What is *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* about?

*Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* by Lois P. Frankel and Carol Frohlinger offers 99 strategies to help women overcome societal conditioning that prioritizes politeness over self-advocacy. It addresses “nice girl syndrome”—behaviors like avoiding conflict or over-apologizing—and teaches readers to set boundaries, negotiate effectively, and transition from people-pleasing to becoming “winning women” in careers, relationships, and life.

Who should read *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It*?

This book is ideal for women who feel overlooked, struggle to voice their needs, or face challenges asserting themselves professionally or personally. It’s particularly relevant for those navigating male-dominated workplaces, managing interpersonal dynamics, or seeking to balance kindness with self-advocacy.

Is *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* worth reading?

Yes, for its actionable advice on reframing societal expectations. Readers praise its concise, practical tactics—like rejecting unnecessary apologies or handling criticism—though some critique its focus on individual behavior over systemic issues.

How does *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* differ from Frankel’s *Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office*?

While *Corner Office* targets workplace-specific barriers, *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It* expands to personal life, offering broader strategies for asserting needs in relationships, family, and daily interactions. Both emphasize unlearning “girlhood” socialization.

What are the main strategies in *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It*?

Key strategies include: - Replacing self-deprecation with confident acceptance of compliments. - Using “Plexiglas shields” to deflect unwarranted criticism. - Prioritizing transactional reciprocity over one-sided generosity. - Avoiding over-apologizing and setting clear personal boundaries.

What does the “Plexiglas shields” metaphor mean?

The term advises women to develop emotional resilience against negativity or jealousy. Like transparent armor, it allows visibility but blocks harmful remarks from affecting self-esteem or progress.

How does the book address workplace negotiation?

It critiques women’s reluctance to negotiate (citing *Women Don’t Ask*) and provides scripts for advocating raises, projects, or recognition. Tips include framing requests as mutually beneficial and anticipating resistance.

What criticisms exist about *Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It*?

Some argue it overemphasizes personal responsibility, downplaying systemic sexism. Critics note dated views on appearance and a potential “victim-blaming” tone when addressing ingrained socialization.

Las mujeres listas no piden permiso

99 maneras de obtener las cosas que deseas, el éxito que te has ganado y el respeto que mereces

Lois P. Frankel

3.61(519 Reviews)

Resumen de Las mujeres listas no piden permiso

Descubre por qué "Nice Girls Just Don't Get It" se convirtió en el manual esencial para mujeres profesionales en todas partes. Avalado por el coach ejecutivo Marshall Goldsmith, el éxito de ventas de Frankel revela los 101 errores de autosabotaje que impiden a las mujeres reclamar su poder: secretos que incluso Sheryl Sandberg podría aprobar.

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Capítulo 1

Introduction: The Nice Girl Problem

Have you ever felt invisible? Taken advantage of? Reluctant or unable to articulate what you really want? If so, welcome to the nice girls club. I'm Lois Frankel, and along with my co-author Carol Frohlinger, we're here to help you transform from a nice girl into a winning woman. Nice girls are those more concerned with pleasing others than addressing their own needs. They haven't yet learned how to overcome the childhood messages and cultural stereotypes that keep them from getting their voices heard, their needs met, and the lives they want. But that's about to change. In this book, we'll explore seven key strategies and 99 supporting tactics that every winning woman should know. By the time you finish, you'll have the tools to win respect, achieve success, and create the life you truly desire - all without sacrificing your inherent kindness and compassion.

Capítulo 2

Part 1: Understanding the Nice Girl Syndrome

Let's start by understanding what it means to be a "nice girl" and why it's holding you back. Nice girls are taught from a young age to be polite, accommodating, and to avoid conflict at all costs. While these traits can make you likable, they often come at the expense of your own needs and desires. Nice girls tend to: • Avoid asking for what they want directly • Apologize excessively, even when they've done nothing wrong • Take on extra work to be helpful, often to their own detriment • Struggle to say "no" to requests, even unreasonable ones • Downplay their own accomplishments and expertise Sound familiar? Don't worry, you're not alone. Many women struggle with these behaviors, but the good news is they can be unlearned. The first step is recognizing these patterns in yourself.

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Capítulo 3

Part 2: From Nice Girl to Winning Woman

So what does it mean to be a "winning woman" instead? Winning women understand that being kind and being assertive are not mutually exclusive. They've learned to factor their own needs in with those of others, to confront disrespect, and to maintain healthy boundaries in their relationships. Winning women: • Communicate their wants and needs clearly and directly • Take credit for their accomplishments • Say "no" to requests that don't align with their priorities • Negotiate for what they deserve in work and life • Stand up for themselves and others when treated unfairly The shift from nice girl to winning woman doesn't happen overnight. It takes practice and persistence. But with each small win, you'll gain confidence and momentum.

Capítulo 4

Part 3: Practical Strategies for Success

Now let's look at some practical ways to put these principles into action. One of the most powerful things you can do is learn to ask for what you want - directly and without apology. For example, instead of hinting that you'd like help with housework, try saying to your partner: "I need you to take on half of the household chores. Can we sit down and divide up the tasks fairly?" Notice there's no apologizing, no minimizing the request. Another key strategy is learning to say "no" gracefully but firmly. When asked to take on an extra project at work that you don't have capacity for, you might say: "I appreciate you thinking of me for this, but my plate is full right now. I wouldn't be able to give it the attention it deserves." Remember, saying "no" to some things allows you to say "yes" to what really matters to you. It's not selfish - it's essential for maintaining balance and achieving your goals.

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Capítulo 5

Part 4: Navigating Difficult Conversations

Many nice girls struggle with confrontation, but learning to handle difficult conversations is crucial for success. Whether it's addressing a colleague who's taking credit for your work or discussing relationship issues with your partner, these talks are necessary for growth. The key is to prepare in advance and stay focused on the issue at hand. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without attacking. For instance: "I felt frustrated when my idea was presented without acknowledgment. In the future, I'd appreciate credit for my contributions." Practice having these conversations with a trusted friend first. The more you do it, the more comfortable you'll become. And remember, most people respect those who can articulate their thoughts and feelings clearly and calmly.

Capítulo 6

Part 5: Building Your Confidence

Confidence is key to becoming a winning woman, but it's not about bravado or arrogance. True confidence comes from knowing your worth and being willing to stand up for it. Start by taking stock of your strengths and accomplishments. Keep a "success journal" where you record your achievements, big and small. Review it regularly, especially before important meetings or negotiations. Challenge yourself to speak up more in meetings. If you have an idea, share it. If you disagree with something, say so respectfully. Each time you do this, you're building your confidence muscle. And here's a powerful tip: stand up straight and take up space. Your body language affects how others perceive you and how you feel about yourself. Practice power poses before important events - it really works!

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Capítulo 7

Part 6: Creating the Life You Want

Becoming a winning woman isn't just about succeeding at work - it's about creating a life that truly fulfills you. This means getting clear on your values and priorities, and then aligning your choices with them. Take time to envision your ideal life. What does it look like? How do you spend your time? Who are you with? Once you have a clear picture, start taking steps to make it a reality. This might mean having tough conversations with loved ones about your needs. It might mean saying no to social obligations that drain you. It might mean taking risks to pursue your dreams. Remember, you have the right to create the life you want. You don't need permission from anyone else. As a winning woman, you have the power to shape your own destiny.

Capítulo 8

Conclusion

Transforming from a nice girl to a winning woman is a journey, not a destination. There will be setbacks along the way, but don't let them discourage you. Each time you assert yourself, negotiate successfully, or stand up for what you believe in, you're growing stronger. The world needs more winning women - women who are kind and assertive, compassionate and strong. By embracing these qualities in yourself, you're not only improving your own life, but you're also paving the way for other women to do the same. So go forth and win, my friends. The corner office - and the life you truly desire - are waiting for you.

★★★★★

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Más de 1 millón de estudiantes lo adoran

“Llevo 23 días y lo he usado todos los días. Ya forma parte de mi rutina diaria.”

jayallen

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assertive communication
boundary setting
female empowerment
conflict resolution
workplace negotiation

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Nice girls are those more concerned with pleasing others than addressing their own needs.
Being kind and being assertive are not mutually exclusive.
Saying 'no' to some things allows you to say 'yes' to what really matters to you.
True confidence comes from knowing your worth and being willing to stand up for it.
You have the right to create the life you want.

Personajes en Las mujeres listas no piden permiso

Lois P. FrankelAuthor and expert on women's empowerment
Carol FrohlingerCo-author and advocate for winning women

Sobre el Autor

Lois P. Frankel, PhD, es la autora de grandes éxitos de ventas de Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It y una experta en comportamiento en el lugar de trabajo reconocida internacionalmente. Se desempeña como presidenta de Corporate Coaching International y es pionera en el desarrollo del liderazgo femenino.

Los libros de Frankel centrados en la carrera profesional, incluyendo Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office (un éxito de ventas de New York Times y Wall Street Journal) y Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich, combinan conocimientos psicológicos con estrategias prácticas. Estos recursos ayudan a las mujeres a superar comportamientos de autosabotaje en contextos profesionales y financieros.

Comentarista frecuente en el Today Show de NBC, CNN y PBS, Frankel ha asesorado a empresas de la lista Fortune 500 como Microsoft y GE. También ha ofrecido conferencias magistrales en eventos importantes como la Conferencia del Gobernador de California sobre Mujeres y Familias.

Sus obras, traducidas a más de 25 idiomas, combinan décadas de experiencia en coaching ejecutivo con marcos de trabajo respaldados por investigaciones para el avance profesional. Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office sigue siendo un referente cultural, incluso apareciendo como una pregunta de Jeopardy! sobre la dinámica en el lugar de trabajo.

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Creado por exalumnos de la Universidad de Columbia en San Francisco

LOVED BY

1,000,000+ curious minds.

4.7

avg rating

1M+ learners

"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

@Chloe, Solo founder, LA

117

"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

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108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

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"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore

"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

@Pitiful

4.5K

"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."

@SofiaP

"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"

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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."

@OojasSalunke

"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."

@Leo, Law Student, UPenn

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"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"

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"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

@Moemenn

"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."

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"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."

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108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC

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"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."

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ResumenResumen de Las mujeres listas no piden permiso

Un libro. Muchas formas de escucharlo.

Introduction: The Nice Girl Problem

Part 1: Understanding the Nice Girl Syndrome

Ve cada palabra mientras la escuchas

Part 2: From Nice Girl to Winning Woman

Part 3: Practical Strategies for Success

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Part 4: Navigating Difficult Conversations

Part 5: Building Your Confidence

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Part 6: Creating the Life You Want

Conclusion

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Sobre el Autor

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Preguntas Frecuentes Sobre Este Libro

What is Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It about?

Who should read Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It?

Is Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It worth reading?

How does Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It differ from Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office?

Descubre más

1,000,000+ curious minds.

1,000,000+ curious minds.

Un libro. Muchas formas de escucharlo.

Introduction: The Nice Girl Problem

Part 1: Understanding the Nice Girl Syndrome

Ve cada palabra mientras la escuchas

Part 2: From Nice Girl to Winning Woman

Part 3: Practical Strategies for Success

Saca más partido a Las mujeres listas no piden permiso

Part 4: Navigating Difficult Conversations

Part 5: Building Your Confidence

Ve cada palabra mientras la escuchas

Part 6: Creating the Life You Want

Conclusion

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