband spent an entire year sanding every shingle by hand before painting his house-only to be transferred shortly after completing the perfect job. Even small tasks receive extraordinary care, like the paperboy who ironed crumpled dollar bills before turning them in.
Perfect Melancholies are naturally frugal and love bargains. They meticulously cut coupons, shop during double coupon days, and save everything of potential value-from string too short to use to carefully labeled leftover containers organized by date in the refrigerator.
Beyond their organizational skills, Perfect Melancholies possess genuine compassion and sensitivity to others' needs. While Popular Sanguines seek attention, Melancholies observe and empathize with others' problems. They're moved by suffering and have a deep capacity to see into others' hearts, making them excellent counselors who willingly listen, analyze problems, and develop viable solutions.
Their emotional patterns differ significantly from the Popular Sanguine's rapid fluctuations. Where Sanguines experience "six emotional crises before noon," Perfect Melancholies have prolonged emotional cycles lasting weeks or months. A forgotten sandwich might trigger a week-long depression in a Melancholy, while seeming trivial to others.
Understanding these differences helps complementary temperaments fill what's missing in each other. Melancholies can help reduce Sanguines' daily crises, while Sanguines can prevent Melancholies' emotional plunges through better planning and sensitivity.
第5章
The Powerful Choleric: Achievement-Oriented Leadership
If Popular Sanguines talk and Perfect Melancholies think, Powerful Cholerics achieve. These dynamic individuals are born leaders who dream impossible dreams and reach for unreachable stars. They're outgoing, optimistic, goal-oriented natural leaders who typically rise to the top of their chosen fields.
Powerful Cholerics exhibit a take-charge attitude from infancy. They're born leaders who look through crib bars planning how to take over from Mother. The author's daughter Lauren exemplified this trait-at four years old, she managed the household and trained babysitters. By nursery school, her teacher noted Lauren could run the entire class without help.
This temperament has a compulsive need to correct whatever they see out of place. They straighten pictures in other people's homes and reorganize silverware drawers without thinking. At a seminar, the author and her Choleric friend Marilyn automatically fixed another woman's tucked collar and brushed lint from her jacket while continuing their conversation.
Decision-making comes naturally to Cholerics where others waffle. They solve problems efficiently but aren't always appreciated for their decisiveness. One woman's experience touring Europe with three Peaceful Phlegmatic friends illustrates this-she had to direct them constantly about schedules, appropriate footwear, and which attractions to visit.
Powerful Cholerics instinctively take charge of any situation, regardless of experience or knowledge. The author once became president of the Connecticut Speech and Drama Association at her first meeting-before even joining. At a luncheon with poorly arranged buffet tables, she and another Choleric independently developed identical plans to reorganize them for better flow.
Goal achievement takes precedence over pleasing people for this temperament. One Junior Women's Club president drove her chapter to win unprecedented awards while losing every friend in the group. When the author asked a Choleric woman to chair a committee, she agreed only if she wouldn't need actual committee members: "Those women get in the way."
Their organizational talent creates disciplined workers and achieves goals efficiently. The author's friend Connie trained her young sons to follow detailed instruction cards for household tasks, even preparing dinner for guests in her absence. Strategic reminder notes throughout the house maintained order.
While other temperaments retreat from challenges, Powerful Cholerics are energized by them. Tell a Sanguine something can't be done and they'll quit; tell a Choleric and they'll prove you wrong. One woman shared how she motivated her husband to hang drapes by telling him his mother didn't think he could do it.
Unlike Popular Sanguines who need an audience or Perfect Melancholies who need emotional support, Powerful Cholerics are self-sufficient. They view socializing as a waste of time unless it serves a purpose. They'll gladly organize your fund drive but have no interest in idle chatter.
Emergencies energize Powerful Cholerics. When the lights went out before a speaking engagement, the author immediately planned a new approach for speaking in the dark. Another time when a bagpipe band interrupted her speech, she quickly incorporated it into her presentation with a Scottish twist.
The Powerful Choleric's extraordinary work capacity is both asset and liability. Their drive for achievement makes them business powerhouses who accomplish more in less time than any other temperament. However, this intensity puts tremendous pressure on others, who may feel inadequate by comparison.
第6章
The Peaceful Phlegmatic: Stability in a Chaotic World
Peaceful Phlegmatics provide essential stability in our world. They offer patience with difficult people, listening skills, mediation abilities, and a calm presence during chaos. This temperament serves as a buffer, toning down the extremes of other personalities and reminding us that most things "don't really matter that much."
Peaceful Phlegmatics are the easiest temperament to get along with. As babies, they're adaptable, content wherever placed, and tolerate flexible schedules. They enjoy company but are equally happy alone. The author's son-in-law Randy exemplified this temperament-as a child he would quietly read while his parents played bridge, never causing trouble.
Their low-key personality makes them pleasant companions without conceit or pretension. Even when taking leadership roles, they often avoid the spotlight, not needing credit or attention. One young man described his Phlegmatic girlfriend: "I guess all of her, because nothing much stands out."
The most admirable trait of Peaceful Phlegmatics is their ability to remain calm during crises. While Sanguines scream, Cholerics lash out, and Melancholies sink into depression, Phlegmatics stay composed. They step back, wait, then quietly move in the right direction, unaffected by overwhelming emotions or anger, believing "it's just not worth getting upset over."
This temperament starts with realistic expectations and easily accepts life's ups and downs. With a naturally pessimistic outlook that doesn't depress them but keeps them "realistic," they avoid disappointment through moderate expectations. They don't anticipate sunshine every day or pots of gold, so when rain falls on their parade, they simply keep marching.
Though Powerful Cholerics are typically seen as business executives, Peaceful Phlegmatics excel as competent, steady workers with strong administrative abilities. Former President Gerald Ford exemplified these traits, described as "decent, friendly, compassionate" and "enjoyable, unassuming, relaxed." Phlegmatics succeed in administration because they get along with everyone, follow orders, work patiently through ranks, remain calm under pressure, and maintain an objective view of people.
In conflicts between parent/child, teacher/pupil, or boss/employee, the Peaceful Phlegmatic maintains peace. While others fight for their own way, Phlegmatics offer objective opinions and calm solutions. They excel in professions requiring patience and neutrality, like psychology or diplomacy. Warren Christopher, chief U.S. negotiator in the Iran hostage crisis, demonstrated typical Phlegmatic traits: cool, disciplined, diplomatic, and self-effacing.
Peaceful Phlegmatics have many friends because they're so easy to get along with. As children, they rarely cause trouble. They provide balance in families with more intense personalities, playing happily on their own and fitting seamlessly into family activities. Their calm demeanor and dry sense of humor help defuse tense situations, and they often serve as mediators.
As listeners, they excel by preferring to hear others rather than dominate conversations. This quality makes them ideal friends, especially for Popular Sanguines who need responsive audiences for their stories and experiences. They provide a calm, supportive presence that allows others to express themselves fully without interruption or judgment.
However, Peaceful Phlegmatics have their challenges too. They struggle to get enthusiastic about anything, which deeply frustrates their more energetic partners. They naturally avoid change at all costs and may procrastinate because they simply don't want to work. Despite their agreeable appearance, they can reveal surprising stubbornness when pushed too far, and their refusal to communicate feelings creates relationship problems that can build silently for years.
第7章
When Strengths Become Weaknesses: The Shadow Side of Temperaments
In each person exist both positive and negative traits, with many characteristics functioning as either strengths or weaknesses depending on their degree. When carried to extremes, our greatest assets can become our most problematic liabilities.
The Popular Sanguine's gift for vibrant conversation becomes excessive talking and exaggeration. Their colorful storytelling, when unchecked, turns into lying as they embellish details beyond recognition. Their spontaneity leads to disorganization, and their sociability makes them self-centered, more interested in talking than listening. They struggle with memory, frequently forgetting appointments, names, and even their own children-one Popular Sanguine group reported losing "four hundred and thirty-seven things this week, including seven children and one grandmother."
The Perfect Melancholy's analytical depth deteriorates into depressive rumination. They take everything personally and actively look for trouble, assuming every casual comment has deep, hidden meaning. Their perfectionism leads to procrastination as they delay starting projects fearing they won't do them perfectly. They place unrealistic demands on others, expecting everyone to meet their high standards. One elegant Perfect Melancholy woman arranged magazines perfectly on her coffee table-exactly two inches from the edge, with each one placed to show the name of the one beneath it-and thought her ten-year-old son needed psychiatric help when he rebelled by throwing them on the floor.
The Powerful Choleric's decisive leadership morphs into controlling behavior. They refuse to believe anything about them could be offensive, operating on the basic premise that they're always right. Their work ethic becomes compulsive, making them heart-attack candidates who must force themselves to rest. Their need for control makes them uncomfortable in situations where they aren't leading, and they look down on what they often call "the dummies of life." They excel at manipulating others to get their way and struggle to apologize, viewing it as a sign of weakness.
The Peaceful Phlegmatic's easygoing nature becomes indifference and indecision. They struggle to get enthusiastic about anything, which deeply frustrates their more energetic partners. They resist change and avoid work through procrastination, accepting titles without responsibilities and expecting others to do the work. Despite their agreeable appearance, they can reveal surprising stubbornness when pushed too far, and their refusal to communicate feelings creates relationship problems that can build silently for years.
Understanding these shadow sides helps us recognize our own tendencies before they cause damage. Like Shakespeare's tragic heroes, we each possess both strengths and flaws-we must recognize our weaknesses before they cause our downfall.
第8章
Complementary Differences: Why Opposites Attract
Opposites truly do attract in relationships. The authors rarely find people with identical personality patterns married to each other. When examining strengths, it's beneficial to have opposites united-Popular Sanguines lift Perfect Melancholies with their lightheartedness, while Perfect Melancholies organize Popular Sanguines.
Before marriage, couples typically focus on each other's strengths, believing weaknesses will disappear through their influence. The authors' own marriage exemplifies this: Fred (Perfect Melancholy) was attracted to Florence's Popular Sanguine personality to handle social conversations, while she valued his depth and organizational abilities. They were seeking to fill missing pieces in their own personalities.
However, these differences quickly create conflict. On their honeymoon in Bermuda, Florence impulsively crashed a motorbike while Fred was carefully reading instructions, leading to his lecture beginning with "Everyone knows that..." For fifteen years, Florence felt inferior until they learned about temperaments and realized different doesn't mean wrong.
Popular Sanguines and Perfect Melancholies clash over organization and spontaneity. Fred, a Perfect Melancholy, lived by strict schedules and couldn't accommodate Florence's spontaneous desire for ice cream. They also fought over toothpaste-he methodically rolled from the bottom while she squeezed randomly.
Powerful Cholerics and Peaceful Phlegmatics face their own relationship challenges. The author describes how Dotty (Powerful Choleric) tried not to control her husband Lewis (Peaceful Phlegmatic) by letting him handle vacation reservations. When he predictably failed to make them, claiming "they always have cancellations," they ended up in a dingy motel. Lewis blamed Dotty for not reminding him, while she fumed silently.
To repair relationship damage between opposite personalities, couples must understand their conflicting temperaments and work from extremes toward the center. Popular Sanguines must become more organized while Perfect Melancholies need to lower their standards. Powerful Cholerics should allow Peaceful Phlegmatics to make decisions, while Phlegmatics must follow through on commitments.
The author shares that she and Fred successfully transformed their marriage-she learned organization while he learned to have fun-proving that understanding personality differences can save relationships.
第9章
Building Better Relationships Through Temperament Understanding
Understanding personality differences takes pressure off human relationships, allowing us to appreciate others' traits positively rather than trying to make everyone like ourselves. This insight can be particularly valuable in family relationships.
For the Popular Sanguine, we must recognize their difficulty in accomplishing tasks. Rather than giving up on them or doing tasks yourself (which reinforces their weaknesses), provide clear, urgent instructions and follow up until they complete projects. Realize they talk without thinking first-their mind is "like a gumball machine-all bright colored thoughts rolling around in no particular order and when you press a button they come pouring out by the handful." Accept that they'll struggle with punctuality and remembering appointments, and praise them for everything they accomplish, as compliments are their essential nourishment.
With Perfect Melancholies, know that they are very sensitive and get hurt easily. Monitor your words and volume to avoid causing dejection. Realize they are programmed with a pessimistic attitude and learn to deal with depression by meeting them where they are emotionally, expressing understanding without blame. Compliment them sincerely and lovingly, but don't be upset if they respond with "What did you really mean by that?" Accept that they like quiet sometimes-they truly enjoy moments of silence, finding pleasure in staring into space, breathing fresh air, and meditating in moonlight.
For Powerful Cholerics, recognize they are born leaders with an innate desire to direct and control. Insist on two-way communication-hear them out, thank them for their perspective, then ask for time to respond. Know they don't mean to hurt with their blunt comments, and try to divide areas of responsibility clearly to maintain harmony. Realize they are not naturally compassionate and tend to look away from emotional needs-not from cruelty but from discomfort.
With Peaceful Phlegmatics, realize they need direct motivation. They're enjoyable, easygoing people who thrive with encouragement and goal-setting assistance rather than judgment. Help them set goals and make rewards-just as children work for gold stars, adults need reinforcement too. Don't expect enthusiasm from them, and realize that putting things off is their form of quiet control when feeling overwhelmed. Force them to make decisions rather than accepting a constant "I don't care," and don't heap all the blame on them just because they'll quietly accept it.
By understanding these temperamental differences, we can transform our relationships from battlegrounds to partnerships. We learn to appreciate the unique strengths each person brings rather than focusing on the ways they differ from us.
第10章
Personality Plus Power: Reaching Our Full Potential
Most self-improvement programs fail because they don't account for temperament differences, typically being designed by Powerful Cholerics for Powerful Cholerics. While Powerful Cholerics quickly grasp new plans and charge ahead, other temperaments respond differently: Popular Sanguines get enthusiastic but lose focus and materials; Perfect Melancholies analyze everything but avoid major changes; and Peaceful Phlegmatics find comprehensive programs overwhelming.
Understanding these differences frees people from guilt when they don't respond to motivational material in the "normal" way. Popular Sanguines need organization without feeling guilty about not filing everything perfectly. Perfect Melancholies need to relax without feeling guilty for not becoming instantly outgoing. Peaceful Phlegmatics should increase motivation without feeling guilty for lacking dynamic drive.
The second reason for failure is our lack of internal power for transformation-we need spiritual energy that superficial practices can't provide. The author shares how after losing two brain-damaged sons, she and her husband searched for answers to life's deeper questions. They eventually found that spiritual connection provided the power needed for genuine personality transformation.
God didn't make us all alike. Each one is unique. Paul compares us to a body where Christ is the head and we are the parts, each functioning in our own role. He made some to be feet (Powerful Choleric), minds (Perfect Melancholy), hands (Peaceful Phlegmatic), and mouths (Popular Sanguine). We need each temperament for the total function of the body, with each part doing its work to unify action and produce harmonious results.
The author concludes that if you wanted to become like Jesus, you'd amplify your strengths and eliminate your weaknesses, for He had the best of each temperament: the storytelling gifts of Popular Sanguine, depth of Perfect Melancholy, administrative ability of Powerful Choleric, and calm nature of Peaceful Phlegmatic. As you implement your improvement plan, connect to the Power source that makes it all possible.
Understanding our temperaments doesn't fence us in-it sets us free to be who we really are. It allows us to accept ourselves and others realistically, anticipate problems, and handle them before they escalate into crises. By recognizing our unique blend of strengths and weaknesses, we can work with our natural tendencies while addressing specific areas for growth, creating personalities that are truly "plus" versions of our original design.
