Sexual pleasure is a health right, not a luxury
Sexual health is often taught through fear, but prioritizing pleasure can reduce stress. Learn why your brain is the key to better intimacy and well-being.
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Sexual pleasure is actually a fundamental part of our well-being; it’s not just a luxury, it’s a health right.
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Sexual pleasure
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The brain acts as the command center for arousal by managing a complex neurobiological feedback loop. When we experience pleasure, the hypothalamus influences the production of hormones like estrogen and testosterone, while the reward system releases dopamine and norepinephrine. Interestingly, the brain also deactivates the amygdala—the area responsible for fear and judgment—to create a "love bubble" that allows for vulnerability and bonding.
The Dual Control Model explains sexual desire using the metaphor of a car’s accelerator and brakes. The "accelerator" (excitation system) scans the environment for reasons to be turned on, while the "brakes" (inhibition system) scan for reasons not to be, such as stress, fatigue, or body image insecurities. Improving intimacy often involves identifying and lifting the "brakes" rather than simply trying to push harder on the accelerator.
Self-expansion is the fundamental human drive to grow and gain new perspectives. In new relationships, expansion happens naturally as you learn about your partner, but this can stall over time. By engaging in novel, challenging, or adventurous activities together—like taking a class or exploring a new place—couples can trigger a "misattribution of arousal," where the brain attributes the excitement of the new activity to the partner, helping to view them with renewed curiosity.
The orgasm gap refers to the statistical disparity in climax frequency between men and women in heterosexual relationships. This is often fueled by the "coital imperative," the social script that suggests vaginal penetration is the only "real" sex. The script overlooks the fact that three out of four women do not reach orgasm through penetration alone and that the clitoris is a specialized organ designed specifically for pleasure. Moving away from performance-based "scripts" toward mutual exploration and communication helps close this gap.
One of the most effective ways to lower the "brakes" is to engage in low-pressure touch that does not necessarily lead to sex, such as a ninety-second hug or sitting close together. These actions release oxytocin, which buffers cortisol (the stress hormone). Additionally, prioritizing the "afterglow"—the emotional bonding and cuddling that happens after intimacy—is a stronger indicator of relationship fulfillment than the frequency of sex itself.
Creado por exalumnos de la Universidad de Columbia en San Francisco
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Creado por exalumnos de la Universidad de Columbia en San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
