Capítulo 4
You Have To Speak Their Secret Love Language
I know "love language" sounds like something you’d talk about on a first date, but in the office, it is the only way to get things done . Every executive has a specific way they process information. Some people absolutely loathe PowerPoints—it literally crushes their soul . Others only want to see the cold, hard data and couldn't care less about your "vision" . You have to figure out if your boss wants ten minutes of quiet reading time before talking, or if they need a 15-minute high-level briefing before the board meeting .
And here is where it gets spicy—you need to start asking better questions to find their emotional drive . Instead of the boring "what’s top of mind?" which everyone asks, try asking something like, "What is the board pushing you on right now?" . Because bestie, everyone has a boss—even the CEO . If you can figure out what they are scared of messing up or how they are being measured, you can align your project with their success . Jessica Fain mentions how at Slack, they used a "Hey Stuart" meeting style (named after the CEO, Stuart Butterfield) just to download his expertise before anything was "done" . They realized that if they brought him a finished design, he’d hate it because it wasn't how he saw it in his head . But by asking for his "past experience" early on, they were co-creating with him . You want them to feel like they’ve built the product alongside you. That way, they aren't just approving your plan—they’re defending *their* plan.
Capítulo 5
The Most Powerful Move Is Actually Killing Your Own Ideas
This is going to sound totally counterintuitive, but if you want an executive to trust you, you have to be willing to kill things . Seriously. One of the biggest trust-builders is when a leader sees that you can deprioritize your own work . If you act like a "yes man" who thinks every single feature is a priority, they’ll stop believing you. But if you come to them and say, "Actually, I don’t think this is the highest leverage thing right now, we should kill it and do X instead," you are showing them you have a leadership mindset . You are acting like a CPO because you’re looking at the whole business, not just your own ego .
There is this whole concept in behavioral economics called "loss aversion"—basically, the pain of losing something feels twice as strong as the joy of gaining something . Executives are often terrified of making a mistake that costs money or reputation. If you can frame your idea as "securing" what the company already has or "stopping the bleeding" of a failed strategy, it lands way better than just promising a big shiny win . You have to make the "right" choice the "easy" choice . Jessica Fain talks about a "customer love sprint" at Slack where they stopped everything for two weeks just to fix the rough edges . It wasn't about a new feature; it was about protecting the "mojo" of the craft that made Slack great in the first place . When you show you care about the business's soul more than your own project list, people start to listen.
Capítulo 6
Don't Just Bring One Option Unless You Want To Get Roasted
I have learned this the hard way: never, and I mean *never*, walk into a review with only one solution . It makes you look like you haven't done your homework. Jessica Fain tells this story about a product review with her manager, Rachel Woolen, that went totally south because they only brought one approach . Rachel was basically like, "I don’t understand how you’re thinking about the permutations of what’s possible here" . They had to come back two days later with a document showing all the options they had considered and why they thought they would or wouldn't serve the outcomes they were driving and the technical complexity behind them .
Once they showed the technical complexity and the trade-offs of the other paths, their boss finally got it . It’s like the classic "Goldilocks" strategy—give them three options, and the one in the middle usually feels like the perfect fit . It proves you aren't dumb and that you didn't miss anything obvious . Oh, and here is a pro-tip from the Slack days: they had a rule called "Stuart plus two more" . After a design review with Stuart, he'd say, "No, do it exactly like this," they would do that version *plus* two other versions they felt good about . This created a forum for an actual debate about the merits of each approach rather than just taking a mandate. It gives you an opinion while still respecting their authority. You’re the domain expert—you are paid to have a perspective, but you have to show the work behind it .
Capítulo 7
Your Influence Playbook For Winning The Room
Okay bestie, let’s wrap this up into a literal step-by-step guide so you can go kill it in your next meeting. First, you have to map your stakeholders . Who is your "Primary"—the one who can actually say yes? And who is the "Secondary"—the people who have that person’s ear? . Once you know who you’re talking to, use the "Foot-in-the-Door" technique . Don’t ask for a $500,000 budget on day one. Ask for a pilot program or a 30-day trial . Once people say "yes" to a small step, they are psychologically committed to the logic of the project and it’s way easier to get the big "yes" later .
Second, flip your presentation style. Use the "Mento pyramid"—start with your recommendation first, then show the evidence . Don't make them wait until slide twenty to know what you want. And please, for the love of everything, keep the "process" stuff in the appendix . They assume you did the job; they don't need to see every single user interview you did unless they ask . Third, signal ownership, not just enthusiasm . Don’t say, "What do you think about this?" That’s weak. Say, "Here is the decision I’m asking for, here are the trade-offs, and here is what I will own" . Executives fund owners because owners reduce risk . And finally, if they seem skeptical, give them certainty about the *next check-in point* . If you say, "I don’t know if this will work yet, but let’s check back on X date," it de-escalates the fear of a permanent failure .
Capítulo 8
Ownership Is The Only Way Out
At the end of the day, influence isn't about being the loudest person in the room or having the fanciest slides. It’s about building a relationship where people feel like you are a strategic partner who adds real value . It is honestly so much more human than just "playing the game." You have to genuinely care about the context your executives are bringing to the table . They understand the whole industry and the board pressures in a way you don't—so use them as a resource! . Ask them, "What am I not seeing operationally?" . When you show that you respect their expertise, they’ll start to respect yours.
Think about it—to grow your career, you have to broaden your perspective beyond just your one feature or your one team . You have to think about the whole ecosystem of the company . That’s how you get seen as a "strategic thinker" . So, the next time you have a big idea, don't just "pitch" it. Sit in their seat first . Ask yourself what would make *them* successful. If you can help them win, you’ve already won. I’m honestly so excited for you to try these tactics—go out there and make that inevitable "yes" happen. You’ve totally got this, and I can’t wait to hear how it goes. Thank you so much for spending this time with me—it was such a vibe to finally break all of this down with you. Go reflect on which executive you need to "pre-sell" this week and just go for it!
