A Renaissance of Our Own: A Memoir of Healing and Transformation

Summary of A Renaissance of Our Own

1. 1

   When Everything You Were Taught Stops Making Sense

   

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   Picture a moment when your entire worldview shatters. For some, it's a quiet unraveling. For others, it's an earthquake. Rachel Elizabeth Cargle's transformation began with both - a phone buzzing in a museum and a question that wouldn't let go: *Why are you supporting a movement that has never supported you?* Standing among artifacts of the Hohokam people who lived communally, she was confronted with a viral photo of herself at the Women's March. While white platforms celebrated her image, Black readers challenged her participation in a movement that historically excluded them. This wake-up call sparked a complete reimagining of her life - from feminism to family, from work to rest. Rachel's childhood in Akron, Ohio was anchored in Baptist faith - a sanctuary where she felt safe among other Black children, away from her predominantly white suburban world. Church wasn't just Sunday services; it was the rhythm of her family's life. But when her father died despite her fervent prayers, when her sisters succumbed to addiction, when she found herself raising their children with her mother, the promises of faith began to crack. Fast-forward to her early twenties: married to Manny in a yellow sundress and khakis, trying to build safety through traditional vows. Yet a persistent voice whispered that something was wrong. After divorce, living in her uncle's basement eating burritos and watching *Scandal*, she tasted freedom for the first time - responsible only to herself, with no one dictating her thoughts or choices. What follows isn't just one woman's story. It's an invitation to question every inherited script you've been handed and ask: *What would my life look like if I designed it myself?*

2. 2

   Finding Your Own North Star: Values, Learning, and Self-Trust

   Start Listening

   Moving to Washington D.C. in 2013, Rachel met kind, loving non-Christians who often lived more like Jesus than church people she'd known. This shook her foundation. Without the Bible as her moral compass, she learned to trust her own inner knowing - integrating her rational mind, heart's desires, and moral compass. Letting go of Christianity brought grief, yes, but also liberation. Think of it like removing glasses you didn't know were distorting your vision. Suddenly, the world looks different - not better or worse, just *real*. When external authorities fall away, how do you know which direction to move? Rachel discovered the answer in her daydreams. Psychologist Angela Duckworth's concept of "deepest values" became her North Star. She observed what naturally emerged when her mind wandered. Where was she? What was she doing? Who was with her? Most importantly, *how did she feel?* Three core values crystallized: ease, abundance, and opportunity. These became practical filters for every decision. Should she take this job? Does it align with ease, abundance, and opportunity? The anxiety that once plagued her decision-making evaporated. Rachel's journey from a state school in Ohio to Columbia University dramatically changed her ideas about education and worth. Despite being a two-time college dropout, she applied and was accepted in 2018. Initially excited by Butler Library's vast resources, she quickly recognized the injustice of such exclusive knowledge. After witnessing Alexander McNab, a Black Columbia senior, being aggressively pinned down by security for simply entering the library, Rachel reached a breaking point. In spring 2019, Rachel became an independent scholar focused on Blackness and womanhood. She enrolled in community classes, attended Schomburg Center lectures, took courses at Juilliard, reached out to professors for syllabi. This self-directed approach was invigorating - the synergy between her learning and work created utter satisfaction. Since embracing her identity as an autodidact, Rachel has replaced her value for education with a deeper value for knowledge. Education is associated with institutions, but knowledge exists beyond their walls. You can do this too. Notice what occupies your mind during quiet moments. Imagine meeting your future self - five, ten, twenty years older. Ask: *How do I want to feel? What do I want to be?* The recurring themes point toward your deepest values - not your parents' values or society's values, but yours.

3. 3

   Love Without a Script: Rewriting Intimacy and Building Chosen Family

   Start Listening

   After leaving the Church, Rachel dated men in D.C., rebuilding confidence in her body and sexuality. Then came Vanessa-her first intentional exploration of attraction to women, suppressed since high school due to religious pressure. Their Brooklyn coffee date blossomed into months of connection, though Vanessa's open relationship initially challenged Rachel. Through Vanessa, Rachel realized she could pursue relationships with both men and women. More radically, she valued falling in love repeatedly rather than seeking one "right" person. She preferred a primary partnership that allows additional connections-defining commitment on her own terms. As marriage lost its central position, friendships with women provided the stability she'd been taught to seek in marriage. She built chosen family intentionally, sharing Friendsgiving and important rites of passage. Her nanny experience revealed a truth: what made her good at caregiving-years caring for her disabled mother and sisters' children-was why she didn't want children herself. She created Rich Auntie Supreme, a community celebrating child-free existence while nurturing roles as aunts and othermothers. Your first relationships aren't chosen, but you can be ruthlessly intentional about creating your most intimate connections.

4. Chapter 4

   The Feminism They Didn't Teach You: Confronting Whitewashed History

   A 2013 PBS documentary introduced Rachel to feminism. Her religious upbringing had painted feminists as angry women or lesbians. She devoured books about suffragists and reproductive rights-but everything featured white women. Black women were invisible. By 2015, she organized a Women's March bus with her friend Dana. They recreated Gloria Steinem and Dorothy Pitman Hughes's iconic raised-fist pose at the Capitol. The photo went viral. Months later, it resurfaced with comments calling out white supremacy within feminism. This sparked intensive research during travels through Japan and Thailand. What she uncovered was devastating. Susan B. Anthony said she'd "cut off this right arm" before demanding voting rights for Black people over white women. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Carrie Chapman Catt made similarly racist statements. She'd been sold a whitewashed feminism. She discovered Ida B. Wells defying segregation at the 1913 suffrage march, and Frances Ellen Watkins Harper calling out white suffragists' hypocrisy in 1866. Sharing these truths on Instagram grew her following to 80,000 by early 2018. On a train to Harvard, she crystallized three elements for effective allyship: Knowledge (learning facts), Empathy (examining one's role in others' pain), and Action (taking concrete steps). This KEA framework became the backbone of her work.

   Chapter 5

   Work as World-Building: Creating Enterprises That Reflect Your Values

   Rachel's childhood dream of teaching-creating worksheets for her dolls-remains central to her work. In Washington D.C., she studied successful Black women entrepreneurs like Oprah and Beyonce, learning how they built companies integrating creative goals with world-building visions. After leaving Columbia in 2019, Rachel developed The Great Unlearn (TGU)-a natural evolution of her community education work. When COVID-19 halted her traveling lectures in 2020, she launched TGU within months: a public education platform featuring expertly curated monthly syllabi that properly compensated diverse thought leaders. With TGU's success, Rachel invested in building The Loveland Group by hiring full-time employees who shared her values, and established The Loveland Foundation, providing free mental health therapy for Black women and girls. The Loveland Group operates on matriarchal principles-prioritizing sustainability and collective health over domination and concentrated power. Rachel's journey proves that when you align your work with your deepest values, you're not just making a living-you're manifesting a vision of how the world could be.

   Chapter 6

   Rest as Resistance: Reclaiming the Right to Simply Be

   While building The Loveland Foundation throughout 2019, Rachel neglected her own mental health. When racial uprisings and COVID-19 hit in 2020, her work as an anti-racism educator accelerated-until she finally had to stop. During brunch in Harlem, her friend EbonyJanice asked what they'd do with their lives if they weren't busy trying to survive whiteness. As Toni Morrison warned, racism functions as distraction-keeping you explaining your existence rather than doing your work. By late 2021, Rachel felt completely depleted. Her life had become consumed by managing social media arguments, delivering lectures despite death threats, responding to every instance of racial violence. EbonyJanice's words echoed: *"You are the Black woman you are fighting for."* Rachel realized she would never tell another exhausted Black woman to ignore her needs-yet she was demanding exactly that of herself. Western activism glorifies the perpetually angry, impoverished activist whose suffering legitimizes their work. Rachel decided to pivot from fighting white supremacy toward intentionally nourishing Black women-reimagining activism where one could be well-rested, joyful, and effective. She discovered Tricia Hersey's Nap Ministry: "Rest is resistance because it pushes back against capitalism and white supremacy." The Loveland Group partnered with Getaway to create "100 Nights of Rest"-offering Black changemakers free accommodations, travel reimbursement, and food stipends. The program expanded to "A Year of Rest," and Rachel implemented seasonal rests-two weeks of paid time off in summer and winter. Rest wasn't a luxury. It was survival. It was resistance.

   Chapter 7

   Your Renaissance Is Waiting: Writing Your Own Script

   Nearly ten years ago, newly divorced in Washington D.C., Rachel wrote "A Renaissance of My Own" in a yellow notebook, manifesting a dream about bold reimagining. This journey isn't about finding ourselves but deciding who we want to be. The concept of one's "chosen self" rather than "best self" shifts our focus from striving to alignment with what nourishes us. Everything around us-government, education, family structures, frameworks for love-came from human minds. Your mind can shape reality too. This isn't easy, but it can be easeful. While "easy" means little hardship, "easeful" refers to comfort from living in alignment with what matters most. This peace surfaces when our efforts go toward our values, when we choose a life that feels good to us rather than just looking good to others. This is your permission to tear up the scripts and write your own. Question inherited wisdom about marriage, career, family, success. Notice what lights you up during quiet moments. Trust that inner compass more than external validation. Build your chosen family intentionally. Create work that reflects your values. Rest without guilt. Your renaissance isn't about becoming someone new-it's about unlearning everything that isn't authentically you. Every system was invented by humans, and you have just as much right to invent your own way. Your renaissance is waiting.

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