Chapitre 1
The Obsession That Drives Extraordinary Success
What separates the ultra-successful from everyone else? Is it intelligence, luck, or connections? While these factors matter, there's something far more fundamental at play-a quality most of us have been taught to suppress rather than embrace. Grant Cardone, who transformed himself from a broke, drug-addicted 25-year-old to the owner of five companies with $100 million in annual sales, argues that obsession is the true differentiator. His book "Be Obsessed or Be Average" has become a manifesto for ambitious professionals, entrepreneurs, and celebrities like Kevin Hart who credits the book for helping him elevate his career. With over 500,000 copies sold and translations in 18 languages, Cardone's counterintuitive message has sparked a movement challenging conventional wisdom about work-life balance. The book's controversial premise-that moderation leads to mediocrity-has made it both polarizing and transformative for readers seeking to break free from the epidemic of average that plagues our society.
Chapitre 2
How Obsession Saved My Life
At twenty-five, I was twenty pounds underweight with gray skin from drug abuse, working a dead-end job at a car dealership. My own mother had given me an ultimatum: "Don't come around here anymore until you get your life together." After twenty-nine days in rehab, my counselor delivered a crushing assessment: "You'll never make it. You're defective with an addictive personality and a disease you can never recover from."
That moment became my turning point. Sitting at my kitchen table, I wrote a new life manifesto. I realized drugs had become my problem not because I was obsessed with them, but because I'd given up on my earlier obsessions with success. The issue wasn't my capacity for obsession-it was what I had become obsessed with.
I committed to redirecting my obsessive energy toward rebuilding my life, throwing myself completely into my sales job at the dealership. Within six months, I became the top salesperson, outperforming veterans who wondered about my "secret." By twenty-eight, I wasn't the kid with the drug problem anymore but a sales professional in the top 1% of the auto industry.
Being obsessed with success never created problems for me-denying my obsession did. When I finally quit fighting my obsessive mentality and started nurturing it, everything changed. I stopped seeking advice from those settling for average and started studying other obsessive, successful people. When I owned my fantasies of indestructible wealth, fame, and creating a lasting legacy, my creativity became endless, my genius awakened, and I attracted like-minded people.
Your obsession is your most valuable tool for building the life you deserve. Even if you're currently obsessed with something unproductive, it proves you have the capacity for obsession. You just need to redirect that energy toward something positive and constructive. Being obsessed doesn't require education, money, or even abilities initially. It's about your desire and willingness to pursue a goal despite huge obstacles.
Chapitre 3
The Epidemic of Average Is Killing Dreams
We're suffering from an epidemic of average. The middle class sets their sights on just getting by instead of thriving, leading to lives of fear and worry. The statistics are alarming: up to 76% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, over half receive government assistance, and 67% of small businesses break even or lose money. College graduates drown in $1.3 trillion of debt, often working outside their field of study. The average American works under 35 hours weekly, with 70% disengaged at their jobs.
People accept mediocrity because their parents and peers told them it was okay to settle rather than becoming obsessed with their dreams. They're sold on happiness through borrowed money and middle-class stability, only to find themselves with no time for family and no money for pleasure.
Society has always had problems with people like us-entrepreneurial, competitive risk-takers. While we see ourselves as committed and driven, others label us abnormal, greedy, demanding, and tyrannical. They'll tell you to "slow down," "life is to be enjoyed," "don't work too hard," "take it easy," and "money isn't everything." These people, obsessed with comfort and normalcy, make up reasons for you to abandon your dreams. They claim obsession is unhealthy while ignoring their own obsession with mediocrity.
We're bombarded daily with distractions, lies, political agendas, crises, and false hopes that make people feel powerless. Millions waste hours scanning Facebook before going home to watch television on credit-purchased screens. In a world with more mobile devices than humans, we're blasted with endless internet content-Twitter feeds, Snapchat videos, useless posts, spam, celebrity fascination, and mindless streaming. With this much constant distraction, success becomes nearly impossible.
Remember: "Never take advice from a quitter." And average people are quitters-they've stopped striving for a better life. Steve Jobs wanted to "put a dent in the universe." Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. Gandhi wanted to be the change. These people changed the world because they were obsessed, staying committed long after others dismissed them as crazy, arrogant, or insane.
Chapitre 4
Finding Your Obsession's Purpose
To understand your purpose, constantly ask yourself questions. Answer immediately without judgment or worrying about how you'll achieve it. Do this daily and watch for patterns. Ask questions about personal interests (What excites me? What causes me to forget to eat?), money motivation (What would I do without money concerns?), skills and talents (What am I better at than anyone?), market research (What products have I complained about?), legacy (What do I want to be remembered for?), inspiring people (Who do I admire and why?), lifestyle (What gives me energy?), and "what if" scenarios (If I couldn't fail, what would I do?).
Your purpose isn't one thing-it's what constitutes a complete life for you. All of life is transition. You'll commit completely to your purpose, then later question it again as conditions change. Those who make the biggest difference know how to keep updating and refocusing their obsession as they mature and as opportunities evolve.
Writing goals down daily keeps you focused and committed. I write my goals every morning, evening, and whenever I feel lost. I shopped for real estate every weekend for five years before buying my first deal. Once I closed it, I immediately rebooted my goals to "I own more than 100 units with 12 percent cash flow." Within 90 days I achieved that, and within three years owned 500 units. Today I own more than 4,500.
My legal pad by my bed keeps me focused on my destination. I wrote "I am a best-selling author who has won many awards for my books" daily for years before writing Sell or Be Sold in just three hours-a book that sold hundreds of thousands of copies and won multiple awards. Write your future to achieve it, just as Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for $1 million when he had almost nothing.
Chapitre 5
Feeding Your Obsession's Beast
What you pay attention to is what you get. The more attention you give something, the stronger it grows. Success, winning, production, and reaching my potential all feed me. I make lists of what makes me stronger and what doesn't, using them to feed the beast and starve doubt.
When you're truly obsessed with good things, all your issues-self-esteem problems, introversion, fear-fall away because your attention is fully on what matters. Never decide anything's impossible. You need to channel your obsessions into an engine of massive momentum, then fuel it with the highest-octane stuff available.
Goals aren't just a nice "to do"-they're critical to your life's happiness. Feed the beast until it's so powerful there's no room for doubt. The moment you divert focus, you get lost in mental noise. Write goals every morning and read them every night until they become part of you. Then you'll see everything around you as a means to achieve them.
Keep your attention on the future rather than the past. What will you create that's never been done? Look through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. My real estate holdings have grown from a twenty-unit goal to owning property worth $400 million. Now I'm targeting forty thousand units and a $4 billion fund. When overwhelmed by such ambitious goals, I write them down anyway, focusing on providing housing for families and creating jobs.
The easiest way to feed your beast is learning something new or improving existing skills. Make successful people your mentors through books, conferences, and interviews. Turn travel time into learning time with podcasts and audiobooks. Don't just drink the Kool-Aid-swim in it.
We live on an economic planet that doesn't care about your skin color, religion, education, or intentions. Money is needed for everything-groceries, hiring people, charity, business growth. You must become obsessed with feeding the economic beast so money isn't a constant problem dominating you and your company. Most people talk about money's importance but spend it foolishly, then hesitate to invest in things that create more money.
If you're truly obsessed with feeding the beast and achieving success, surround yourself with great people who understand this mission. In all five of my companies, we've created cultures focused on feeding the beast together-with urgency, deadlines, and single-minded focus on projects. We don't tolerate counterorders, watered-down versions, or "yeah buts."
Chapitre 6
Starving the Doubt That Kills Dreams
Doubt is the dream killer. Most people are so filled with doubt they can't believe in themselves enough to become obsessed with their own success. It's the most dangerous form of mental terrorism, damaging people, organizations, marriages, and dreams.
Make it known to everyone-family, friends, employers, employees-that you're going all in on your obsessions. Tell them, "I am addicted to, obsessed with, and committed to my future, regardless of my past." Remove your foot from the brake and step only on the accelerator. Make it clear you won't tolerate doubt from anyone, have no time for blame, and expect complete support.
Doubt grows in areas where we think we're taking care of ourselves. Conventional wisdom about avoiding burnout, taking lengthy vacations, and seeking balance has proven counterproductive in my experience. In my late thirties, while running a seminar business delivering sixteen eight-hour seminars monthly across America and Canada, I started experiencing what others called burnout. People told me I was working too hard and needed balance. But when I examined my situation deeply, I realized I hadn't burned out from overwork-I'd lost track of my bigger purpose.
Most people believe they need vacations to relax and unplug, but I've found that when you're obsessed with achieving your full potential, you naturally regenerate energy. I've been on vacations that took more energy than work itself. People are vacation-starved because they think "time off" will renew them, but only reconnecting with your purpose truly rejuvenates you.
The concept of balance is ridiculous-I'm not trying to balance my life, I'm trying to blow it up. Obsession isn't about sacrificing important things; it's about having everything: health, faith, family, career, money. You don't need to choose between success and a good life. That's for average people who've lost control of their futures. Obsessed people demand it all.
When you pursue your obsessions fully, you'll attract critics. The more successful you become, the more haters and naysayers will emerge. First, make sure you're not one of them-handle your own self-doubt by focusing on massive goals. When I doubt whether I can build a $4 billion real estate empire, I write down the number, note my current position ($400 million), and think about others who've achieved similar goals. This shifts my focus from doubt to possibility.
Critics aren't just mean-spirited strangers-they include people who love and care for you. People who love you want you to play it safe; their instinct is to protect you from risk. The best way to handle them is to hit your goals repeatedly until they have no choice but to believe in you.
Naysayers are protecting themselves from being reminded they've settled for an average life. You're a threat because you challenge the justifications they made for their own decisions. Whether their intention is to help or hurt you, the result is the same: they add doubt to your already-challenging goals.
Unlike naysayers who think they want the best for you, haters actually want you to fail. They produce nothing themselves; they only try to stop those who do. I've come to embrace my haters-they promote me for free at the expense of their time and energy. When they hate on me publicly, they're spreading my name and brand. Love me or hate me, at least you know me.
Chapitre 7
Domination: The Path to Extraordinary Success
You can have boundless energy and intense drive, but if you don't dominate all areas of your life, you'll collapse. Dominating starts with you and spreads to employees, customers, and competitors. True domination begins with controlling your own mind-set-your thinking, actions, and choices.
When you neglect to control yourself, you waste years of life. The military's structure, ethics, rules, and unquestioning execution would benefit us all. In civilian life, most people don't operate under a culture requiring punctuality, proper dress, and peak performance. With too many choices, you feel confused. Set rules for yourself and analyze each area of your life so you can dominate what matters most.
People ask how I get everything done. Simple: I write down what I want to be great at, then become obsessed with making time rather than making excuses. I create quality time with my children through morning coffee shop visits. Kids don't need hours-just focused attention. My wife and I optimize time by working together in our business and inviting employees or customers to join our dinners. I fill my calendar completely to avoid boredom, stack meetings when traveling, and delegate tasks that don't fuel my obsessions. I don't manage time-I create it.
Money is an area you absolutely must dominate. Most people live with constant financial concerns, trapped in poor or middle-class thinking they inherited growing up. Your job is to get your own head right about money first, then help others overcome their financial doubts. My battle cry is "Who's got my money?"-a mindset that brings money to me easily and abundantly. It doesn't take money to make money; it takes courage.
Most of us were taught money is the root of evil and not to discuss it. I give you permission to talk about financial success. Avoid those who can't make money, who spend all their money, or who can't pick up the bill. Making, keeping and multiplying money requires monster commitment and obsession with growth. Money is everywhere-my attitude is that everyone has money, and if treated right, they'll happily give it to me.
Become an authority and get your message out there. What do you do better than anyone? What are you passionate about? What strong opinions do you have? Draw your face in the center of a paper, then create two columns-"professional life" and "personal life." In each, list your areas of expertise and defining traits. This helps identify what makes you unique and where you should focus your domination efforts.
Chapitre 8
Embracing Risk: Why Playing It Safe Is Dangerous
Trying to avoid danger in a world filled with it is impossible. Bad things happen daily-layoffs, losing customers to competition, market crashes. By trying to avoid danger, people actually spend their lives in danger. Avoiding danger makes sense only if you want to make cents. The only way to reduce risk is to take risk.
It's actually safer to be at sea than tied in harbor. Your ship wasn't built for the harbor but for deep waters and long journeys where treasures await. Comfort is your biggest threat-in seeking it, you lose potential gains. The only way to guarantee safety is becoming the most dangerous person in your space.
According to a 2008 Pew report, 88% of people live within a couple miles of where they grew up. The best moves of my life came when I left familiar settings. Comfort is the enemy of the obsessed. I first left my small Louisiana hometown for Chicago, then Houston, then La Jolla where I stayed twelve years until becoming too comfortable. I moved to Los Angeles knowing no one, met my wife the first night, and built a network. Later, feeling comfortable again, we moved to Miami.
These moves built monster personal growth, proving I can succeed anywhere, make friends anywhere, and create happiness independent of location. Being the biggest fish in the smallest pond kills ambition. There's no growth in staying where you are, no opportunity in comfort.
You can look friendly and still be the most dangerous person in the room. Be nice and respectful, but remember success isn't a popularity contest. I'd rather others think less of me than think less of myself. I'd rather they dislike me than put my business and future in danger by playing 'nice guy.' I'm not willing to go along just to get along.
The very definition of an entrepreneur is someone who takes greater-than-normal financial risks. Middle-class Americans have been brainwashed to diversify investments, but legends like Mark Cuban say "Diversification is for idiots." Andrew Carnegie said, "The way to become rich is to put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket." You're taught to diversify because "experts" assume you're lazy and will never do proper homework-plus they need to sell you their services.
When new technology emerges, hop on that bandwagon immediately. Learn it and wield it until something better comes along. When Periscope and Facebook's video-streaming launched, I immediately downloaded the apps and started streaming daily to strangers. Within three months I was among the top five streamers worldwide.
When doing something for the first time, I take chances, form opinions, make things happen, inspire people to remember me, and aim for the biggest possible outcome. I decide to own the place, stage, or interview. I play the role of someone massively successful, even if I'm not yet. I become the guy who acts and talks like he knows what he's doing.
Fear indicates what you should do, not avoid. I've been scared most of my career-when I'm not scared, I worry I'm not challenging myself. During the economic collapse, my massive fear converted into creativity and power while others pulled covers over their eyes. Fear will always exist, so don't try eliminating it-use it. The obsessed life isn't about peace and balance but constantly moving toward your fears and possibilities.
Chapitre 9
Building an Obsessed Sales Organization
Sales is not just a department-it's the god of any business. It affects everything: every person, company, industry, and entire economies. The revenue line is the most important on any financial statement. Companies die because they can't sell products in quantities great enough at prices high enough. Whether you're a manager, business owner, or just starting out, you must understand that sales is the lifeblood of any organization.
You and your employees must be passionate about what you're selling. Ask yourself: Does my product make a difference? Do I love it? Do I own it? Have I insisted my family buy it? Should people go into debt for it? Do I follow up with disinterested prospects? Could I charge double and still justify the cost? If you can't answer yes to these questions, you're not completely sold on your product.
A major failure in sales organizations is salespeople making contact with customers but never presenting figures or asking for the order. Our mystery shopper program with over 500 companies found this happens more than 70% of the time. It's why sales cycles are unnecessarily long, margins are thin, and over 50% of sales organizations miss quotas. If you miss a step, you lose the sale-whether it's not asking for the order, not presenting a proposal, not dealing with decision makers or influencers, not solving the core problem, or not following up.
Half of salespeople don't hit quotas-not because targets are too high, but because no one pushes them hard enough. Never lower a target; increase the pressure. Hold yourself and your team accountable. When someone fails to close, ask direct questions: Did you present an offer? Did you show terms and figures? Did you back off from the close?
Numbers don't lie; people do. When someone tells me they called "three or four" prospects, I demand precision-was it three or four? The obsessed sales manager tracks everything: attempts, contacts, presentations, calls, proposals, appointments, decisions, and closes. I have some sales reported hourly. Success needs constant attention-ignore it and you won't achieve it.
Daily sales meetings are essential-virtual, by phone, or in person. If you work alone, still have the meeting with yourself. Write down goals, track metrics, use CRM software. Keep meetings focused on getting your team motivated and ready. Have them perform the pitch, not just discuss it. Cover major objections they might hear. Focus on perfecting one amazing thing rather than a hundred mediocre things. Share success stories that prove your claims.
Chapitre 10
Why You Should Overpromise and Overdeliver
The old saying "underpromise and overdeliver" never inspires me. I don't believe in underpromising, underpitching, or underanything. I'm never moderate when selling, marketing, or branding. Underpromising is deception-don't start relationships with customers based on lies. If you have a great product and take care of customers, you're obligated to tell people how great your offering is, ensure they get it, exceed the promises you made, and repeat so they recommend you to others.
Look at what works for giants: giant claims. Coca-Cola promises "Happiness in every can." Fast food ads show perfect burgers that make vegetarians want meat. Movie promotions wrap entire buildings. Making substantiated giant claims isn't unethical-having a great product and not properly pitching it is. I have a superior company with exceptional products and people, so we overpromise and overdeliver. Become obsessed with being the best, then when you overpromise, it's not bragging-it's truth. No one wants average or will exchange their time and money for it.
If you never overcommit, neither you nor your people will ever overdeliver. Without pushing for higher performance, you'll never discover your company's potential. The more I promise the marketplace, the more attention I get, and because I scream about how great my offering is, I'm forced to deliver. When I'm not finding creative ways to expand, I examine commitment levels and raise my game.
The obsessed are willing to be reckless and manage chaos for growth. They find genius through complete commitment. In the beginning, your need for order will kick you in the teeth as fears emerge: "How will I get it done?" "What if I make a mistake?" "What if I can't deliver what I promised?" Don't get caught in details or fear new territory. Everything you've accomplished started with a "first time."
My business exploded when I started making big claims that forced me to show up big, not conservatively. By continually pushing into new levels, I've gained total confidence. Now I use statements like "I can handle it," "I can fix it," "I guarantee it," "We have the solution," and "Leave it with me" to express this confidence to potential customers.
Your pitch can always be improved-shortened, made to hit harder, and more effective. As the executive of your life, you need clarity on who you are and your value proposition. The saying "Don't toot your own horn" is a lie spread by the average. Most people never take time to work out their pitch. If you can't pitch what you do, no one will get obsessed with your offering. Create a pitch that makes your value scream-be outrageous and break conservative tendencies.
Chapitre 11
The Power of Persistence
It has become socially acceptable to quit rather than see goals through, despite countless stories proving the value of persistence. Walt Disney faced 302 financing rejections. Stephen King's first book was rejected thirty times. Oprah was deemed "unfit for television." Fred Astaire, Lady Gaga, Howard Schultz (Starbucks), Steven Spielberg, Bill Gates, Henry Ford, and Mark Cuban all faced devastating failures before succeeding.
When people quit, others comfort them with condolences and permission to give up. But comfort doesn't pay bills, and you're at your best when pushing beyond comfort zones. When I started my first business selling a proprietary sales training program, I was ready to quit within twenty-four hours. For two years, I faced daily rejection, making cold calls where people would hang up, curse me out, or tell me never to call again.
Most people quit right before their breakthrough moment. During a particularly low point in my career, sitting alone in a Houston restaurant after another failed business trip, I felt completely defeated. I desperately asked for a sign about whether to continue or quit. Driving home, I noticed a Salt Lake City license plate and took it as direction to try that market next. Though it sounds crazy, this tiny push kept me moving forward. I spent three days cold-calling Salt Lake City businesses, facing the usual rejection until finally getting an appointment. That trip became my miracle-I made more money in two weeks than I had in two previous years, forever changing my life and career.
"Perfectionism" is just an excuse for not starting and not persisting. While perfectionists delay launch until everything is flawless, I take their market share. The marketplace doesn't reward perfection-it rewards persistence and constant innovation. My first book, Sell or Be Sold, was written in three hours and initially criticized for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, but after four editions and numerous improvements, it won an award for "best sales business book" of all time. You won't get it right the first time, but through quantity and frequency, you develop genius.
My "overnight" success came after 150,000 social media posts, 78,000 tweets, 13,000 speaking engagements, 1,100 articles, 700 interviews, thousands of livestreams, and millions of flight miles. Better to fall forward than never try because you're waiting for perfection. Persist, perfect, then persist more-obsession is a cycle.
Chapitre 12
Sustaining Your Obsession for Life
The secret to sustaining obsession is straightforward: focus on everything that fuels you for the long run while eliminating anything that drains you or causes doubt. What you pay attention to is worth more than what you spend money on, as money, power, fame, and success all follow attention. These rewards are like jealous lovers requiring constant attention or they'll leave you. Since time is our only truly non-renewable resource, refueling becomes a crucial success hack-knowing how to get re-energized and keep running at full steam.
Like fire needs wood and cars need gas, your obsessions need constant fuel-primarily from your evolving life purposes. Your obsessions may change throughout life: perhaps you're focused on money at one point, helping people at another, or building self-esteem and respect. You might even decide to pursue all these simultaneously without compromise. Being obsessed with your purpose across all life areas allows you to accomplish everything you desire while revealing opportunities you couldn't previously see.
To maintain your obsession, implement these vital practices: Reach up for new friends who've achieved more than you-connect with the most successful people in your city and attend events where power collects. When vacationing, do it extravagantly-stay at the best places and position yourself to make valuable connections. Invest in mentors who can take you to another level-I spend hundreds of thousands yearly on coaches who help me see blind spots and connect with bigger players. Shop outside your reach by looking at luxury items beyond your current financial capacity to fuel motivation. Dedicate significant resources to education-I invest 10% of my time and income on personal development. Pay attention to physical health, as you can't sustain obsession without energy and wellbeing. Finally, be charitable with both money and time-I give nearly 30% of my gross income to charities and speak at schools, churches and organizations to make a difference.
Being obsessed isn't a weekend conference high-it requires tremendous commitment, clarity, confidence, sacrifice and persistence. You must be willing to be unpopular and in the minority. Your obsession must fuel you through disappointments and even successes, day after day, year after year. Use this book to challenge the average thinking of those around you and to identify who truly belongs in your life.
Obsession isn't just mental; it's a total game involving physical, spiritual, emotional, familial and financial aspects. Most people won't take this challenge, but for those who do, the rewards are extraordinary. The world needs more obsessed people who are passionate, driven, and alive-people who refuse to settle for average and instead demand extraordinary results from themselves and their lives.
